Inner Game

[IndiReloaded]

It is only the field when the test subject doesn't know it is tested on.

I can't speak for others, but I recognized very young (around 18) that there were guys trying to 'play' me for attention/dates. I spent a lot of time (nearly every weekend) sneaking into bars as an underage teenybopper, so this was old news by the time I went away to uni & experienced that social scene.

I think you aren't giving smart girls credit for seeing things as they are. And, as you admit, women do talk. I am quite open to young females & males about what to expect in certain social situations.

[misombra]

It is only the field when the test subject doesn't know it is tested on. You girls here know what he is saying, so of course it will piss you off.

actually, the fact that guys use games and manipulative to get women is nothing new. any smart woman will know what she is dealing with from a mile away. an even smarter woman would either leave you alone or eat you for dinner.

[IndiReloaded]

You could always try reserving direct honesty as a tool to separate the wheat from the chaff. And honesty doesn't negate the use of wit in a conversation, of course. Its a balance, like everything.

I seem to remember Sphinx (and Miso, Vash, myself) saying this pages ago...?

[Only-virgins]

actually, the fact that guys use games and manipulative to get women is nothing new. any smart woman will know what she is dealing with from a mile away. an even smarter woman would either leave you alone or eat you for dinner.

I never said it was new. Just that it seems to works on UNSUSPECTING girls.

[vashti]

Unsuspecting girls? What, are you planning to hit on 14 year olds?

[TheSphinx]

I think an "opener" to try for the unsuspecting girls would be to carry a boombox blaring the Jaws theme as you make your approach.

~Sphinx

[IndiReloaded]

I think an "opener" to try for the unsuspecting girls would be to carry a boombox blaring the Jaws theme as you make your approach.

~Sphinx

Hahaha. Would one of the mods pls thank this post for me? My button doesn't work on this browser, lol!

+1 For best post of the week.

[Only-virgins]

Oh shut up you guys, you know what I mean. Girls that don't know about these things.

[GrkScorp]

It is only the field when the test subject doesn't know it is tested on. You girls here know what he is saying, so of course it will piss you off.

Anyway.. yes.. if you tell someone.. "Sir, take this placebo pill, and tell me if you feel any different".. chances are.. he's not going to feel any different..

Similarly.. explain the magic trick you're about to preform.. and there's no point in preforming it.. it no longer has that element of magic to it..

But there's something important here.. that I hope you don't make the mistake of doing.. (pre-scripting, memorizing lines, faking, or acting).. all of that is Outer Game, and that's not what this thread is about..

Inner Game affords you this wonderful tool when it gets strong enough.. it's called "moxie".. in short, moxie is the ability to hold a fun, interesting, funny, and emotionally stimulating conversation, naturally, genuinely, spontaneously, instinctively and automatically.. With moxie, a conversation can never die out around you.. you'll always find some way to genuinely and naturally turn even dry subjects/topics into interesting, fun, stimulating and juicy conversation.. and this is an attractive quality.. But more importantly.. it's a byproduct of Inner Game, and results from natural and genuine delivery of conversation.. genuine confidence..

So, a word on the attempts to argue once again.. Actually, being pissed off is understandable.. I actually applaud all of them.. it's more towards the mild side.. If I was a woman i'd be really pissed off.. but again, it's understandable.. When we are shown our weaknesses, and ways they can be exploited, we feel vulnerable.. this gets us angry, but after anger, there's just ego.. not willing to accept it.. in denial.. (much like with death).. weak attempts to (isolate, degrade what constitutes the field.. limit to field to include a specific few.. and then contrast the two as "oh, those are just immature, baby girls, who are stupid.. we're smart, we'd never fall for that")..

- What kind of girls are you trying this on? 14 year olds?
- Only stupid girls would fall for that
- Smart, intelligent women wouldn't fall for that
- Women can smell it from a mile away
- When they do, they're either leave or eat you up

(Now, i'm not getting on anyone's case.. and i'm also not telling you to overlook older, married women as potential targets.. although, out of respect, you should stay away from married women.. and older women just want sex anyway from a younger guy..)

Case Study: (Neurobiology-girl, 21, hereby Megan)

- Biochemistry & Physics double-major, accepted to Mount Sinai School of Medicine, looking to specialize in neurology (specifically interested in Parkinson's research)

Like the idiot that I am, I start talking about NLP to keep the conversation going at the moment.. I was shocked.. Megan knew almost everything there was to know about the subject.. She took a course of Neurology & the Brain and fell in love with the topic.. She knew nearly all the works of Milton H. Erickson, Richard Bandler, John Grinder, Gregory Bateson, Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir, and Igor Ledochowski in great detail.. Though I really enjoyed talking for quite a while about the subject, we both loved it, we were both nerds deep inside.. and both huge Darren Brown fans..

