In Praise of Traditional Women

[ecojeanne]

i feel like crying boohoo

[IndiReloaded]

My heart goes out to all you lonely guys and gals. It really does. I admire a lot of our modern advances, but I hate how the more social aspects of life are disappearing. Family and friend gatherings, simple outings, that kind of thing. We lose trust in each other b/c we don't interact enough to get to know each other, so its not surprising people react the way those girls George mentioned.

If we were all in Vancouver I'd invite you all to my house for beer and a bbq.

Do any of you remember Leo Buscaglia? He was a prof at USC, dept of education I think, was his official subject area. But he was very concerned about the growing disconnect b/t people. He used to go around giving random people hugs and wrote several books about love.

This world needs more people like him.

[misombra]

Nah

In my "real life," I love women very much. I will tell you this much: I have more respect for my radical feminist friends than for most other women. At least they are not hypocrites.

When a woman is balanced in her intellect, sexuality, and femininity, she is truly radiant and demands respect. However, when a woman is befuddled in these things, and most often expresses this befuddlement in the public realm, it is truly an ugly thing...and often does become the basis of wickedness, as would be the case for all creatures, male or female, beast or human.

There are several women on this site that, while I may or may not agree with their expressed thoughts, do demand respect and I have often expressed respect or gratitude towards them.

My earlier post and its content reflects a time in my life where I was unaware of the befuddlement of my gfs of the era. When I realized that I was with individuals who despite physical beauty were actually quite unattractive due to their befuddlement, I ceased to date that type of person. Hence, a near decade of searching for someone who is balanced and internally beautiful.

Capiche?

to be honest no, i don't capiche.

[CAM]

to be honest no, i don't capiche.

And there in lies the problem. I'm not surprised, though. Very few women of today could be counted on to break out of the mold in which they were raised and trained...the bubble in which they've been told all kinds of falsehoods. And, the comfort zone that they now rule while all the time saying, "finally" we have achieved equality in society...

You don't even know that you are the new Ruling Class, do you? Ha! It is sort of like coming across the millionaire who thinks of herself as "just a middle class person." Yeah, right.

Indi's right. It is a different world and one that is very confusing.

I'm just a nice guy who wants to share his life with a nice woman who isn't a hypocrite, isn't befuddled, who isn't an insecure loud harpie, and one who has brains, class, and femininity. There's tons of us out there, but the only one currently who actually sees my good qualities is the female maintenance worker in my office.

She's a sweet Hispanic woman who works for everything she's got, but totally uneducated and certainly not worldly like the bright and shiny professional woman who would be considered my superiors (aka my equals...but, I wouldn't want to lump them in with little old me, right? Perish the thought.)

A world upside down. No, I'm not at all surprised you don't get it and don't take that as anything more than objective fact--no slight intended.

[ecojeanne]

in fairness we're not infants, it's only confusing if one lets it be. i have to say that in my 20's i was a bit like the deer in the headlights, i didn;t know what the fck was going on so i did nothing, i dated no-one. now it was a choice i made because i grew up in a bubble, i was in the country away from the city and then i spent most of my teens in boarding school. i had absolutely no idea what i was heading into and that's why i froze.

now being older like most sane people in their 30's onwards they realise the value of real self confidence without involving the ego and the fact that the unknown is not really a big fckin' deal because everything is easy to cope with. there is no unknown anymore-none that matter anyway. many people/men here are making judgements on women who really may just want a hug but are scared and haven't reached the point where they realise people aren't friggin interested in what they are doing or look like because are themselves more concerned with whats going on with them. if like indi said more people knew their community better this really wouldn't be as bad as it is with the younger crowd and men whining about it and trying adjust to what they THINK they 'know' what women are asking them to be. could it be that men are trying so hard that they can't figure one end of the reality to the next. women really aren't as complicated as you men make out on here.

[Aeradalia]

He used to go around giving random people hugs and wrote several books about love.

This world needs more people like him.

Warn me about people like that... or better yet, warn them about me.

The last stranger who hugged me unexpectedly ended up with a quick elbow to the stomach... it was out of reflex and I felt awful about it, but at the same time, they never warned me or asked for permission to touch me.

I barely tolerate obligatory hugs from friends, family, or acquaintences. Aside from less than a handful of people, I think I could safely go the rest of my life without a hug, handshake, pat on the back, or some other infringement on personal space.

