Intro

[Perez77]

Hello My name is Perez. I'm in a unhealthy relationship with someone with clinical depression (or bipolar) and a drinking problem.

I've got a child with this person, and this person is making it where I can't be happy and enjoy my child.

This person has an autistic son from a previous relationship, and is angry at God and the world because of this. At one point I believe this person hated non autistic kids and the parents of non autistic kids.

I work 64 hours a week to pay my bills off. Rather then encouraging me, this person ridicules me. See I'm a college graduate, but I haven't found a job that I can use my degree as of yet. So I'm working two dead end jobs to pay my bills to live and pay my bills. This person only works 9 hours a week a dead end job also. I've never put this person down about their job, but this person feels they've got the right to make me feel bad my job. It's like misery loves company thing.

I'm not a depressed person. I have an optimistic view on life. I feel we get what we put in life. I know my life will go well if I do what it takes to make it go well.
I'm not Christian. I'm a black male of Caribbean heritage. I also have partial Jewish/Arab (Middle Eastern background). I live in accordance with the spirituality of my ancestors at the moment. I'm on a spiritual quest. This person and their family think all non Baptist are of the devil. Yet the person I date lives not in accordance with any spirituality beyond saying the name " Baptist" or superficially using religious terms, titles, and names.
She's got no desire to see life beyond the misery in her mind. She doesn't care how she treats people. She's destroyed some of my African and Jewish items from my heritage.
I work a job where I have to be relived by s coworker to go home. At times my coworkers are late. This person blames me for my coworkers being late. We have meetings at work. She says I should attend my meetings, because she wants to spend time with me. She tells me I should demand a change of hours to my employer, not ask for a change of hours. She says I should quit my job, yet I have bills to pay. She equates me not listening to her as treating her bad. She drinks often, and when she does she starts talking bad about me to my face. When I retaliate by telling her accomplishments aren't so grand to be dogging me out. She gets upset . Yet she doesn't realize she started it. Ever heard the saying don't throw stones when you live in glass houses. This person complains of having no cash, but one of the reasons why is because they spend it on alcoholic drinks. I use kosher alcoholic drink for spiritual purposes. I asked her not to drink my alcoholic drink that I use for spiritual purposes, but she does and then she fills my bottles with water or juice. Then she tries to get her family to laugh at the fact I do use kosher alcoholic drinks for spiritual purposes.
My logic is as a grown man I should be able to use alcoholic drinks for spiritual purposes because I bought it. To her any alcoholic drinks in the house are hers to drink.
She doesn't respect my heritage. Like I said I'm Caribbean born of African and Sephardic jewish heritage. She keeps calling me African American and trying to base and confine me to stereotypes she's got for African Americans. She jokes about my heritage as if I'm lying about it. Despite I speak 6 languages. She doesn't understand I just want to be what I am. When I tell her I'm not African American, she ask me do I think I'm better then African Americans. I tell her no I don't. I just want to be what I am. She's white from the south. She assumes all " white" people have one culture, all " blacks" have theirs, and all Hispanics are Mexicans, and all Asians are Chinese.
She smells like alcoholic drinks all day. I don't like the smell of beer. Yet she wants me to kiss her smelling like that, and gets very upset if I don't.
She tried to order me to go to bed when she does. If I didn't shed get upset. She won't let me study for my test for certification for my career. As soon as I get home she expects me to give her all my time. She talks to me when I pray, and expects me to stop my prayer to answer me. She kicks me out of the house I pay 3/4 of the bills at any moment. I'll go to work and come home and she wants me out. Usually because I didn't do something she wants, or she tried to put me down and I told her she's not too grand to put down anyone. When I tell her she's drinking to much she gets upset and tells me " stop putting me down". She staggers all over the house. She threatens to take my baby son to her ex who is more of an alcoholic then her. She says he accepts her for what she is. He lives in California. Bipolar runs in her family and none of her family seems to think theirs s problem. Her mom has suggested she go back to her ex who drank so much he's lost their older autistic son at the park. He's got numerous DUI that involved wrecks ? Yet my so called girlfriend thinks because she's white shell get my son. She does a good job of pretending she's got life together. That's how she got me in the first place. She thinks she can dog on me and take my son from me because she's a white American woman from the south. She often staggers up the steps with him because she drank too much. She tells me I don't love my son because I work. I tell her I'm paying my bills off so I can give my son a future.
Tell me your thoughts because I'm going insane ...

[AdminOnline]

Hi Perez77 and welcome to Love Forum - Online Relationship Discussion! Hope you enjoy your stay here.

[Perez77]

Thank you i appreciate it