Down the line she started talking about the nervous system and how she's working with a doctor now who makes 3D models of the mind to explain what happens in the brain.. At that moment, a switch flipped off in my head, and I delivered perhaps the most powerful pattern on the spot and completely within context..

"I don't mean to interrupt, but since we're on the subject, I don't know if you watch the Discovery Channel or not, you're probably busy to catch it all the time, but I absolutely love it, it's the only channel I watch.. It had this special recently on attraction and love in humans (I didn't want to use the word sex).. It showed 3D models of what exactly happens throughout the entire human body and the brain from beginning to end.. It started off talking about how attraction, just like other powerful emotions such as fear, nervousness, and excitement bring into play the sympathetic & parasympathetic nervous system.. And that during those first stages of attraction, the body feels those same sensations taking place.. The first thing that takes place is obviously getting input of the other person, your eyes pick up on the details of their face.. your ears start to notice the unique sound of their voice.. and (touching her knee) things like touch and smell all come into play.. and that's when the whole process starts, that's when the brain sends the message, 'i'm attracted to this person' to the body.. and what was interesting is that the first thing that happens, is that you start to become aware of your breathing, it's no longer automatic.. and while you're aware of how conscious and in control of your breathing you are.. those feelings of nervousness and excitement start to pop up.. and as you take each breath, the chest starts to feel shaky, from all that nervousness and excitement.. that's the adrenaline rushing out.. which causes the very next sensation.. the breathing changes.. while the adrenaline starts flowing, and as those feelings of nervousness and excitement spread thoughout the body, your breathing starts to get much fuller, deeper, and more relaxed.. and at that very moment, the heart starts to pump faster.. you can feel it pounding.. harder.. and now it has the oxygen to do so.. and as it just keeps pounding.. and you can feel it pounding harder.. deeper breaths.. this sensation spreads.. all throughout the entire body.. starting from your head.. going down.. below you.. and then back up.. up and down.. and it's really a mix of emotions.. nervousness, excitement, attraction.. coupled with hyperventilation.. and as you feel all that.. your brain releases a very potent love-cocktail, and first it acts within the brain, it's like a mildly numb sensation.. but then those juices move downwards along your body.. that really gets the muscles to unwind and relax.. and helps regulate the breathing.. and just before that sense of attraction completely takes over.. the body starts to feel warmer.. like it's starting to heat up.. all while you feel those feelings and sensations all around your body.. With me, I thought the most interesting part was how it all looks deep inside.. the brain.. during an active MRI.. the pleasure center of the brain is practically all red.. And what's funny is that the whole body is so busy, that memory doesn't get activated.. so when we think back to those times we felt really attracted to someone for the first time.. we'll never really remember any of these sensations or things that were taking place.. it's almost like those little details don't matter, but they do! Without them.. there would be no attraction.."

(Her faced changed from completely flushed, to blushing, to red.. her breathing changed as I paced her through the whole story.. her pupils were practically fully dialated.. and after that.. she got shy/submissive.. more flirty, playful, smiled more, and touched more.. I didn't even have to go into the whole "you know what the second most sensitive part of the body is? this lips.. most people don't know.. and it's actually, believe it or not, one of the most neglected parts.. blah blah" she had puppy-dog eyes and we kissed mid-way though the night; she was a sh*tty kisser, but that's besides the point)

The point is.. Mrs./Dr. NLP got her @ss handed to her.. and although out of the girls i've dated, she wasn't in the best position to call me on it (i've had my fair share of psychology majors.. most of them children's psychology.. but one was behavioral/cognitive.. and she still didn't call me on it).. she ended up enjoying it.. and that's always the point!

That's the difference between using patterns as part of Outer Game, being fake, pre-scripted, non-genuine, and just looking to get into someone's pants via hypnosis.. and having strong Inner Game, being genuine, natural, not using pre-scripted lines and such things, but instead having "moxie".. and your goal should not be "making her fall for it".. All you're doing is talking.. you're using words.. and you're just there to make her feel great.. emotionally stimulate her.. not manipulate her..

