Is trust really the "be all or end all" of a relationship?

[will2992]

Thanks alot vash! Finally someone who see's it like i do!

Like i said she's finally realised the mistake she's made, and wants to take it slow so the relationship works, as do i. She said she only slept with him once to lash out at me (very childish and stupid i know). Luckily i've matured alot and have not let it get to me that much.

Suppose i'll just have to do all i can to show her i'm all hers and go from there...

[Seradin DaCuir]

yes i believe it is also the foundation of any relationship. But what i'm asking is can it be brought back? With my situation, is it really THAT bad to lose all her trust in me?

Brother, here is my situation, and you can decide from there.

I have been married for 10 years this 14th of August. Known my wife for 5 previous. Up until 7 weeks ago, I trusted her 100%. Never even thought for a second if she'd do anything behind my back. Well she did. In a convoluted set of circumstances, both my fault, and hers, she betrayed my trust. If you asked me a month ago could I say for certain I'd want to stay with this woman, rebuild our relationship, and move on, probably not. Today, I can say the smoke has cleared from my eyes, and I see the finish line in the long distance. Why, because I am no longer afraid to be without her, which means I am strong enough to move forward with my wife and pick up the pieces of our relationship and rebuild it. So yes, if both parties in a relationship want to rebuild the foundation which is built on trust, it can be done. But I will caution you. Like I have said here before it is VERY HARD to get back trust once it is lost. Right now I question in my heart some of the things my wife says and does. Something seems out of place it gives me heightened anxiety. That's was misplaced trust does. It takes the heart and mind a good amount of time to get back to that place you were before. It takes a lot of work!

[bluesummer]

I think your gf overreacted, and her whole "I don't know if I can trust you" bit is a lot of unnecessary drama. So you texted some girl eight months before, what did you really do to deceive her? Did you lie about it? Doesn't sound like it. She's being a drama queen.

Ok,I realize you're in love with this girl, but do you really need to put up with this shit in a relationship? If it were me, I'd say HELL no.

[will2992]

I think your gf overreacted, and her whole "I don't know if I can trust you" bit is a lot of unnecessary drama. So you texted some girl eight months before, what did you really do to deceive her? Did you lie about it? Doesn't sound like it. She's being a drama queen.

Ok,I realize you're in love with this girl, but do you really need to put up with this shit in a relationship? If it were me, I'd say HELL no.

I didn't lie about it, i just didn't tell her. Simply because at the time it was seemed pointless as it meant nothing, and then because i forgot about it (again because it meant nothing)

The thing is she has realised her mistake and admit going overboard with the situation but now doesn't quite believe everything i am saying

[Raze]

If the trust is gone, then the relationship is over. Sorry.