Ye Olde Farte Club

[KingZ]

Sonrisa's Russian mindset is sexy.

But I don't love her.

[HeartIsAching]

you can't just say i am wrong without giving me valid reasons

Because I know for a fact that it exists... but I can't prove it to you. You have to experience it... and I'm sure you will some day.

[HeartIsAching]

ok, vamp. since i am older and more experienced here we go. if you start a relationship based on love, believing in love, you'll always be questioning everything with: why does he act that way if he loves me, doesn't he care about my love for him, etc. the healthy way actually would be understanding that the two of you are sexually attracted to each other and are willing to sacrifice something to create place for each other in each other's world. thus if any issues arise would be, how can i reason with him to change/modify his/mine behaviour for our mutual happiness, or what can i do to improve myself to have his attraction grow stronger for me

Not true.

If you love and are truly loved, you will not question it. It IS a matter of faith, but you will begin with the axiom that this person loves you, and you love this person. You will believe whole-heartedly that if they've done something that is wrong, that they either don't realize it hurt you, or they've realized it and are in pain over the fact that they caused you pain. If you are any good at communications (THIS is the hard part for me), you will talk to them about it in a manner that invites dialogue and does not cause confrontation. If proper communications is achieved, you can work through it and understand each other better... but the motivation/belief is that love is central. You will not doubt that.

[Sonrisa]

Not true.

If you love and are truly loved, you will not question it. It IS a matter of faith, but you will begin with the axiom that this person loves you, and you love this person. You will believe whole-heartedly that if they've done something that is wrong, that they either don't realize it hurt you, or they've realized it and are in pain over the fact that they caused you pain. If you are any good at communications (THIS is the hard part for me), you will talk to them about it in a manner that invites dialogue and does not cause confrontation. If proper communications is achieved, you can work through it and understand each other better... but the motivation/belief is that love is central. You will not doubt that.

are you christian?

[HeartIsAching]

are you christian?

Not even slightly.

[asdfg789]

ok, vamp. since i am older and more experienced here we go. if you start a relationship based on love, believing in love, you'll always be questioning everything with: why does he act that way if he loves me, doesn't he care about my love for him, etc. the healthy way actually would be understanding that the two of you are sexually attracted to each other and are willing to sacrifice something to create place for each other in each other's world. thus if any issues arise would be, how can i reason with him to change/modify his/mine behaviour for our mutual happiness, or what can i do to improve myself to have his attraction grow stronger for me

jaded, much ?

[Jenswaiting]

Not true.

If you love and are truly loved, you will not question it. It IS a matter of faith, but you will begin with the axiom that this person loves you, and you love this person. You will believe whole-heartedly that if they've done something that is wrong, that they either don't realize it hurt you, or they've realized it and are in pain over the fact that they caused you pain. If you are any good at communications (THIS is the hard part for me), you will talk to them about it in a manner that invites dialogue and does not cause confrontation. If proper communications is achieved, you can work through it and understand each other better... but the motivation/belief is that love is central. You will not doubt that.

I'll second this. Love is a special thing once you have experienced it and understand that it heals. I've had similar baggage where I doubted myself, but once I experienced love with my last partner all that faded away. Faith in your relationship and each other is part of what keeps a couple so strong. While it may seem improbable, unconditional love can exist as long as you are open to it. Oh and I'm an atheist...so religion has nothing to do with this. Being jaded only closes off the opportunity for finding a loving relationship where each partner is willing to make it work.