How to get rid of her one and for all?

**hobby** · 05-06-13, 09:39 PM

michelle23, it is obvious that you are a woman and you don't know how men think. We NEED sex. Something in our head tells us "go for it, get her, you must try her ...". It's not the feeling of sex, it's the feeling that you put your penis into another woman. I don't know how to describe it differently.

Counselling? By who? A shrink, who's 2x older than me but has had 1/3 less woman in his life?

I believe that a good healthy relationship can be build from sex. "Using people for sex" is always reciprocal. In my case I don't think my sex buddies make me a favor - I frequently think I'm making them favors. I don't promise them relationships, love etc. We know what we are doing and why we are doing it. It's just it make me feel even more empty ...

**michelle23** · 05-06-13, 09:59 PM

not all men think that way-not all men will settle for any bit of meat they can get. i know plenty of guys who dont wana bang a woman there not emotionally connected to. plenty come on here everyday. my bf has never had a one night stand or a f**k buddy-never wanted to even though he could have. hes confident, really good looking, fit, loadsa muscle, very loyal etc

your just one man-you cant speak for all of them.

exactly-makes you feel even more empty-its not good for you.

**hobby** · 05-06-13, 10:24 PM

Tell me how many women did your friend have in his life and how many times he was disappointed? I was in his position of a nice, loyal, friendly guy and all I got was exploitation, lack of experiences and disappointment. I thought women were gentle, nice creatures, who need lot of love and affection. I got a woman I really loved - 6 months then I discovered she was the biggest bitch possible in the world. She was cheating and playing with me all the time. Then I became bastard and women started to fly over me like bees on honey.

Are you attracted to your friend? Would you go into bed with him? You say he's good looking, confident, loyal ... Nice guys don't have women - they have female friends. You know what my "loved friend" would say if you asked her about me? Everything you said about your friend! But that doesn't help me.

Now you tell me .. What's right?

**TLe** · 05-06-13, 11:25 PM

Originally Posted by hobby

Tell me how many women did your friend have in his life and how many times he was disappointed? I was in his position of a nice, loyal, friendly guy and all I got was exploitation, lack of experiences and disappointment. I thought women were gentle, nice creatures, who need lot of love and affection. I got a woman I really loved - 6 months then I discovered she was the biggest bitch possible in the world. She was cheating and playing with me all the time. Then I became bastard and women started to fly over me like bees on honey.

Are you attracted to your friend? Would you go into bed with him? You say he's good looking, confident, loyal ... Nice guys don't have women - they have female friends. You know what my "loved friend" would say if you asked her about me? Everything you said about your friend! But that doesn't help me.

Now you tell me .. What's right?

Maybe you have just met the wrong women... Nice, gentle, affectionate women who need love do exist :-) me for example

**michelle23** · 06-06-13, 01:28 AM

Originally Posted by hobby

Tell me how many women did your friend have in his life and how many times he was disappointed? I was in his position of a nice, loyal, friendly guy and all I got was exploitation, lack of experiences and disappointment. I thought women were gentle, nice creatures, who need lot of love and affection. I got a woman I really loved - 6 months then I discovered she was the biggest bitch possible in the world. She was cheating and playing with me all the time. Then I became bastard and women started to fly over me like bees on honey.

Are you attracted to your friend? Would you go into bed with him? You say he's good looking, confident, loyal ... Nice guys don't have women - they have female friends. You know what my "loved friend" would say if you asked her about me? Everything you said about your friend! But that doesn't help me.

Now you tell me .. What's right?

the guy im talking about IS my boyfriend. thats what i meant by bf-not friend lol. were together 5years.. you cant let a few bad experiences make you think ALL women are bad. weve all been burned, ive been cheated on in the past. did i lose all faith in men? no. did i become a bitch and treat men like crap? for a few months yes but i got over it. you should be more positive. being a bastard will just make you hate yourself even more

**michelle23** · 06-06-13, 01:33 AM

and most the nice guys i know are in healthy relationships. youd prob be in one yourself now if you didnt completely change who you are when the bitch cheated on you and turn into an ass who just uses sex to stroke your ego

**searock** · 06-06-13, 02:31 AM

Originally Posted by hobby

Something in our head tells us "go for it, get her, you must try her ...". It's not the feeling of sex, it's the feeling that you put your penis into another woman.

This is how it is for you, not for all men (nor for the majority of men).

You think that you need to have sex, and to "have" lots of women, in order to be a successful man. This just means that you are deeply insecure and seek confirmation outside of your own self. Other people, external situations, are not what make you successful or fulfilled. Sleeping with many women doesn't make you a "better man", it doesn't make more people respect you and it doesn't make you feel better about yourself (you said so yourself). You need to change your mindset, and you will start attracting other types of people and women... people who aren't insecure/codependent and so on.

**michelle23** · 06-06-13, 03:26 AM

well said searock

couldnt have said it better myself. we should have our own show like the jeremy kyle show haha. just kidding

**hobby** · 06-06-13, 05:59 AM

I'd say that majority of single, young, healthy men is looking for sex with more women. The fact, that they don't want a relationship (which they probably have a very good reason why), doesn't necessarily mean that they don't want to be around women (to have sex with them). Of course the thing is connected with inner security, search of confirmation - i.e. with ego - but you can't claim that young, attractive men are single just because they are emotional mess and they can't get together with a proper woman. The male-female thing is human perpetual. The male-female-family is (was) a modern society relationship, that does not work right for everybody. Polygamy is and was present all over the human history and still is. Until today, I wasn't that pretty sure that my self-esteem is a problem for me not having success in love. I just thought I haven't met a woman that is so damn wrecked as I am.

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 06-06-13, 06:01 AM

Why don't you just kill her?

**searock** · 06-06-13, 06:08 AM

you can't claim that young, attractive men are single just because they are emotional mess and they can't get together with a proper woman.

I never said this. I said that the reason you think you need sex with a lot of women means that you are insecure and seek confirmation outside of yourself.

**michelle23** · 06-06-13, 06:09 AM

i firmly believe that a confident person with high self esteem has high standards and is willing to wait for someone who ticks all the boxes. and with good qualities, personality, looks etc-they are not waiting for long.
if you settle for scraps-thats all youll get.

**searock** · 06-06-13, 06:10 AM

Originally Posted by michelle23

i firmly believe that a confident person with high self esteem has high standards and is willing to wait for someone who ticks all the boxes. and with good qualities, personality, looks etc-they are not waiting for long.
if you settle for scraps-thats all youll get.

I agree, but I think hobby was talking about guys who choose to be single because they want to sleep around/"have fun" (which is not his case, he would like to be in a relationship so he isn't single by choice).

**michelle23** · 06-06-13, 06:12 AM

not all single people are single coz they are an emotional mess lol. its generally the single ones who would f**k anyone are

theres nothing wrong with having standards, self respect, dignity, pride, knowing what you want and going getting it without settling for second best in the meantime

**hobby** · 06-06-13, 06:24 AM

searock,

That is not completely true. My intentions are not to be in relationship with this woman. I know that she is a type of woman, that get away right when they get their chance. It would be nice to "raise her up", but I'm not sure it could work. I want to be around her as a man is supposed to be around a woman. I don't want to be her friend, this is what drives me crazy. I want to cancel her but I'm somehow too attached to her. Nonsense .. I'll get trough it.

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