Random thoughts thread

[megvoh]

lol^

I cannot sleep and its well after 3 am here. Going back to try again.

[TheEvilJester]

Sometimes, when I have that problem a couple things that can help me are to either read something or to watch a quick TV show. For me, more often than not if I am having trouble getting to sleep, it is because I can't stop my brain from going a million miles a minute. I'm thinking about something (or 5 million somethings) or I'm nervous/anxious about something, or whatever, and I just can't get my brain to shut off.

So, distracting it with something else helps me to disengage and get that mental quietness I need to drift off. Not sure if that will help in your situation.... Well for future reference anyway since it is probably too late now. LOL! But, something to try if you have problems again.

[megvoh]

Did you have a nice work trip, do any sightseeing? [MENTION=71386]TheEvilJester[/MENTION].

Unrelated quote lol
Just food for thought for other men in relationships.



Also why is Smackie9's account " Dead " now? Anyone else spot that?

[TheEvilJester]

Oh crap! I guess I better answer your question honestly, then. Apparently you know already. I was gonna try to lie to you and say I DIDN'T kill anybody on my trip. ....Eh, come to think of it, I shouldn't have bothered anyway. You'd have seen right through that.

Kidding. My trip was for business, so most of the time was taken up by my conference. However, I did actually have some evening time to myself here and there. I did quite a bit of fun stuff. Saw a couple shows, walked the strip, etc. I even happened, by accident, onto Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. I've always wanted to see a wax museum. You could almost call it a bucket list item for me. I had honestly completely forgotten there was one there, and whilst walking the strip I just found it by accident. So, I got to do that.

I also did a zip line. It was quick, but still very fun. Plus, one of the evenings, the company running the conference had actually booked an evening event for us which included a trip on this giant thing that basically looked like a ferris wheel, but instead you were inside an inclosed globe. It went really high above the building so you could see the whole city all around you.

Overall, the trip was AMAZING for me. I would absolutely love to go back. Thanks for asking, Megvoh.

[megvoh]

Hahaha LOL

Wow, your trip sounds the best and Vegas, baby lol Never been but looks like a great place to enjoy life. Did you gamble any? See any big celeb singing shows?
Zip lining, omg would love to try that too.

Did you pose with any wax person from Madame Tussauds? Who looked most life like to you?

I don't know what job you do but damnnnn if you get perks like trips for business to Las vegas it must be a good job.
Happy you had a good time.

[TheEvilJester]

Oh, I LOVE my job. Though, trips are kind of rare for me. This was really for a conference that was relevant to my job. It's the first time I've really traveled for business, beyond just somewhere that was nearby already anyway and I just drove there.

I did take pictures of and with many of the wax figures. I learned, though, that I SUCK at taking selfies. LOL! So I gave up on that and only took them with the specific celebs that really interested me. The others, I just took pictures OF them rather than WITH them.

I don't drink, and am not really interested in gambling, so you'd think I'd be bored to tears in Las Vegas.... but I LOVED it. I didn't have time for any musicians, but took in a few shows. (Penn and Teller, for example.) I did gamble ONCE and successfully left with more. I was able to turn ONE dollar into TWO nickles. LOL! See, I left with more. From one thing to two things.

I found a Ghostbusters slot machine and figured I'd give that a try. One spin later and I'm like "Yeah... this is not for me." So, that was ALL I gambled. LOL! But, there is so much to do even if you don't drink or gamble. I want to go back to do some of the shows/things for which I didn't have time.

[megvoh]

You've never drank alcohol, or found you didn't like the results of it when you did? Spare your liver and wallet by never drinking
I don't care about gambling either, I feel bad for those with the addiction to it. Penn and Teller sounds like a good fun time. Do they take people on stage to help them, they are the magic guys where one never speaks, right?
LOL on Ghostbuster slot machine, was that off the old movie or new one coming out? Did you see any weddings there, they have lots of elopement chapels, I think.

[TheEvilJester]

I have actually never touched a drop of alcohol, never done any drugs, and never even smoked. I was "straight edge" before I even knew it was a thing. LOL! To be honest, I figured when I turned 21 I probably would try alcohol. I'd go out with some buddies and give it a try. I turned 21.... and that just never happened. I really had no strong desire to try alcohol.... so at some point I just decided why bother? Not only that, but how many people can go their whole life and say they've never messed with ANYTHING? No drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc.? So, it is kind of something I am proud of in myself.

Penn and Teller are, in fact, the comedy/magician duo where Penn talks but Teller does not. I've always really loved their act. Seeing it live in person was so awesome. Plus, after the show, they both waited around to take pictures and give autographs for any fans who wanted. So, I have a picture with each of them to remember it forever.

