60 day he-tox

[HeartIsAching]

Believe it or not I get hit on more when I go into a store with my unwashed hair up in a ponytail, no makeup, glasses, and wearing sweats.

I believe it. Most women think that men are lying to them when we say we prefer you that way - we're not.

[IndiReloaded]

no, I wouldn't say men are "easily intimidated." More like we are wary of a woman who comes across as high-maintenance

Is there *anyone* you won't argue with? My post point was 'moot' (except I gave a great rebuttal you can't answer), Haxan's experience, now Smackie. Vash in the other thread.

Seems to me that *you* have the issue here, CMM. Just saying.

[Call Me Maybe]

Truth be told, men prefer a woman who is confident enough to let her natural beauty shine through. Women who invest so much time, money, and effort into dolling themselves up usually have some insecurity with their appearance or are looking for a rich man to spoil them. Men pick up on this

[Call Me Maybe]

Is there *anyone* you won't argue with? My post point was 'moot' (except I gave a great rebuttal you can't answer), Haxan's experience, now Smackie. Vash in the other thread.

Seems to me that *you* have the issue here, CMM. Just saying.

I wasn't even arguing with anyone, lol. You seem to be the one with issues b/c you keep following me around

[IndiReloaded]

You weren't?? Sure you were, LOL, this is too funny.

Anyway, Vash, what day are we on now?

[Call Me Maybe]

<sigh> how sad that a middle-aged woman who claims to be mature is following me around and constantly trying to provoke me to a response

[love&otherdrugs]

I try to keep myself busy, but it doesn't always work.

I don't count your ex's text message as contact; you had no emotional interaction with him, right?

No, no emotional interaction or reconciliation. In fact, I was quite thrown off because the Thursday before his text he said on the phone "It's obvious that neither of us are ready to talk on be friends yet, as much as I want that. It's just too soon; too raw. So you're right, we both need some space. I'll contact you when I think we are both ready to talk." (Ha, putting the ball in his court to be the one to have the liberty to contact me, what a jerk!)

So, when on the third day (Sunday) he texted me saying that, I didn't respond at first because I was so confused, and didn't want my emotions to get the best of me. I waited an hour, and was very direct with him when I responded, just telling him I didn't need his play-by-play on whether or not he was on Facebook or any other website. I didn't need him to confirm or explain his actions to me.

So, I guess the no speaking has gotten easier for me, mostly because I know I'd be upset with myself for breaking it. My BIGGEST trouble is still checking up on him and trying to see what he's up to.

[smackie9]

Truth be told, men prefer a woman who is confident enough to let her natural beauty shine through. Women who invest so much time, money, and effort into dolling themselves up usually have some insecurity with their appearance or are looking for a rich man to spoil them. Men pick up on this

But that is the fault of men (and women) stereotyping on first impressions. This was obviously later discovered by the few that were brave enough to approach me and find out what I was really like.... to their surprise I wasn't what they had thought. Hopefully a lesson learned that you can't judge a book by it's cover.

[IndiReloaded]

No, no emotional interaction or reconciliation. In fact, I was quite thrown off because the Thursday before his text he said on the phone "It's obvious that neither of us are ready to talk on be friends yet, as much as I want that. It's just too soon; too raw. So you're right, we both need some space. I'll contact you when I think we are both ready to talk."

Your completely right about this. This text is a complete jerk, controlling move on his part. You were thrown off b/c its not the kind of text that someone caring (even an ex) would send. But, if he was caring, he wouldn't be an ex right? See the paradox?

Why don't you just text him back saying "Asshole. Don't call me, b/c I'll never call you." I think you are prolonging your pain to be friends with a guy like this. Kicking him to the curb and rejecting his control might be a blessing for the next women who stumbles upon him.

[misombra]

What a dick.

[haxan]

Believe it or not I get hit on more when I go into a store with my unwashed hair up in a ponytail, no makeup, glasses, and wearing sweats.

It must be all those ripe, animalistic female pheremones you're giving off there smackie !

Damn, makes it seem like having an encounter with you would be like taking on a feral minx

[love&otherdrugs]

Your completely right about this. This text is a complete jerk, controlling move on his part. You were thrown off b/c its not the kind of text that someone caring (even an ex) would send. But, if he was caring, he wouldn't be an ex right? See the paradox?

Why don't you just text him back saying "Asshole. Don't call me, b/c I'll never call you." I think you are prolonging your pain to be friends with a guy like this. Kicking him to the curb and rejecting his control might be a blessing for the next women who stumbles upon him.

Haha well I wish I could've said that! Unfortunately it's been about 2 weeks since that text, so it's a little late, but I'm just going to live my life how I want and not worry about him. I don't expect a call from him at this point, and I'm starting to be OK with that. I have my moments where I miss him, but you're absolutely right, he has been cold, detached, and a complete jerk. I don't want to be friends with him at this point, because a real "friend" wouldn't treat someone they care about this way.

You all are so helpful! Seriously. I get so consumed and overwhelmed sometimes in my own thoughts that I start to relapse into panic and "want him back" mode, but everything you all are saying helps me stay strong!

[haxan]

I get hit on more now than I ever did when I was in college. Whowouldathought?

I wasn't attacking you personally. I was speaking in jest. Besides, if you do get out, unless you're in your late 30's, I doubt your paying much attention to the 40+ crowd.

What I quoted above reinforces what I'm saying. And you'll continue to get hit on more as the years go by. There's simply not enough quantity of quality men for the quantity of quality women that become single again in their 40's. That should make you happy, not defensive.

Like Indi stated, the majority that seek their freedom (file for divorce) are women. The men are the one's who devolve physically and/or emotionally. It's not that I want it one way or the other, wish it was even for everyone's sake. That's what I see out there on a day to day basis however. It's the reality.

[haxan]

Just saying.

I think this is becoming your signature line

[haxan]

Believe it or not I get hit on more when I go into a store with my unwashed hair up in a ponytail, no makeup, glasses, and wearing sweats.

Same but for the sweats and unwashed hair, lol. I think it makes one look more 'real' or approachable.

I have to say, is there anything cuter than a girl in glasses?