How people derive comfort from the touch of someone they barely know is a mystery to me.

[IndiReloaded]

Warn me about people like that... or better yet, warn them about me.

The last stranger who hugged me unexpectedly ended up with a quick elbow to the stomach... it was out of reflex and I felt awful about it, but at the same time, they never warned me or asked for permission to touch me.

I barely tolerate obligatory hugs from friends, family, or acquaintences. Aside from less than a handful of people, I think I could safely go the rest of my life without a hug, handshake, pat on the back, or some other infringement on personal space.

How people derive comfort from the touch of someone they barely know is a mystery to me.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyfKol26sS8"]YouTube - Born For Love with Leo Buscaglia pt 2[/ame]

[Mish]

My heart goes out to all you lonely guys and gals. It really does. I admire a lot of our modern advances, but I hate how the more social aspects of life are disappearing. Family and friend gatherings, simple outings, that kind of thing. We lose trust in each other b/c we don't interact enough to get to know each other, so its not surprising people react the way those girls George mentioned.

I agree Indi^^ Before there used to be a greater sense of community. People from different walks of life and with a myriad of different personal problems would come together and the collective psyche would counsel the individuals and restore their perspective and balance. Now people are more inclined to seat behind a computer screen typing orders and "personal wisdom", one way communication open to bias and misinterpretation. Some 60% of what the person wants to convey is lost in the confines of the cyberspace. Is it any wonder that alienation today is such a big problem.

[IndiReloaded]

This is what I was thinking. Communities used to give the same kind of advice we give here. Village elders or whatever. But, b/c they were face-to-face and had at least some investment in the community you could be a bit more sure of their advice.

I think I'd be the slightly dottie older married lady who would hang herbs in her window. Working up to fully cranky and likely to thwack you w/my cane in another couple decades or so if I thought you were being needlessly silly.

Have you guys seen Lars and the Real Girl? I loved that movie. Only in a small town could you get that kind of support. Funny, touching movie for those who haven't seen it. I thought so, anyway.

Anyway, Mish, you don't fit the selfish urban profile. You seem okay w/going out on a limb to meet new people.

[Aeradalia]

Thanks for the video Indi... I'm not opposed to seeing the positives in life... and neither do I doubt such a concept... I'm just wary of the duration of such positive things. Also, depression tends to shroud everything in a dismal fog, and makes maintaining happiness more of a chore, when really it isn't... or at least... shouldn't be.

He's a very uplifting sort of guy (or was, as I think there were a few comments on some of his other videos that alluded to his passing away)... but I still wouldn't be inclined to be hugged, no matter how jovial a person seems to be. To be touched would ruin whatever comfort they had brought...

[IndiReloaded]

He died in the 90s, so I'm dating myself by remembering him. Sure, his method is a bit out there, but his message is a good one: complaining about not getting what you want doesn't get you what you want. Its gets you complaints. Putting yourself out there (open arms) gets you what you want.

He's got a great question for people who complain: What do you live for?

Once you know that, just do the things that will get you closer to that, and the rest will fall into place.

If you want to love a woman, then you need to love women.

Its basically what CharlieBoy has been saying; he seems to understand this instinctively.

Dalia - if you watch (or read) more of LBs stuff, he talks about impermanence. Not in the zen buddhist way that is all trendy these days, but its the same message. Nothing lasts, this is a truth. So, you can enjoy it while it lasts, and then be miserable about it. Or you can be miserable while it lasts, and then miserable after its gone. I'm paraphrasing b/c I read his books years ago, but that's basically it in a nutshell.

Frankly, it just doesn't make sense to be miserable. This isn't about hugging; I'd be taken aback if a stranger hugged me also, but you should understand why you are so scared of it.

[misombra]

i like men who hunt and fish and gather wood and start fires.

oh yes, the traditional man.

[Junket]

I used to be a boy scout if that counts for anything.

[misombra]

it does!!! boy scouts are hot. and their cookies are good. i like those mint ones.

[Junket]

it does!!! boy scouts are hot. and their cookies are good. i like those mint ones.

What?

Cookies?

I wasn't a brownie!

We sold hoagies in Boy Scouts.

That's a real man's food.