The Ghostbusters slot machine is based on the original movies. I'd heard it existed, but never seen it in person, so I made it a point to go looking. As a matter of fact, I think I did see one bride and groom walking around at one point. I wonder if they were married by Elvis. LOL! I mean, they were in Vegas, after all.

I even had some interesting revelations about myself during the trip. Good things, I think, but not ones I think I'll be able to put to any good use anyway. Oh well. But, overall it was a lot of fun. Plus, the conference was really informative and I learned about some things my company currently does not use that I would like to see us use in the future.

[megvoh]

Good for you for avoiding, drink and drugs. Not many can say the same.
That's a cool memento to have ( the pic of yourself with Penn and Teller) did you frame it and display it yet?

What revelation did you have about yourself from your vegas trip? Does it involve opposite sex, or just you in general? Is it too private to share?

[TheEvilJester]

Actually, it is two pictures. One with Penn one with Teller. I haven't gotten around to printing them yet, but I just may.

I wouldn't say my revelation(s) was/were too private, but I am kind of reluctant to talk about it just because I hate to sound like a broken record. I do not want to be one of those people folks think are always just whining on and on about the same crap. That most definitely is NOT me.

Though, since you ask, you are actually on the right track. It had to do with the fact that I passed up on talking to a couple women I kind of wanted to talk to because I sort of didn't see the point since I was practically halfway across the country from my home. Since it isn't like there would be any point to ask them out, I just didn't bother to even go out of my way to chat with them. Later, I was kicking myself because, though I still didn't think I should have asked them out (what would be the point when I was so far from home) I felt like I should have at least made an effort to talk to them, even if just for the sake of practicing talking to women who interest me. Hell, what better way to practice than on a trip like that? If it didn't go well, chances are I'd never see them again in my life anyway. If it went well, it would be good experience to apply back home.

The revelation came in realizing I was upset with myself, not simply for being too shy to talk to them (which I pretty much have been my whole life) but for realizing I actually COULD HAVE brought myself to do it this time. I know that doesn't sound like much, but for me that was HUGE. Used to be it didn't matter anyway because I'd have never been able to, but this time I fully believed I could have.

Again, fat lot of good that does me anyway. These days, I feel too lost in the darkness to ever be saved. I think it may be too late for me.

[megvoh]

Aw, you should have talked to at least one or two of them, even though across your own country least in the same country and people can make LD work in talking, video messaging and each taking yearly trips and common trips to keep up the emotional, physical attachment/attraction it doesn't always fail.

But least you felt you should have so maybe that desire can push you more during so at home now? I think the revelation is a big deal because it tells you you've got it in you to try and you recognize it now where before you pushed it away and figured why take the chance, this time you only didn't because you felt it wouldn't go anywhere not because you feared any rejection.

Never too late, tell yourself that, and keep telling yourself. Thanks for sharing.

[TheEvilJester]

I'm trying. It's just, these days, too hard to see any hope. What's worse, when I DO see it, it only makes it worse because it feels like it always winds up being false hope. I'm a survivor. I've been through so much and I always come out of it stronger. Nothing has ever broken me and I don't think anything ever will....

But it does me no good. What is the point of surviving if I am only surviving to suffer yet more pain? Yet more disappointment? Yet more isolation and loneliness? If it ever felt like it was leading to something, it would make it worth enduring it all, but it never does. It feels like I get dangled little carrots of hope here and there only to have my heart ripped out over and over again. I hate the world for doing that to me, and I hate myself for continually allowing it to happen.

It's kind of like that revelation. I realize that instead of passing on talking to those women because I was too shy.... I passed simply because I didn't see the point. ...Meaning I actually COULD have brought myself to talk to them. ....But it feels pointless because, even back home, it feels like that will never lead to anything anyway.

Don't worry. Not like I'd ever do anything rash like taking my life. It's simply not in me to give up. ....Thing is, these days that is starting to be part of the problem. I refuse to give up.... but I can't see why.

Anyway, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yammer on and on about my crap. Everybody has their own problems. I'll be fine. That's my lot in life. Life rips me to shreds, but I survive. I heal, I become even stronger.... and then life rips me to shreds again. An endless cycle, I guess until I die or become the second coming of Chuck f'ing Norris.

[pcmaster]

Also why is Smackie9's account " Dead " now? Anyone else spot that?

Shes banned cause she was too rude.

[TheEvilJester]

Smackie rude? That doesn't sound like Smackie to me. Especially such to the point that she got banned for it. I can't say I saw what she may have said/done to cause that, but I'd have to think you should have to do something pretty rude to get banned.

[Jffs24]

Shes banned cause she was too rude.

I've never seen her be rude, argue, ruin a thread or troll --so I don't think that was why her account got stamped DEAD! Maybe it was for past forum conflicts or the link advertising her own love advice she had.