Should I be upset about this or not?

[Gigabitch]

You're already nuts. Suck it up.

[BlackiesHD]

NOt much more to say bout that one, lol.

Man Saturday is gonna be REALLY awkward if we dont talk by then. Thats the day when theres not many managers there all day so we can be more open with talking all day. We usually walk to the back to something to drink several times a day. And we almost always go get Subway to eat on Saturdays too. I can literally stand up at my desk and see her, and since theres not as many people working on Saturdays Im gonna hear her all day and its gonna drive me nuts.

It's gotta be tough. Probably test your acting skills and just pretend that nothing happened, nothing is happening, nothing is bothering you and go about your business. Be sure to act happy.

Of course it might be fun if a hot babe walked in and took you to lunch arm in arm, but that's the mean streak in me. Do you have any 'just friends' girls that could play that role for an hour?

And Gigabitch, another moment a few minutes ago... She called and left a message while she was at lunch and I had stepped out. I called her back and we started having a nice conversation, very up-beat and positive, sharing our days events when one of her clients walked in. NOT her fault but this is getting crazy. Like I said the bottom line is this:

WE MUST HAVE PRIVATE TIME ALONE!!!

I love her.
I feel she loves me.

This is gonna be tragic if we can't sit down at some point. Quietly. Alone. In the woods. At the beach. On the back porch under the stars and trees. No kids. No phones. No clocks.

We could make it work, I just know it. If I'm wrong, at least I/we gave it our best shot.

Said she'll call me back. She will. Frustrating, difficult situation yet it's not her fault, not mine, just circumstances. Hey, at least we're both hanging in there...

[clynn]

Good luck, blackie. I hope that you get that time together!

Don't you have time at night after the kids go to sleep?

[BlackiesHD]

Good luck, blackie. I hope that you get that time together!

Don't you have time at night after the kids go to sleep?

Thanks Clynn -

Those kids stay up forever. And by the time they do go to sleep, we're both so tried we just crash out.

Doesn't matter now anyway, it's over. Haven't spoken to her in almost a week, I have left two messages with no return calls. It's given me a time-out to think about things...

Looking back, I'm now 90% sure there's a cocaine problem. Lot's of signs, everything from running to the restoom all the time and coming out with a runny nose to the crowd she hangs out with. Let's remember, I caught her in the act doing it once. (And yeah, I know I screwed up by joining in. I'm still kicking myself for that)

I've caught her in some white lies. Nothing major, but still a red flag.

She runs very hot and cold. Some days she would call constantly and then go for two days without even returning a message. The last time I spoke to her everything was great, she was sweet and planning this coming weekend, and now 'radio silence' for almost a week. I'm not dealing with a stable person here.

Her oldest son lives with the in-laws (why?)

The oldest daughter is in jail (for what? I don't know)

She got fired two weeks ago (she did get another job immediately)

Her Mother is throwing her out of the house (why?)

Some guy that loaned her money last year is sueing her for it

She talks about how she would never go to jail for anything as she has friends in the mob. (I reminded her that both Al Capone and John Gotti rotted away in jail until they died)

Every time she goes anywhere she runs into the ex-boyfriend who attacks her ('It took five guys to pull him off me!')

I could go on and on.

Having said all that, most of the time she is sweet, loving, affectionate and family orientated. But the percentage of the above (and more) drama has far out-weighed the good. It's a shame. There was/is love there but I can't handle the roller-coaster anymore. The emotional drain is too much. Like I said, it's a shame.

[clynn]

Geeze, blackie - I'm sorry.

The whole cocaine thing is very unfortunate, if indeed you are correct in your assumptions.

[ZG123]

Wow bro, I know Im probably the last person that should say this and should take my own advice, but, Id probably move on from that one, too many negative things there. But I totally get that the good times is what you remember and what you want back , and logic doesnt play into that.

And Im not trying to "downplay" your situtation, but trust me when I say your a DAMN lucky man that you dont work with your girl and you have alot of distance between eachother. Good luck.

[BlackiesHD]

Wow bro, I know Im probably the last person that should say this and should take my own advice, but, Id probably move on from that one, too many negative things there. But I totally get that the good times is what you remember and what you want back , and logic doesnt play into that.

And Im not trying to "downplay" your situtation, but trust me when I say your a DAMN lucky man that you dont work with your girl and you have alot of distance between eachother. Good luck.

