And yet again...

[Cain]

There is nothing wrong with wondering the cause of a break. You have to take her word for it...that she is not happy with herself. Your questions to her are also considered expectations....something she said that she cannot give 100% of right now. You are demanding answers now for your own benefits. When you asked her whether she see a future with you...she can only say: yes, no, maybe, or lie on any of these (and she will probably answer based on your emotions...piss her off enough and she will say no when she really wanted to say yes). Show some character.You have to decide whether you will accept what she is asking of you now or not. You cannot demand she behave your way. Accept what she is asking of you or don't.

I just said a few posts up that I was going to accept it and drop the relationship talk.

[IndiReloaded]

cain, you're messing yourself up with this behavior.

she wants a break from you. meaning she doesn't want to deal with you for a while and all your drama.

the emails. the calls. the constant interrogation and pushing her to give you answers that you want to hear are pushing her away.

you're ****ing it all up. sorry.

I agree. She's gonna dump you Cain. I would have already. You aren't truly respecting her request for space. Its all about you. Pushy, insecure git. Your talk about being mature is just that.

If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.
--Lao-Tzu

[lesa]

I'm going to laugh when you fail at this relationship, numbnuts.

My nuts are only numb because your mom wouldn't stop sucking on them.

Ooo nice comeback, hehe. Boys be good.

[Cain]

I admit that I've reacted badly in some respects regarding this situation. But for any of you to say that you never react in ways you wouldn't normally to an emotional situation is absolute shit.

I've already said that I'm going to give her the space and drop all relationship talk. There's no need to continue to harp on it.

[IndiReloaded]

She didn't give you a non-ambiguous answer. You're still on hold. What's so urgent? Has a billionaire made a proposal to you and right now you have to decide between love and money? I suggest you wait till the end of September, and if you don't get back together, feel free to break up permanently with her.

This is the most sensible attitude to take. You are analyzing your relationship to death, Cain. You are killing it w/too much attention. Do you overwater your houseplants, too?

You said before you were gonna give her space & then ended up making all these demands that she explain. And you are still doing it.

Of course, this gal lets you get it on w/o a condom & has to agree that if she gets preggers, even tho she's in grad school & is only 22, that she needs to be cool w/being a mommy at this stage.

I have a feeling Cain, that you have a bad case of Wishful Thinking Syndrome. That a lot of what you THINK she agrees with is only her agreeing with you to keep the peace. I would bet my retirement fund that is what a lot of her needing a break from you has to do with. You exhibit all the classic signs of a developing control freak. You could use some counselling yourself, IMO. Maybe use the break time to sort out some of your own shit, hmmmm?

[Cain]

I'm just going to start copy/pasting my responses since we're backtracking here.

I admit that I've reacted badly in some respects regarding this situation. But for any of you to say that you never react in ways you wouldn't normally to an emotional situation is absolute shit.

I've already said that I'm going to give her the space and drop all relationship talk. There's no need to continue to harp on it.

[lesa]

I admit that I've reacted badly in some respects regarding this situation. But for any of you to say that you never react in ways you wouldn't normally to an emotional situation is absolute shit.

I don't feel that anyone is saying they have never reacted emotionally in any situations. In fact, I believe many are talking to you from their own experience or observations. We really are trying to help you. If not, we would be giving you information for you to unknowingly sabotage it. Instead we are giving you information on how you were unknowingly sabotaging it.

[anachronistic]

My nuts are only numb because your mom wouldn't stop sucking on them.

Your girlfriend is going to be sucking someone else's, with that attitude, Mr. New & Improved.

[Cain]

Your girlfriend is going to be sucking someone else's, with that attitude, Mr. New & Improved.

Won't be my problem.

[anachronistic]

Won't be my problem.

... if you're going to be a jackass. You're making a mountain out of a molehill here. It's okay, you can take the vicegrip off your scrotum and wait a week or two.

[IndiReloaded]

In-see-cure, chelovek. Work on it.

[Cain]

Do we have to keep going over this?

I... am... waiting... months... for... this...

Look, it was an emotional shock. As time goes on, things get better. As each hour passes, I get over it more and more.

As of right now, I'm shutting my emotions down. I'm not letting them run me. I'm going to wait until I don't feel like waiting anymore.

Ok? There's not much else to add. Not sure why you all keep rehashing what's been said.

[lesa]

Ok? There's not much else to add. Not sure why you all keep rehashing what's been said.

Because you were not getting it and probably still not. You will find out when she or you contact.

Reread the first 5 pages of this thread. We already gave you this info. Really we gave you info within the first 2 pages yet you still did not listen and here you are again. Now, we are responding to you again and you say you finally got it. Classic hardheadedness response.

[IndiReloaded]

Good (to Cain's last post).

Oh, just to change the subject *slightly*, food for thought on this. More longterm.

There ARE women out there who will understand your tendency to be dominant in the relationship & won't freak out over it. Tho I do think you have some aspects of a controlling personality, I don't necessarily think you need to try to completely change your behaviour about it.

Her acting like this IS a problem longterm if it continues. Its what I said: do you really want to be having her threaten divorce every time you two get in to an argument? I've seen couples like this & its a shit way to live. You need stability, Cain, its evident in your posts. You require a partner who, when they say they have made a commitment, they really, truly mean it.

You can't force that from someone. You can force them to *say* the words, to make you happy, but fundamentally that attitude (deciding that something simply IS) is something that has to come from within them. You have it. I'm not convinced, based on your history, that your GF does.

This discrepancy in attitude will be a future source of angst for you, Cain. I promise you this. So, just make sure you go into this w/your eyes wide open on this. You'll be stubborn and say you'll deal, but just do yourself a favour and think about what I'm saying. There ARE women out there who think more like you & will give you the reassurance & stability that you need to really, truly grow from the marriage experience.

FWIW. Take care hun.

[anachronistic]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWwBdY1Yglg"]YouTube - Kitten afraid of remote control mouse[/ame]