Thanks woody. I am feeling ok. The dose im on at the mo is a standard dose for insomnia, not depression. They initially prescribe that though to see if you cope with the meds, ive known people on 15mg solely for sleep, so I am safe from serotonin depletion/syndrome. The serotonergic effects don't kick in till 30mg and the sleepy groggyness wears off; it works paradoxically by the serotonin kicking in on 30mg and drowsyness wearing off on the higher dose. I'm supposed to be upgraded to 30mg today, so theoretically I could do that myself as my old doc who I was supposed to see today but couldn't, doesnt know that I've been given 28 x 15mg by hospital on sunday (though have 31 tabs from not taking last few days) as she is not my new gp, I registered today with new gp but won't get an appointment till at least two weeks, my registration is Dec 31st. So I have enough to last till then even if taking 2x15 for the next 15 days.
But apart from yesterday I haven't taken since sat night.
My Gf would not be happy about me hiding it from her or even telling her im still using, then she would say I lied that I quit, and it is lying. Though yes if i consistently took 30mg from now I would be fine in 2-3 weeks) or my consumption. she believes I do not need them and with 4 days out my system I'm starting to see that is probably correct too. I no longer have family stress (they were pissed I was taking them too as after seeing me on drugs for years they did not lke it one bit) or girlfriend stress, I think is ok to jump off from the sleeping tablet dose, but I will take your advice with gratitude and do some research and try to speak on the phone to a doctor on a 111 number out of hours GP.
On another note that girl has been texting me tonight wanting to meet for a chat and a drink. I always thought we were just chatting, i normally notice the signals, (but was caught off guard this time but apparently she wants more and said I know I don't have any chance with you - whats all that about? That I'm some kind of god?!). I've made it very clear I'm involved with someone else but will still meet her for a drink. I won't cheat ever. She also knows all my drug problems too! I rarely drink, and might not drink tomorrow.
Why do all these women want me? My parents call me drug addict scum!
Jčeeeeez.....
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She was* a social worker for rehab (where they totally get you off EVERYTHING unless in v.v.serious cases. This is an abusable anti-d (one of the few) before rehab while dating and getting on very well, she was not happy that my doc gave me valium to cope with the anxiey of going there and said after rehab dont take diazepam if your doctor offers it anymore! This is a similar echo of that. She doesn't see it that way at all and says I should abstain from even paracetamol (or acetiminophen whatever you guys call it).
Yet the irony is that she will have a drink with me because it was never my problem, and we drink together, just a couple but amount doesn't matter. And anti depressants were never my problem! Trying to get my head around that! Is twisting my melon!
Thanks for being older sis, I have younger one but we don't speak. That goes for my parents too as they kicked me out on monday, I'm alone! Except for a few good friends and my landlord funnily enough, is like a second father always looking out for me. Living alone is the Easiest but also sometimes most dangerous when it comes to addiction (and not working I cant yet)
I do plenty of walking around London to keep myself busy, is a huge city. Full of drugs though. Also other better things to do here though too
My father will be surprised how I picked myself up from hospital, packed bags, hostel for 3 nights, moved in on 3rd. Sorted almost EVERYTHING. He thought I had no money but I receieved a lot in back payments and save whilst at theres.
I have £2000
Pay £300 rent a month for my own studio apartment,
I receive £850 from state welfare/housing benefits per month and all healthcare including hospital visits, doctors are free for everyone. scripts and dentists are free for me, as I'm on benefit. I am entitled to it as Ive been a working full time taxpayer for 14 years. I would still be entitled even if I never worked, but I want a career when I am ready (Though a life on benefits is probably easier! But I have ambitions)
My dad thinks I get £70 a week and have no money. Wrong! I didn't tell him because he would have made me pay him, when I was just biding my time living rent free all inclusive. I think he expects a phone call in a few days asking for help, as he thinks i am skint...but he wont be receiving one, I am capable of standing on my own two feet. Last monday he left me in the hospital with nowhere to go. I got the tube to a hostel, was allowed to come back home, pack my bags only then taken back to hostel for the night, moved next day, now secure, all i need
- - - Updated - - -
She was* a social worker for rehab (where they totally get you off EVERYTHING unless in v.v.serious cases. This is an abusable anti-d (one of the few) before rehab while dating and getting on very well, she was not happy that my doc gave me valium to cope with the anxiey of going there and said after rehab dont take diazepam if your doctor offers it anymore! This is a similar echo of that. She doesn't see it that way at all and says I should abstain from even paracetamol (or acetiminophen whatever you guys call it).
Yet the irony is that she will have a drink with me because it was never my problem, and we drink together, just a couple but amount doesn't matter. And anti depressants were never my problem! Trying to get my head around that! Is twisting my melon!
Thanks for being older sis, I have younger one but we don't speak. That goes for my parents too as they kicked me out on monday, I'm alone! Except for a few good friends and my landlord funnily enough, is like a second father always looking out for me. Living alone is the Easiest but also sometimes most dangerous when it comes to addiction (and not working I cant yet)
I do plenty of walking around London to keep myself busy, is a huge city. Full of drugs though. Also other better things to do here though too
My father will be surprised how I picked myself up from hospital, packed bags, hostel for 3 nights, moved in on 3rd. Sorted almost EVERYTHING. He thought I had no money but I receieved a lot in back payments and save whilst at theres.
I have £2000
Pay £300 rent a month for my own studio apartment,
I receive £850 from state welfare/housing benefits per month and all healthcare including hospital visits, doctors are free for everyone. scripts and dentists are free for me, as I'm on benefit. I am entitled to it as Ive been a working full time taxpayer for 14 years. I would still be entitled even if I never worked, but I want a career when I am ready (Though a life on benefits is probably easier! But I have ambitions)
My dad thinks I get £70 a week and have no money. Wrong! I didn't tell him because he would have made me pay him, when I was just biding my time living rent free all inclusive. I think he expects a phone call in a few days asking for help, as he thinks i am skint...but he wont be receiving one, I am capable of standing on my own two feet. Last monday he left me in the hospital with nowhere to go. I got the tube to a hostel, was allowed to come back home, pack my bags only then taken back to hostel for the night, moved next day, now secure, all i need