This is all part of natural conversation.. it's just words.. put together in a certain way that get a certain reaction.. when delivered naturally.. and moxie affords you the ability to deliver them naturally.. like a new style of speaking.. able to take anything and make it emotionally stimulating, fun, interesting, and funny.. and this is a quality girls love.. simply because it makes them feel great..

If your intentions are to manipulate "her", then you'll ALWAYS fail.. girls/women both smart & dumb, young and old.. will pick up on it from a mile away.. and maybe they will leave or eat you up.. and rightfully so..

But if your intentions are to make her feel great & amazing inside, and just provide a fun, rich, emotionally stimulating time.. then you'll ALWAYS succeed.. And strong Inner Game and moxie will do just that..

[Only-virgins]

I talked to this girl yesterday and asked her if she can do something for me, in reality I had no conversation breaker so I tried to just make sure I get another opportunity to talk to her. She is a social person and I kind of choked man, I think my speech stuttered and I gave the impression that I have to get out of there to much. She called me back on it as I walked away...She said my name and asked something about a project that is being worked on. I asked her to get me a video that I actually already have. She agreed and introduced herself. Now I have a huge problem. She will give me the vid in a couple of days and I don't know what else to say to her....even worse...she gave me her name and I COMPLETELY forgot it...she intimidated me and I started stuttering and I choked. I think she even in a subtle way invited me for a chat right there but I left. Shit.

[IndiReloaded]

I talked to this girl yesterday and asked her if she can do something for me, in reality I had no conversation breaker so I tried to just make sure I get another opportunity to talk to her. She is a social person and I kind of choked man, I think my speech stuttered and I gave the impression that I have to get out of there to much. She called me back on it as I walked away...She said my name and asked something about a project that is being worked on. I asked her to get me a video that I actually already have. She agreed and introduced herself. Now I have a huge problem. She will give me the vid in a couple of days and I don't know what else to say to her....even worse...she gave me her name and I COMPLETELY forgot it...she intimidated me and I started stuttering and I choked. I think she even in a subtle way invited me for a chat right there but I left. Shit.

Keep it light, OV, don't freak out. Its NOT a huge problem, you're psyching yourself out man.

You've got a wonderful opportunity here. If she gives you the vid, thank her politely & excuse yourself after a short period of time. Light pleasantries only. If she doesn't in a couple of days, gently remind her when you next see her "hey, did you ever find that vid we were discussing?".

If she does give you the vid, then she's made an effort for you & that's good. Wait a day or so & then mention casually about wanting to discuss it w/her.

Smile lots. Try to stay relaxed, its not life or death. Find someone at work you can find out her name from in a subtle way asap. If there is an older matriarch type in the lab (like me) ask her & she'll help. Try not to ask her friend or peer as it may get back to her.

Actually, if you talk to her again, I think you should just jump her bones right there in the hall. Joking. Have fun.

[Only-virgins]

Keep it light, OV, don't freak out. Its NOT a huge problem, you're psyching yourself out man.

You've got a wonderful opportunity here. If she gives you the vid, thank her politely & excuse yourself after a short period of time. Light pleasantries only. If she doesn't in a couple of days, gently remind her when you next see her "hey, did you ever find that vid we were discussing?".

If she does give you the vid, then she's made an effort for you & that's good. Wait a day or so & then mention casually about wanting to discuss it w/her.

Smile lots. Try to stay relaxed, its not life or death. Find someone at work you can find out her name from in a subtle way asap. If there is an older matriarch type in the lab (like me) ask her & she'll help. Try not to ask her friend or peer as it may get back to her.

Actually, if you talk to her again, I think you should just jump her bones right there in the hall. Joking. Have fun.

Yea but I don't know what to say. I have a feeling that I will just thank her, take it, and it will end at that. Damn it. I have no one to find out her name from. Son of a....

She will give it to me. I pretty much trapped her into giving me another chance for a conversation. That was the point, I thought if I put it off for later it would be better. I can't believe I am making her do something unnecessary ...how lame is that? By the way, four guys are after this girl constantly and she talks to them so the competition sucks. I could swear though that she was looking at me a lot and her eyes look like big black buttons....I think she likes me and I have a feeling I'm gonna **** this up. :O(

[GrkScorp]

Yea but I don't know what to say. I have a feeling that I will just thank her, take it, and it will end at that........By the way, four guys are after this girl constantly and she talks to them so the competition sucks. I could swear though that she was looking at me a lot and her eyes look like big black buttons....I think she likes me and I have a feeling I'm gonna **** this up. :O(

First thing is first.. a look at an irrational emotion when it comes to the opposite sex; fear

There are many reasons for feeling this fear, and once upon a time, it was critical to your survival, but today, this sense of fear is completely irrational, and as a man of science, i'm sure you'll make note of the rationality behind all this..

