Sticky situation....help!

[Lloyd95]

I just noticed that you're only 21; you seemed older. How old is he?
A lot of his BS might just be due to his immaturity.

[Jeblina]

Well if he doesn't show up or even call, that's not just treating you like a doormat, it's down right impolite and rude.

Carp, I think she was being honest this whole time.

But Carp does make a good point: don't "love" him or stay with him just bc he's good to your daughter. Any bf you have, if he's worth anything, will love your daughter as well as you, b/c he will know how much she means to you. Yes, it's a package deal, but one with tremendous upside. And your current bf (having a daughter of his own), or any guy with kids will realize that.

The fact that he's great with my daughter is only one of the reasons that I care about him....there are many others.....including how good I feel when I'm with him (although that seems quickly forgotten by me when he blows me off), and....well.....the sex is amazing (I myself have always been a bit "shy" in bed....and I have NO inhibitions at ALL with him)......etc, etc.

[Jeblina]

I just noticed that you're only 21; you seemed older. How old is he?
A lot of his BS might just be due to his immaturity.

Yes, I'm young...but I feel like I've lived a lot more life than my 21 years He'll be 22 in October...so yes, he is young...and chances are, he's far more immature than I am.....he really never got much of a childhood...his father was a crack addict who left at when he was 6...so he had to grow up pretty fast....and then his daughter was born when he was 16.

[Lloyd95]

Ah yes, the sex Gotcha.

[TAVS]

I remember sex....I think.

[Lloyd95]

A bit Off Topic, but you might do better with an older guy, maybe >26ish; one who has his priorities more in order. I know when I was 22, I was alot more out for myself, then girlfriends etc. It's like a coming of age time, and he does have responsibilities at a young age.

Not that that has anything to do with your situation.

[Lloyd95]

I remember sex....I think.

Ditto that.

[Jeblina]

A bit Off Topic, but you might do better with an older guy, maybe >26ish; one who has his priorities more in order. I know when I was 22, I was alot more out for myself, then girlfriends etc. It's like a coming of age time, and he does have responsibilities at a young age.

Not that that has anything to do with your situation.

Yeah....I'm sure you're probably right.....but I will admit, that after having my daughter, my self-confidence was pretty much shot down. Before I got pregnant, guys would look at me, hit on me, slow down if they passed me in a car, etc......after having my daughter, that's all different.....and it really affected me. Maybe I'm "clinging" (god I hate using that word...I'm not clingy...it was the only word I could think of that was appropriate) to the first guy that's shown me attention in 2 years......

And I've told him MANY times before.....if he's got something else to do, or wants to go hang with "the boys", all he's gotta do is be honest with me....I understand that he doesn't want to hang out with me 24/7 (I'd worry if he did)......but all I ask is that he actually talk to me and tell me what's going on...

[Tone]

Do just that, find out what's goin on.

But don't let this guy act like a total jerkoff to you and get away with it. I mean if it's been 2 months and he already acts like this, imagine 2 years from now?

I can see what you're sayin about just liking the attention, and it might be your case now. =/

Just make sure you don't settle for anything but the best, this guy isn't the best right now let's be honest. If he doesn't get his shit straight, start being honest with you, following through with plans, then why bother wasting time you could be spending possibly meeting someone new?

[misombra]

even if he does sit down and talk to you, he will not change. he will avoid the subject forever. if he doesn't want to talk to you about this serious issue, what other serious issues will he avoid? if you really don't want a person who does drugs, then don't be with this person.

repeat: he will not change.

[Jeblina]

Do just that, find out what's goin on.

Just make sure you don't settle for anything but the best, this guy isn't the best right now let's be honest. If he doesn't get his shit straight, start being honest with you, following through with plans, then why bother wasting time you could be spending possibly meeting someone new?

I'm trying to find out what's going on...I'm REALLY trying.....I'm obviously putting in more effort than HE is!

It's SO easy for me to say to myself,"I deserve nothing but the best" or "I deserve better than this....I could be out meeting someone GREAT"....but the fact of the matter is...I think my self-confidence is STILL shaken.....and it's hard for me to get out and meet new people....for two reasons...the first of which is my daughter......and I have anxiety disorder......I'm great with people....and love meeting new people...but public places are an issue with me.....restaurants send me into a major anxiety attack........so you can imagine how hard it is for me to go out and meet new people!

[TAVS]

Don't let your confidence bring you down. Yea, your daughter makes dating tricky, thats a fact of life. But you're a very attractive young woman with a good head on your shoulders. I understand what you said about anxiety disorder. There's always Internet dating.

[Jeblina]

Don't let your confidence bring you down. Yea, your daughter makes dating tricky, thats a fact of life. But you're a very attractive young woman with a good head on your shoulders. I understand what you said about anxiety disorder. There's always Internet dating.

Internet dating...::shudders:: I've done it before....every guy I've met from online has been a stalker....seriously...I think their middle names were "restraining order"

[carpflounder]

Good! He shouldn't change...there is no part of his life (that we know of) that is not working!

[TAVS]

I hear ya. I've done a bit of Internet dating myself. Fortunately, I'm on the other side of the sinking ship.....More competition but the quality isn't there. I was about to marry this gal I met on collegeclub.com and we dated for 4yrs.