Ok
Never really done this before so guess I am looking for a sounding board and some external views. I am getting married in a couple of months to a lady who is like no other. I am not nervous about getting wed at all I am really looking forward to it. We have just finished the normal rounds of stag do / hen do, and its the latter that brought things to a boil.
My partner has had a male friend for a long time, she says he is more like a brother, they where brought up near each other and their parents where close friends ( apparently her mum had hoped one day they would get married). I have always felt a little odd about this chap, something I could put my finger on, but being a bloke it almost felt like he was stuck in the friendship zone (but would like more, however this could be on my head). Over the years he has given her some personal gifts such as hand drawn pictures in frames and spent holidays with her family. She calls him when she is upset and confides in him in a way she doesn't with me. Now she has worked and had other mail friends I have not thought twice about, its really just this one chap. She says nothing has happened between them historically but there is just something about them / him.
Anyway, her hen do was decided based on out of all things based on where he lived, in face the city they all went to was his home city where he has a flat. She invited him along even though it was a hen do, and he spent most of the weekend with them, during which time all but the most basic communication was cut off. Which in its self is odd as I normally get bombarded daily with how you doing and what you up to texts. On my stag do I called every morning for 15 minutes to let her know when we had done the day before. I wasn't best pleased about a bloke being at the Hen do but I mentioned it once, it seemed not to sink in so didn't push it, I don't want to be one of those overbearing husbands (or to be at least)
Now to be honest from my side, before this relationship I had been in a couple where my gut gave me this same feeling and I ignored it and it turned out I did had something to worry about, but on the same breath in my younger days I was liberal with my affections in relationships.
I guess what im wondering is am I getting wound up because im tarring her with the brush I used when I was younger? Am I just paranoid from my own experiences of being overly trusting in the past or is there something to worry about with him?