B/F is incredibly selfish...so confused...

[girl68]

umm talk about it. you obviously haven't communicated.

[Gigabitch]

You're far more patient than I have ever been. I think you should toss his ass out. If he were interested in making it work, he wouldn't be all over town trying to get in everybody else's pants.

[PrettyPerson]

I have spoken to him about it in as delicate a way as I know how, so as not to bruise his ego too much.

Basically I told him that without some EFFORT on his part in bed, it's just not gonna happen.

So, if he doesn't put in the effort, should I take this as an indication that he is unattracted to me, lazy, both, ego-bruised or simply unwilling to try and make things work?

[PrettyPerson]

You're far more patient than I have ever been. I think you should toss his ass out. If he were interested in making it work, he wouldn't be all over town trying to get in everybody else's pants.

Yeah, having a baby will do that. She's only three months old though, and I'm completely out of patience now.

[lilly1185]

And if you just feel like being mean and not trying to be cordial, you can also let him know that you're 32 years old and no grown ass respectable woman is going to get turned on by a lazy, video gaming, teenager-wannabe who can't even act like a real father half the time... That won't give him any warm fuzzies, but hell, sometimes you just gotta tell the truth! lol

LOL Holy crap that sounds exactly like my son's father. Do I know you?

I would go to work, come home, have to care for baby and clean up the mess that accumulated in the room because he couldn't find time between games to clean up dirty diapers or hold him for feedings.

And edit for editing sake: You can give him a chance, but don't hold out hope. Sometimes, getting AWAY from the father is better. Even if he is good at financially supporting him, he could emotionally or mentally stunt him.

[girl68]

I have spoken to him about it in as delicate a way as I know how, so as not to bruise his ego too much.

Here's the mistake. He still thinks "ahh well no big deal". I would say "listen: you want me to f**k your brains out? How about turn on the romance! How about for once stop thinking about just your dick and give my pussy a little loving? I'm going to let you think about that, when you're done thinking come see me."

[PrettyPerson]

Here's the mistake. He still thinks "ahh well no big deal". I would say "listen: you want me to f**k your brains out? How about turn on the romance! How about for once stop thinking about just your dick and give my pussy a little loving? I'm going to let you think about that, when you're done thinking come see me."

Hahahaah, nice.

[lilly1185]

Yeah, having a baby will do that. She's only three months old though, and I'm completely out of patience now.

Some women aren't even fully HEALED after birthing three months ago. It's no wonder you aren't interested, your body was all blown out of proportion and screwed up on hormones. Not to mention you're probably the one getting up for feedings, changings, baths, ect.
If he isn't helping out physically with the baby, gaming all that time, and expecting business time, he's a tool. Drop him in the lake.

[girl68]

Laugh if you like... but I'm dead serious. Try that approach.

[PrettyPerson]

Laugh if you like... but I'm dead serious. Try that approach.

Oh, I know you are!

Okay, so...now there's just the fact that sadly at this point, even if he tried, I'd probably shut him down before he can even get started. With so many other things that disgust me about him lately, the reality is that even if he were trying to please me for once, I still don't want him sexually. It's a combination of the bar-hopping, video gaming, lying, laziness and being a poor father.

I don't know how to get it back unless he were to do a 180 or spontaneously throw down some SERIUOS romance. Perhaps I could have a drink and watch some porn until just about anyone would do....yeah, pathetic.

[PrettyPerson]

Some women aren't even fully HEALED after birthing three months ago. It's no wonder you aren't interested, your body was all blown out of proportion and screwed up on hormones. Not to mention you're probably the one getting up for feedings, changings, baths, ect.
If he isn't helping out physically with the baby, gaming all that time, and expecting business time, he's a tool. Drop him in the lake.

I'm breastfeeding, so yes, the feedings are mostly my job for now, unless I pump milk. But I find that even when I do, I really don't feel comfortable leaving her with his lazy ass. What's most disgusting is that when I do, he always finds a way to **** something up so that I won't WANT to ask him to watch her. Nothing could piss me off more.

He is a ****ing tool, there's not a lake big enough to handle all that bullshit in one dump.

[girl68]

soak yourself in misery... OR do something about it. Ultimadum time, come to counselling, spend time with your kid, clean up, and put some damn effort into your relationship or you take you and the kid and walk. Period.

I will bet you will be walking out the door in a month.

[PrettyPerson]

soak yourself in misery... OR do something about it. Ultimadum time, come to counselling, spend time with your kid, clean up, and put some damn effort into your relationship or you take you and the kid and walk. Period.

I will bet you will be walking out the door in a month.

Thanks for taking the time to respond. I don't want you thinking that your good advice has fallen on deaf ears, I know I'm negative and angry.

As far as ultimatums go, I thought this was a relationship no-no?

A month is pretty optimistic, I give it a week or two tops.

[girl68]

Wow, kind of sounds like you're already walking.

I hear ya I'd be at the end of my rope too! Ultimatums generally are a nono- but when a guy (or gal) is being an idiot like your guy... and has been talked to a bunch of times but still fails to see the light, yes an untimatum is in order. It is "last resort".

[doppelgaenger]

Does anyone else remember this guy? I do.