Clynn and ZG123 -

You're both very much right. I just feel like that because I haven't called her (actually I did leave two un-returned messages last Friday) she feels like I'm just another male asshole that's let her down. We were SO close. Now I'm having guilt feelings, but for what logically? Maybe I'm the one that needs help to get rid of my 'shining armor' syndrome.

And yes, the good times. When the sun goes down and I walk out in the backyard remembering all the good times it hurts like hell. The table we built together, the barbeque we assembled on July 4th, the fireworks show we did for the kids, all that kinda stuff. But then unless she is sub-human she must be remembering those times as well.

And I cannot envision the pain that must occur when you have to see her every day at work ZG123. Stay strong. I too shall try.

[Gigabitch]

Oh my Freakin' God! Do you think that too, when you see the above spelled out like that?

You should buy her a t-shirt with a red flag on it, as a public service.

Wow, you really can pick 'em, huh Blackie? What are you, some kind of heartbreak magnet?

So I guess this means this weekend is definitely off, right?

[BlackiesHD]

Oh my Freakin' God! Do you think that too, when you see the above spelled out like that?

You should buy her a t-shirt with a red flag on it, as a public service.

Wow, you really can pick 'em, huh Blackie? What are you, some kind of heartbreak magnet?

So I guess this means this weekend is definitely off, right?

Yes

Yes

Yes

and... Yes

Somebody else's problem now, I'd truly rather be alone.

She did have a really great side to her heart though... But then again, Adolph Hitler and Charles Manson loved animals.

Better six months than six years....

[clynn]

Yah, I guess so.

Still, it sucks.

If it means anything - you are so clearly an awesome, stand up guy, good with children and a real family man who treats women well. That means you will get what you deserve eventually, a really nice girl with similar values and who is able to make the important things a priority.

[clynn]

Yah, I guess so.

Still, it sucks.

If it means anything - you are so clearly an awesome, stand up guy, good with children and a real family man who treats women well. That means you will get what you deserve eventually, a really nice girl with similar values and who is able to make the important things a priority.

[BlackiesHD]

Yah, I guess so.

Still, it sucks.

If it means anything - you are so clearly an awesome, stand up guy, good with children and a real family man who treats women well. That means you will get what you deserve eventually, a really nice girl with similar values and who is able to make the important things a priority.

It means everything Clynn, thanks.

I know I'll meet the right one eventually, may be tonight it or may be three years but it will be worth the wait. I'm lucky in two areas...I really don't have a lot of trouble meeting people. I can be very social and I'm not shy but when I meet one I focus all my time and energy on them. (A mistake, I know) Secondly, unlike a lot of guys I go for attitude far more than looks. Sure, I have 'my type,' meaning what I find attractive physically but it's not the Playboy Playmate.

And I don't need or want 'Mary Poppins.' In fact I prefer a girl with a slight 'edge' as I'm no angel myself but hard drugs, vilolent ex-boy friends and 'mob guys' (or in reality guys who pretend they're mob guys) are crossing the line. Unacceptable.

The kid thing? Thanks for that too. That was a part of me I never knew existed until I moved here to the South and started dating single Mothers (Xmas Girl being the first). Kinda proud of myself in that area, I find I really enjoy them. My ex Father-in-Law (who is still my good friend) gave me some advice recently. 'It's simple. Just relax and treat kids like you'd treat any adult and you'll be fine.' He was right. Two marriages and numerous relationships in Los Angeles, I only dated one single Mother. Ironically, we broke up over her cocaine addiction.

Still, I do have feelings for this one, I feel sorry for her and yes, do love her on several levels but it just ain't gonna work.

As the song says...'Somebody's Waiting...'

Thanks again.

[Gigabitch]

So what are you gonna do? End it clean or just let it fade away...

[BlackiesHD]

So what are you gonna do? End it clean or just let it fade away...

Well, I guess just let it fade away Giga, at least for right now. I've left two phone messages with no reply. (She no longer has email at her new job) Seems like it's almost her call at this point.

It's really sad.

What would you do if you were in my shoes? I respect your opinion.

[Gigabitch]

I would end it definitively. I don't really like loose ends, and I am a serial monogamist.

I think if you're worried you'll send her over the edge and into a cocaine binge, you might not want to do that, though. I guess it's not really an issue until you find someone else you want to commit to, right?