60 day he-tox

[vashti]

Hey vashti, how's your he-tox going?

I'm back to day 1 of complete disengagement, but I'm being strong today (mostly by keeping myself busy). Haven't communicated in 7 days (broke NC with an email, as you know).

How many days has it been for you? You're an inspiration to me! I love how strong you are and how committed, it's giving me reminders to continue to be strong myself :-)

Ugh, such pressure. I am not strong at all, and my level of commitment changes with the time of day.

I have seen this man twice (but not slept with) since I posted this thread, which I think is rather miraculous considering my sex drive. Quite honestly, the lack of sex is profoundly depressing. It's been a month.

I miss him, but I am not initiating contact. I am trying to stay focused on the fact that my daughter is looking at another surgery, and in the scheme of things, he doesn't really matter.

Also, I invited another man to a New Year's party I am attending.

[love&otherdrugs]

Ugh, such pressure. I am not strong at all, and my level of commitment changes with the time of day.

I have seen this man twice (but not slept with) since I posted this thread, which I think is rather miraculous considering my sex drive. Quite honestly, the lack of sex is profoundly depressing. It's been a month.

I miss him, but I am not initiating contact. I am trying to stay focused on the fact that my daughter is looking at another surgery, and in the scheme of things, he doesn't really matter.

Also, I invited another man to a New Year's party I am attending.

Don't feel pressure! I'm sorry if I pressured you. You may think you're not strong, but you're doing MUCH better than I am, so there's someone weaker than you out there (Given that I'm back to Square 1, Day 1, and still thinking about him in the back of my mind DAILY)

I know what you mean about the sex... I just realized it's been over a month since I had any, and realized that's why I was so anxious to go out and meet a guy at a bar (so glad I didn't, though!). That's something I wanted to ask: do rebounds help you? I drunkenly made out with a man on the beach last night, and I just felt dead and empty inside the whole time. During and after the kissing. He complimented me, massaged my feet after a long walk, and everything, but I just kind of mumbled thank you and stared straight ahead. Some women have told me that "getting out there" and just experiencing my freedom of being single is supposed to help, but I wasn't expecting to feel that empty.

Good luck with your daughter, I am sorry that she is facing another surgery You are a good mom to be focusing your attention on that, and I'm sure she thinks the world of you.

Good for you for not initiating contact, though! That is the ONE and only thing I've been strong with is not caving and sending an email or anything. I've kept myself away from that temptation. It's good to know I'm not alone in the missing area, though.

You don't seem excited for the New Year's date? I think that is an awesome step for you! I don't even HAVE a potential guy I could invite to an event! I will be going solo, with one of my girlfriends. I guess she would be my date? Haha. That seems to be my draw these days: solo or with a girl friend.

[IndiReloaded]

no offense hun but I'm not interested in what happened. I was just commenting that you two seemed like a perfect couple per your words

Go away, you religious idiot. Stop trying to pick a fight. You're way outclassed and noone asked your opinion b/c you are still a twit.

[vashti]

I was so anxious to go out and meet a guy at a bar (so glad I didn't, though!). That's something I wanted to ask: do rebounds help you?

I don't know. They say the best way to get over one man is to get under another, but I can't see how feeling/acting like a whore would make me feel better, so I'd stay away from bars if I were you.

I have known the man I am going to the party with for 7 months, so he's not a stranger.

Kiechi - I've been away from my ex for 2 years now. I think having a kid with chronic medical issues creates a lot of stress, not to mention the whole step-family thing. What can I say? Things fall apart.

CallMeMaybe - your post seemed deliberately provocative. If that is not what you intended, perhaps you should consider apologizing?

[IndiReloaded]

I don't know. They say the best way to get over one man is to get under another, but I can't see how feeling/acting like a whore would make me feel better, so I'd stay away from bars if I were you?

This^. Self-respect above all else.

[fearoflove]

Meeting new guys definitely helps for me. You don't need to be a whore/slut or sleep with every new guy you meet but meeting new people and dating again really helps (at least for me). I have been on a dating site and meeting new guys 2 months since my breakup and it is nothing less than awesome. I would be depressed if I decided to stay home and cry all day.

But it really depends on the woman. Do what feels right to you. If you don't want to meet new guys and want time to heal your broken heart because that works for you then do that.

[love&otherdrugs]

I don't know. They say the best way to get over one man is to get under another, but I can't see how feeling/acting like a whore would make me feel better, so I'd stay away from bars if I were you.

I have known the man I am going to the party with for 7 months, so he's not a stranger.

Yeah I agree. I have some friends who do that, and they're always in even more broken pieces the next morning than they were the night before. I'm glad I stopped myself before I did anything I'd regret. I agree with IndiReloaded, Self-Respect before anything else!

Good luck with the NYE party and the date! I think that's great :-)

[IndiReloaded]

Enjoy yourself, Vash. You deserve it. Post pics!

[Call Me Maybe]

Go away, you religious idiot. Stop trying to pick a fight. You're way outclassed and noone asked your opinion b/c you are still a twit.

please don't ruin vashti's thread with your bigotry and childish tantrums. I never mentioned God in my post. So there was no need for you to call me a "religious idiot." Also, Kiechi was the one who brought up your divorce - not me. If you're offended for someone bringing it up, then get mad at him. I didn't say anything mean spirited towards you. On the contrary, I even commented that you two complemented each other. I understand you must be bitter about your divorce but there's no need to take your anger out on me

[Call Me Maybe]

vashti, stay strong. I won't pretend to know what you're going through. However, I can say that you're an inspiration to a lot of single mothers

[IndiReloaded]

please don't ruin vashti's thread with your bigotry and childish tantrums. I never mentioned God in my post. So there was no need for you to call me a "religious idiot." Also, Kiechi was the one who brought up your divorce - not me. If you're offended for someone bringing it up, then get mad at him. I didn't say anything mean spirited towards you. On the contrary, I even commented that you two complemented each other. I understand you must be bitter about your divorce but there's no need to take your anger out on me

Go away gnat. Noone asked you to comment, noone cares what you think. Kiechi, Vash and I have been posting here for ages, he didn't mean it to be a chode but you did. Quit backpedaling b/c noone cares what you think.

[Call Me Maybe]

Go away, you religious idiot. Stop trying to pick a fight. You're way outclassed and noone asked your opinion b/c you are still a twit.

Go away gnat. Noone asked you to comment, noone cares what you think. Kiechi, Vash and I have been posting here for ages, he didn't mean it to be a chode but you did. Quit backpedaling b/c noone cares what you think.

such wit and vocabulary. Clearly I'm outclassed

[HeartIsAching]

Quite true. The sad part is that you don't recognize that. Oh well.

[Kiechi]

Apologies if I started a shit storm guys.

Indi/Vashti - Thanks for keepin' me in the in-crowd ladies! I don't post here regularly enough, so stay lucky you both beautiful souls, ye!

[CoolStoryBro]

In-crowd, lol.