Arguments shouldn't get to the point of verbal abuse or violence. That is destructive behavior. Communication is about talking, listening, trying to understand how your partner feels and then trying to fix the issue. Thats how healthy relationships work and without positive communication-the relationship will break down or be on and off or full of lies and cheating or just plain unhappieness overall.
I know many couples do shout at each other sometimes but to me its not healthy.
Its also good to phrase things in a positive way. instead of saying "you never listen to me" say "I feel like I am not being heard right now, let me finish".
See the difference? The first sounds like an attack and makes the other person defensive whilst the second will usually shut them up and let you say your piece. Again "I feel like something is wrong between us, you seem unhappy, is there anything we could talk about now to improve the situation for both of us as I am sensing a lot of hostility and indifference, whats the problem"?
And let her talk. Try to stay calm even if she gets b**chy and hear her out before you respond.
Good luck
"Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".