Bothered by a guy (loooooong!!!)

[Mish]

I am for no contact and asking management to give him a formal warning if he misbehaves at work.

[qwertz]

well i text him back saying 'no, that is not a good idea' and didnt hear anything back.

Then this afternoon i get an email saying basically what he said in the text and that he has been having emotional breakdowns and anger management issues..and hes been advised to see a doctor as he wants to go on anti depressants!!
He went on to say that it stems from having feelings for me and nothing developing and if i can find it in my heart to allow something to develop?!!!!

I havnt replied..what the hell am i meant to say to that!

[girl68]

you are not being stern enough!

I don't think that's a good idea to him means: I can convince her to believe that it CAN be a good idea.

My advice is to tell him to his face: "John, in regards to your text last night, the answer is absolutely not, this is your last answer if you contact me again with anything not directly related to work I will be foreced to take this to HR" *walk away* you should not give him any time to answer or respond.

Be firm so far you've just let him down nicely, time for a different approach.

[CocoChanel]

Uhm... I've been in a situation like this before and he turned out to be the stalker type. he was following me around and everything. You really need to have your friends support you on this because they are not telling him that you are not interested. He has all the signs. ALL OF THEM. Get you some Mace.

[qwertz]

I think i need some lessons on how to be a bitch

Im off work tomorrow so wont see him thank god..hes basically blaming me for him being so ****ed up..i feel like it is my fault but i havnt led him on in anyway..at least any normal person wouldnt have felt led on :S

Coco i really dont think hes dangerous..weird? yes, but dangerous? i dont think so.

**coco, im havin my hair done in similar way to the way you suggested tomorrow

[girl68]

don't be a pussy. threaten to do something about it IE threaten his job.

He might not be dangerous but he could stalk the shit out of you.

[Cbrider]

Is there some super secret forum you all hide in from the rest of the world?

He's 32 and going through his first hard crush is my guess. A little late out of the gate, but out of the gate no less. I think you are unfortunately just the object of his affection.

As for the dangerous part.....honestly, you never know what someone might do these days.

You seem to find a lot of god damn weirdo's and problems for being on your little island. I think you need to find a new continent.

[all alone]

He is being very naive is he thinks a relationship will suddenly make everything better. I understand how he could think that way however, i thought sort of like that at one point in time (not saying ive been in the same situation as him, because i havent) but i could see where his train of thought is coming. He should go see somebody and get that stuff out of his system and analyze the true root of whatever is preventing him or inhibiting him. Its probably personality related as opposed to chemical imbalance and anit depressants always sounds like a quick fix. He would most likely be better off with some cognitive behavioural therapy.

Whatever he does though, its obviously out of your control. Like i said previously thought, cut ALL contact with him, it will be the best for both of you. In terms of his e-mail, dont reply he should seek help, because then he may think 'if i get help, she may be interested in me afterwards'. He needs to do it on his own terms. Maybe a mutual friend should suggest it and help push him towards making such a decision.

[Heratriumphant]

Have you told any of your mutual friends what an obessive creep he's being?

If you haven't it's time. You need people to act as a barrier between you, and he needs a reality check from someone other than you.

Show someone the email, the text, the letter, explain how he lied to get you out alone, tell them about the touching and weirdness.

He needs help dealing with this and one of your mutual friends would be the best person to give him that help.

[lovedoctor007]

I feel sorry for him, he tries to use his girl mates as girl friends, he is a very desperate man, just ignore him and he will go away, or you you care for him as a friend, help him to find himself a girlfriend that is right for him

[qwertz]

Is there some super secret forum you all hide in from the rest of the world?
He's 32 and going through his first hard crush is my guess. A little late out of the gate, but out of the gate no less. I think you are unfortunately just the object of his affection.

As for the dangerous part.....honestly, you never know what someone might do these days.

You seem to find a lot of god damn weirdo's and problems for being on your little island. I think you need to find a new continent.

Lol whats that meant to mean?..Not many problems- just this one

send him a text with the URL of this page in the forum. let him have a read.
nasty i know, but he is obviously not even friend material anymore, so put him straight. he might start using the boards and get some tips for himself.

Hmmm, no im not that mean and i dont want him bothering me on here!

Have you told any of your mutual friends what an obessive creep he's being?

If you haven't it's time. You need people to act as a barrier between you, and he needs a reality check from someone other than you.

Show someone the email, the text, the letter, explain how he lied to get you out alone, tell them about the touching and weirdness.

He needs help dealing with this and one of your mutual friends would be the best person to give him that help.

Yes i have, they know everything...for a while they thought it was hilarious...they dont anymore but i can understand they feel awkward so im trying not to involve them too much.

He hasnt contacted me since, so hopefull he has got the message now

[Primo]

Forget about him, how'd the hair turn out?

[thrillaveza]

hmm if he gets out of line or it's getting worst, be ready to file some sort of restraining order. that's kind of creepy. i mean if he's 32 and hasn't been with anyone then there might be a reason why that happened...obviously whether you weren't asserted enough, you still said it in stone that you aren't interested in him and he still is trying to get at you.

[Sanctuary]

It's not your problem but that dude sounds like he might go crazy one day and start shootin people up if he doesn't get a gf.

Anyway, I agree with what girl68 says - you need to channel your inner bitch.

[qwertz]

Well hes working in the same area as me today..which he wouldnt have to do only through his own choice. i saw him and he tried to talk to me..i just carried on walking and pretended i didnt hear him.
He has a face like a smacked arse today and has been moaning about me to one of our colleagues.

Im soon gonna find my inner bitch me thinks.