freak me out??

[michelle23]

You should stop attempting to impose your will on others regarding this.

My view is valid. She is reading into things he said. I think she wants more and maybe he does too and he has a gf.

[HeartIsAching]

I never said your view wasn't valid, I said you should stop attempting to impose it on others.

[michelle23]

I never said your view wasn't valid, I said you should stop attempting to impose it on others.

lol that is the whole point of this forum. They ask our opinion-we give it.

[HeartIsAching]

Except that you didn't give it as an opinion.

[michelle23]

lol okay then.. she can just ignore me. if she doesn't like my opinion-fine.

[newdax]

i wont ignore it... but i wont really take it into consideration as we are from different backgrounds... what you say does not exist where i live. I think i have discussed it enough before

[michelle23]

lol what doesnt exist where you live? I dont like in some secluded omish community haha or in a cult or convent. haha

[rob1984]

honestly, seems you have been friends from a young age, and having some girl take that away because its socially unacceptable is ridiculous, I'm polish and I know in poland its common for people of opposite sex to hang out.. In canada it all seems taboo and wrong. Yes most people have a hidden agenda, if you are married you should introduce the other person and see how that goes with the SO, for respect.. but any friendship prior to meeting said gf.. the SO has no say.. unless he pursue's them and disrespects them.

[michelle23]

Its common in Ireland too but most people wouldn't hangout one on one with the opposite sex if they are in a serious relationship.

[rob1984]

how is it common, if they do not hang out one on one.

[michelle23]

Wed hang out in groups etc.

[VincenzoG91]

He is freaking out because he already has a girlfriend but he is starting to have feelings for you. Occam's Razor.

[Wakeup]

what is wrong in having a friend of the opposite sex and respecting his-her relationship?
i mean, if you meet someone with whom you share a lot of interests, you will stop meeting up because that person is in a relationship? that's a bit farfetched...
Im not saying im sleeping or even kissing with the person...

If you're meeting one-on-one and you're doing date like activities with him without his gf present, then that is not respecting his primary relationship.

As for your question: When he said "You freak me out" what did you say or do just before he said it?

I'll also ask what your motive is in wanting to know what he means if your friendship hasn't been affected?

He is freaking out because he already has a girlfriend but he is starting to have feelings for you. Occam's Razor.

I'm not saying that that is the reason for sure (without him confessing then it's just speculation, but it is highly likely however and it's exactly what is happening with him and you (just by going by your question alone) and why it's inappropriate to be hanging out one on one and doing date like/bonding rituals with someone other than one's SO.

[michelle23]

My point exactly thank you wakeup

[Wakeup]

And yes, there's a line that you shouldn't cross, but that doesn't mean you can't have a really close friend of the opposite sex.

I think this sums it up, michelle. I agree with your premis for sure but you said "you shouldn't have an opposite sex friendship if he has a girlfriend." (or something similar which led to the "why not" posts.)


Anyway.. Keeping in mind that the line not to cross is to continue to hang out alone and do things together that are the same as dating but just justified by saying hanging out. If you don't change up your opposite sex friendship once in a committed relationship with someone new, there will always be jealousy, angst or apprehension from the SO or emotionally inappropriate thoughts and eventually temptation to see if the friendship will escalate to something more. Just like its now happening with this opening poster.

I've read too many problems with "friends" interfering in the primary relationship even though they don't think they are.