Some of you may remember this post..........
New to this forum and thought I would get a third party's advice on a pretty serious issue.
Let me paint the picture......have been separated since July of 2012 and divorced since January of this year from a 20 plus year relationship. I have children and am in their lives on an almost daily basis. Over the last several months, the x and I have been talking about reconciliation and putting the family back together. During the last several months of our separation and divorce, both her and I have been seeing someone. Both relationships have been finished with the understanding the we both want to work on putting the marriage back together.
Here is the kicker......during the final night of her relationship with this OM, they had what I will call 'break up' sex and she is now pregnant! She is 43 and has not had a child in 5 years. I was a little taken aback but what could I say? We are indeed divorced......it was her life. Since being back in the same town as her and my children again, I have heard a thousand 'I'm sorrys'. She has told me that she is not going to tell the baby's father that she is pregnant because she does not want him in our lives as we move forward. She is about 4 weeks along.
I still love this woman, minus the last two years, we have a long and good history together. Part of me is screaming to support her and love her through this and to raise the child as if it were my own. The other part of me is yelling 'run to the hills'! Has anyone gone through a similar situation? I think I know what I need to do but would love to hear some feedback!
Well, crazy as reared its ugly head. She has told the baby daddy that she is expecting (which in my opinion was the right thing to do) and as you can imagine he is excited and wants her back now. What this revelation does for me is that it COMPLETELY takes reconciliation off of the table. Period! I did not want her to get an abortion but I refuse to be a part of their lives knowing that one of her past sexual partners is going to be around for a long time to come. Is this very selfish of me? What should I say to her? If anything?
Need some common sense talked into my head right now..........