1. Fear of her having a bf, and having his bf and his friends giving you a piece of their mind!

2. Fear of her rejecting you, and then her going back to her friends (the remainder of your mating options) and telling them that you did not qualify as a mate; therefore rendering your chances of reproduction to zero!

3. Fear of you not being good enough for her (preventive of 2), and of you doing something dumb that will "mess-it-up" (again, preventive of 2)

The reality is, that the first two fears are irrational in today's day and age:

1. When you hear about two people getting married, you get a feeling.. you feel happy.. even if those people are not you.. even if you don't even know them.. the concept of marriage is a happy one.. it's a social "wedlock" that shows that two people are going to create children, raise them in a stable environment, for the benefit of humanity.. This is good for everyone, so as social creatures, we want to encourage this.. as much as possible.. this is why we feel happy when people get married, judge people or get sad when people get divorced, and feel angry towards people or even guilty of going after someone who is already in a relationship leading to marriage.. if society DIDN'T have a problem with this, there would be a lot of counterproductive friction in the entire mating process.. But you're NOT comming in the way of her and her bf.. you're NEVER triggering that reaction from society.. (directly).. all you are doing is DHV-ing.. being yourself.. it's not your fault if she feels attracted to you.. because it's not like you were DOING anything to put-down her bf or force yourself on to her.. no.. IF (big "if") she has a bf, you DHV & BFD.. and BFD-ing is (indirect).. for all her bf, her friends, his friends, and she knows.. you've always liked her bf, had nothing but "good" things to say about him, and always had his back and "stood-up-for" him.. the only thing that will have seemed to have happened is that SHE grew less and less attracted/connected to her bf.. and more and more attracted/connected to you.. by her own free-will and CHOICE.. which leaves the rest of society off your back.. for as long as you take this indirect approach.. this little issue, is not something you should ever worry about..

2. Unless you live in some village or township of 2,000 people or less.. this fear does not apply.. It definitely doesn't apply in major cities.. Look at your census data, and estimate how many women around your age range you have.. of that number.. take 1% (let's be conservative, let's pretend you're being very picky and won't settle for anything less than almost perfect).. now, for every 3 women.. you can afford 1 rejection.. how many rejections can you afford in total? Wow! Now, invert that.. 1/total rejections you can afford.. How much does each rejection matter? Not that much.. IF (big "if") you miscalibrate, and you encounter something like a rejection, you still have so many other chances for that (ideal 1%).. so think of that number as your chances to learn from your mistakes.. the mistakes you can afford to make.. and learn the most you can from each.. so you don't make it again in the future..

3. This one is complicated.. part of it is taken care of through self-awareness and realization of your own value.. that helps take care of the issue of "feeling like you're not good enough for her".. but there's much more to that.. it's a great first step.. but there are more steps that follow..

[GrkScorp]

I could swear though that she was looking at me a lot and her eyes look like big black buttons....I think she likes me and I have a feeling I'm gonna **** this up. :O(

Calibration & Social Intuition:

- Miscalibration: Men know what this is.. it's ironic that they know what miscalibration is, because you can think of it as NOT knowing what calibration is.. I'm sure we've all had the pleasure of feeling something for someone, and trying to see if they feel the same way.. For a guy, he's largely clueless.. all he can "read" is what the girl says.. which in most cases is not much.. it's either "junk, filler, fake-disinterest, or nothing".. this being the case, it can seem like the guy is trying to throw darts in the dark.. with a blindfold on.. When miscalibrated, imagine a thermometer, a digital one, which will get the temperature right 1/1000 times, just because of "luck".. this creates a huge informational advantage for the girl who is slightly more calibrated.. and it leaves the guy having to make "bold" moves in search of information "how does she feel?"

