In love with a girl who has a BF

[ThornBird]

Well, first of all let me thank you all for your replies. Like I would expected, your advices differ from one to another. Afterall, life is not black and white but shades of gray.

I've managed to get her into a "deeper" conversation last evening. I found out that she's not quite happy with her relationship and that her bf doesn't care that much anymore. This is nor good or bad ... i know from my previous relations that when you start to care less she suddenly cares more. Women are not exactly logical when it comes to love matters. I also found out that he is her first real bf (knows him since highschool) so it makes sense why she's still staying with him tough she's not happy anymore.

Someone said here to take the dive and go confess her everything. I hope you were just sarcastic. Everybody out there who dated more than 1 girl knows doing smth like that is just plain suicide.

Also, somebody else said that I idealize her. I don't, that's exactly the point. I think she's far from perfect. She has many flaws but she acts completely natural, that's what attracts me most about her.

Anyway, I've made up my mind. She's not married, she does not have kids so I'll go after her. I'll play so hard that even Clark Gable would be jealous I know i can have her if I really put my mind on it. Thx "Grayer" for the motivation.

I'll keep you posted.

[IndiReloaded]

Equally congratulations by jumping to a conclusion before you knew the situation. Which I can't be bother to explain to a stranger on a forum.

This is the guy who was trying to accommodate a married woman looking for an affair. Two peas in a pod. Anything else?

[Pectabyte]

Yeah how serious is her relationship? Just because she has a BF doesn't mean shes off the table. However note that if you pry her away from him it stands to reason some guy can pry her away from you.

Above all else DON'T tell her your feelings. I'm sure she would love to hear how someone who isn't her BF is in love with her. This will only make her loose respect for you. Instead learn how to attract women.

[IndiReloaded]

Monkey Branch theory. That needs a sticky too.

[Pectabyte]

Monkey Branch theory. That needs a sticky too.

Yeah its an unfortunate truth. Women won't let go of one branch till the hey a grasp on the next.

[tooxshort]

I like that idea ... "Monkey Branch Theory" ... never heard of it, but makes total sense.

[IndiReloaded]

I like that idea ... "Monkey Branch Theory" ... never heard of it, but makes total sense.

LOL, Shorty. And just where do you think ideas come from? People like us, sweet. You'd be surprised how fast ideas travel once released to the internet, its incredibly viral for certain things:

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/broken-hearts-forum/26975-why-do-some-people-feel-need-jump-one-relationship-another-2.html#post421340[/url]

[Mish]

Yes. I draw the line between married and not married.

Would you draw a line between marriage where the couple were together for one year and a relationship where the couple have been together for three years?

[vashti]

Would you draw a line between marriage where the couple were together for one year and a relationship where the couple have been together for three years?

No. I draw a line between married and not married, with the exceptionof when there are children involved.

[Mish]

I draw a line between married and not married,

So you would advise for someone to go for another person's partner regardless of how long they had been together, but you wouldn't advise that person to do the same if another person's partner was married and had been together for a little time only?

[vashti]

Good lord mish, haven't we already been over this time and time again? I don't believe BF/GF relationships are the same as being married. Period. You are free to believe otherwise.

Sometimes I feel like I am reading Green Eggs and Ham when conversing with you.

Would you buy it here or there?
I would not buy it here or there.
I would not buy it anywhere.

Would you buy in near or far?
Try it! Try it! Here they are!

Would you buy it in a tree?
Would you buy it from my knee?

I would not buy it near or far
I would not buy it in a car
I would not buy it in a tree
I don't believe in it, you see?

[carl1222]

Good lord mish, haven't we already been over this time and time again? I don't believe BF/GF relationships are the same as being married. Period. You are free to believe otherwise.

Sometimes I feel like I am reading Green Eggs and Ham when conversing with you.

Would you buy it here or there?
I would not buy it here or there.
I would not buy it anywhere.

Would you buy in near or far?
Try it! Try it! Here they are!

Would you buy it in a tree?
Would you buy it from my knee?

I would not buy it near or far
I would not buy it in a car
I would not buy it in a tree
I don't believe in it, you see?

I've got your back on this one, Mishanya.

While I agree that there is a fundamental difference between a marriage and just a committed boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, they both share one thing ... COMMITMENT ... you know, a PROMISE! If you want out of a marriage, you get a divorce. If you want out of a relationship, you break up. Anything less is cheating. In a way, I understand cheating in a marriage more easily ... a marriage is complicated to undo. But getting out of a relationship just requires one conversation.

As to the "monkey branch" theory: Those who follow it have two awful qualities ...

1) selfishness
2) cowardice

Remember what you are getting when you become that second branch!

Carl.

[vashti]

Just out of curiosity carl, are you married? I usually find people who equate BF/GF with being married are usually unmarried people. (Not always, but usually.)

[carl1222]

Yeah its an unfortunate truth. Women won't let go of one branch till the they have a grasp on the next.

Years ago, a girlfriend of mine described it this way ... "It's easier to get out of a relationship if you have another one to go to."

At the time, I was her second branch ... but eventually I became her first branch.

Carl.

[carl1222]

Just out of curiosity carl, are you married? I usually find people who equate BF/GF with being married are usually unmarried people.

I didn't equate them, vashti ... except that they share commitment. I think that marriage is a profoundly higher level of commitment but that decent people honor commitments or withdraw from them if they no longer can.

As to my personal situation ... I was in between. I was engaged years ago but my relationship was ended by an act of God. That's all I'm going to say on that.

Carl.