Would you date a slightly overweight girl?

[Lite]

You know, gym rats tend to be attracted to gym rats. They also tend to be self-absorbed, narcissistic, and shallow.

Do yourself a favor, and find a guy that isn't like hugging a wall of bricks. He will likely be more stable, appreciate you more fully, and will like you for exactly who you are.

[Jerome]

I personaly would date a slightly over weight female, I would date a very over weight one and I would date a very slender one, it's what's on the inside that count's.

[Indignant]

i've dated overweight females.

[ladiesman247]

i have dated 'slightly overweight female' but in my veiw there has to be a lil bit 'wobble' cury gils are attractive. i dont relaly go for like proper thin girls i feel like id break them! lol

So yea i would date one

[starbuck]

I'm confused also as he loves to point out "gross" pictures of women with cellulite and I cringe thinking well that's what my legs look like too.

This would turn me off a guy personally. How shallow and high school of him.

He sounds like an asshole.

[misombra]

he sounds like an insecure little wee wee.

[LoveHurts09]

sorry i could be bothered to read all the posts but maybe it's not the look but the attitude that puts him off? being overweight normally means lazy and for some1 who enjoys looking after themselves this can be a massive deal.

[hohol]

oh come on guys let's be honest if you were in a party you probably will try to talk to thin girls not fat ones well i think most guys will do that (well i do the same)so please don't treat guys of shallow being since they can't guess what's inside each girl

[starbuck]

He's not shallow because he has a personal preference for dating a certain body type, no. He's shallow and petty for making fun of what he sees as other people's physical flaws.

Cellulite is natural. There's nothing "gross" about it. Having worked on photo shoots, I can tell you that even gorgeous models have it (it's just abrushed out).

Women are made to feel bad about it so that people can sell creams, end of story.

[fthog]

he sounds like an insecure little wee wee.

Insecure? I don't understand how that applies here. If anything he sounds more like someone with solid self confidence and worth, very much secure, in fact.

[Lite]

Insecure? I don't understand how that applies here. If anything he sounds more like someone with solid self confidence and worth, very much secure, in fact.

If he were secure, he wouldn't work out in such a narcissistic manner. If he were secure he wouldn't make fun of fat people.

[fthog]

If he were secure, he wouldn't work out in such a narcissistic manner. If he were secure he wouldn't make fun of fat people.

Oh right... well I admit neither of those factors imply to me how "secure" someone is. I take it that I have a poor understanding of what the term really means.

I had a look at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_insecurity (I can't post links) to try and clarify it, and it still strikes me as misused in this case.

How does he work out? I didn't see much written about that. And are there ways to work out that are not narcissistic?
I ask because fitness pursuits are a major hobby of mine, and I always considered myself to have excellent self confidence and "security"... but now I worry that actually maybe I'm insecure!!! Should I stop exercising altogether, or is it just *some* forms of exercise that generate (or result from) insecurity?

[Lite]

I ask because fitness pursuits are a major hobby of mine, and I always considered myself to have excellent self confidence and "security"... but now I worry that actually maybe I'm insecure!!! Should I stop exercising altogether, or is it just *some* forms of exercise that generate (or result from) insecurity?

It is one thing to be fit. It is another to go out of your way to be verbally judgemental about another person's looks.

It isn't some forms of exercise, it's why you exercise. Most people exercise to A) feel better about their own looks because they're insecure. Not because they're hugely concerned about their overall health.

I exercise, I train martial arts. I do not want to be, nor am I "ripped". I don't spend 7 days a week in the gym. I find ways to incorporate exercise into my everyday life where I can, so that I don't have to go to the gym.

If you read the original post, the man typically dates "Barbie" types and the relationships don't last that long. He goes out of his way to talk about how gross things like cellulite are. He probably goes off on stretch marks. Both of which are naturally occurring things in many women as they age. Hell, I'm not fat and I have stretch marks.

Generally most gym rats I've met are not there for their health. They're there because they want to look good, and they feel everyone else needs to know that they think they look good.

[fthog]

It is one thing to be fit. It is another to go out of your way to be verbally judgemental about another person's looks.

Indeed, very different things - completely unrelated to each other.

It isn't some forms of exercise, it's why you exercise. Most people exercise to A) feel better about their own looks because they're insecure. Not because they're hugely concerned about their overall health.

I exercise, I train martial arts. I do not want to be, nor am I "ripped". I don't spend 7 days a week in the gym. I find ways to incorporate exercise into my everyday life where I can, so that I don't have to go to the gym.

I see. So do you mean it's certain factors that are "bad" reasons for, and ways of, working out - right? The ones I take from that are:
> Wanting to look better from exercise
> Actually looking better from exercise
> Spending 7 days a week in the gym (how many is acceptable?)
> Going to the gym at all? Rather than working out at home.

Whereas more morally acceptable reasons/ways are generally the converse of those?

My reasons for exercising do include how it makes me look, as well as supposed health benefits, being physically stronger and more able, and primarily because I simply enjoy the act of exercising in the ways I do.

Does my having other reasons outweigh the embarassing fact that I care about how my body looks?

If you read the original post, the man typically dates "Barbie" types and the relationships don't last that long. He goes out of his way to talk about how gross things like cellulite are. He probably goes off on stretch marks. Both of which are naturally occurring things in many women as they age. Hell, I'm not fat and I have stretch marks.

Indeed, again unrelated to his interest in working out, though.
I don't have much of an issue with that behaviour being a "bad" thing. Though as it happens I would reject the label of "insecurity".

Best not to hypothesise about other things he "might" do, though.

Generally most gym rats I've met are not there for their health. They're there because they want to look good, and they feel everyone else needs to know that they think they look good.

Yea, I'd say by far the most popular reason for working out is to try and look better. I don't find that objectionable at all, though. In fact I think it's a distinctly honourable aim.
How one conducts oneself, though, is another matter altogether - and you'd be right again to say that many people who have acheived a good body are anything but humble about it.
We don't know how the man in question acts, though. In fact the OP said that he is "usually very down to earth and kind." Pointing out unpleasantries of common body types isn't the sweetest thing to do, sure - but I'd give him the benefit of the doubt here and assume that he's probably a fairly nice guy.

Maybe the OP can give us her view on his personality a bit more?

[brigitte]

To be honest I think he's never seen a "normal woman" in the nude cause he's never dated one. So all his previous gf's have been trim, taught and terrific ( physically anyway).
All the signs are that he likes me and he does encourage me to go to the gym ( which I do) more so for some "me time" or as he puts it "great stress relief ".
I don't think he's particularly up himself rather he's naive about real womens bodies. I guess with a body like his he would attract a similiar fit looking girl, and he does get lots of offers from the gym girlies and I just was hoping if our friendship grew he may be able to see past my physical body and be attracted to other aspects of me.
I guess I'm pre judging that he's not going to find me attractive because of his past choices and because of the comments he makes.
As much as I really like him I would be devasted if he was put off by my body.