Example: My friend George, lacks any sort of calibration.. he was telling me about this girl he likes, and how she got back to him and wants to go out.. So they went out.. and on that first date, she was smiling, touching him, laughing, which I told him were all signs to look out for (good and bad, because they could very easily be genuine "unconscious" or fake "conscious/put-on").. She did her little "fake-reach" for her bag, and he offered to pay.. she didn't refuse.. and so they leave and walk by the NJ shore-line overlooking Manhattan.. they have a great conversation, and he feels great inside, this urge to kiss her.. and he thinks "hey, she's been giving me all these signs, she most likely likes me" and so he leans foward.. and gets slapped.. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that".. "George, I'm sorry, you're really sweet, you really are.. and I really mean that.. but I need you more as a friend right now" (don't you love that? I think it's so brilliant.. how they think of these things on the spot.. giving the poor guy this HOPE of something in the FUTURE.. lol)

Anyway.. the tragedy that took place here, and I say tragedy because if you meet George, he really is the biggest sweetheart you'll ever meet.. is that he couldn't "read" her.. at all.. he lacked "calibration"

- Calibration: Mother nature favors women when it comes to calibration.. for more than 12,000 years, they have had to take care of a child.. and needed to listen to their unconscious tell them "get the fcuk out of the quiet forest b*tch and run!".. No.. they don't hear voices.. it's a "feeling".. a gut feeling.. an "intuition".. women who lacked this difference in the size of their amygdala had their child die, or died along with their child.. and so 12,000 years later, you end up with highly calibrated social geniuses.. To add to this, female-female frame games are much more complex and subtle than male-male frame games.. From an early age, girls adapt to a set of social rules and norms which boys are largely unaware of.. "Status", "respect", "authority", and "power" are derived differently in a group of males, than they are in a group of females.. This new world of communication which the male eyes is largely unaware of until much later in life, accounts for 93% of communication in general.. (voice tone, pace, volume, facial expressions, eye movements, blinking, body-language, breathing, heart-rate visable via the neck, proxemics, etc).. Being calibrated to these forms of communication gives one a huge informational advantage! Mainly because, for the most part, these are all unconscious indicators.. so they are more reliable and representative of someone's "true" feelings than the lousy 7% of verbal-context communication..

Improving your calibration:

- Practice, practice, practice.. Go out, observe women interacting.. know when they are playing games, know when they are interested, know when they are pretending to be interested.. know when they are pretending to be disinterested.. know when they are pretending to not notice you.. know when they are pretending to ignore you.. lying, telling the truth, bragging, trying to impress you, trying to make you jealous, trying to get your attention, are attracted to you, are testing you, are thinking about you kissing them, want to have sex, what sexual fantasies they have, etc.. As you get better at reading people.. you'll be able to go from calibration, on to microcalibration (much higher and deeper level of reading people)

- Calibration Training: Get a female friend, sit down.. and play a couple of games.. the object of the games are for YOU to get a better feel of your intuition.. think of it like a color.. red, blue, green, yellow, pink.. whatever works for you.. and as you get a feeling.. let that color grow inside of you.. let it scream to you.. learn to listen to it's message..

(like/dislike): Ask her to describe 5 things that she really likes in detail.. what she likes about them.. and to picture herself with each item.. notice her "vibe" and signals.. every bit of information her body is communicating to you.. calibrate your intuition.. then ask her to think about 5 things she dislikes.. again, calibrate.. now.. ask her about a random object you can think of.. now.. try and see if you can tell if she likes or dislikes it.. don't get discouraged if you are not 100% accurate right away.. it can take a while.. but keep doing it, and making note of your progress.. listen to your intuition, and don't doubt it! don't second guess it or re-think it.. do NOT feel uncertain.. feel absolutely certain.. as you calibrate your intuition, and learn to listen to it, you'll notice that.. when it comes to people.. it's always right..

(truth/lie): again, same thing.. now ask her non-personal questions, and see if you can tell if she's lying or telling the truth.. (this one is fun).. remember, the point is to calibrate!

(attractive/unattractive): download a list of celebs.. and ask her to pick a guy she likes.. then ask her to describe what she likes about him.. what movies she liked him in.. how it would feel like to meet him.. etc.. while you're doing this.. calibrate.. then ask her to go through a social-networking site and pick out an unattractive guy.. make note of her reactions.. (In the field.. you'll be calibrated enough to know that women do NOT find you unattractive.. AND, when women DO find you attractive)

(red/blue): make her think of the color red for 2 minutes.. a house, rooms, stuff, all red.. 2 minutes.. calibrate.. then nothing.. clear her head.. and then blue.. calibrate.. and then let her clear her head.. and think of either red or blue, but tell her to NOT tell you.. just let her think of one color.. let it grow in intensity and become more vivid.. try and see if you can get a feel for what color she's thinking of.. (what you're 100% accurate in this game.. you're ready to naturally transition into microcalibration "cold-reading")

[Only-virgins]

Wait, that is all great and stuff but it doesn't help. I'm gonna see her tomorrow and don't know what to say!