Longing to be loved

[pcmaster]

Thanks Jester I will really need luck not to cum too fast.

Ha ha but seriously man Im going crazy over this girl. I would like to run away from her to feel normal again. Thinking about her all the time. Starting to really like her, shes working today in pizzeria and I was seriously considering to go and meet her there just to talk to her. Still not today but some other day and I will bring a red rose to give her. - Isnt it nice when guy brings girl at work a flower(or flowers)? Planning this as a surprise because I said her today already that I have a plan like that. So will go meet her some other day.

[TheEvilJester]

LOL! Well, I think that is a problem all guys face now and then.... whether they want to admit it or not. Try thinking of baseball or cold showers. ;-)

[pcmaster]

True. But I plan to go down on her first so it wont matter how fast I came. Also shes big girl so shouldnt been too tight. You know that joke when guy had sex for first time - he realized he was squeezing it too tight ! LOL really vagina shouldnt be tighter than my hand. One guy at work said he have met girls so big that he couldn't cum so he had to jerk off.

Anyway on a less sinful note of thoughts I been asking her a lot of questions. I googled it and found 80 really good questions to ask your GF and most of them really been good. Asked her about 40 and planning to continue and think they really helped us to connect. Decided to myself not to talk with her about sex anymore before actually meeting her because sex talk really got me excited emotionally and with that attracted to her too.

Jeez only now started to realize how many chicks are out there for me. With this girl my hope in humanity have been restored and I do believe in love again.

[pcmaster]

Update. Yeah so I really had big plans but not so much courage. Few days ago I had an idea to meet her at her work - at pizzeria. Cause she worked two shifts and had no time for dating. So I told her about my idea and she put on lipstick and was waiting for me. I had already all planned how I would meet her, but that moorning I woke up after having nightmare with her in it. Felt obsessed and not in my skin. So thats why didnt went to meet her because had bad experience when going to meet girl in this state. yeah it was a mistake, I let a past dictate. I should have just do what I was afraid to do. -If you are not doing what you are afraid to you are not growing.

So yeah think it would have been much healthier to meet I think. I Decided not to talk about sex with her before I have spoken to her in real life. Despite that shes very to easy to talk about sex with and likes it.
Feeling in hell now because I like her and cant escape it. Want to feel normal again like before I fell for her. She says shes making guys crazy and now I understand why. She keeps messaging me and the circle continues.

[pcmaster]

So after 3 days of not being able to sleep without sleeping pils I met her to get over it.
Just came from date. It was better than I planed. I gave her a rose at start, we sat and eat in good restaurant, then walked in park and all the time she spoke a lot. Then in the end I kissed her and lifted her up.

Tired of her talking now. Like Dave Chapelle said - woman, play with his balls fix him a sandwich and don't talk so much. Thats how I feel about her now.

[pcmaster]

Bump.

Cmon [MENTION=71386]TheEvilJester[/MENTION] you replied all those topics but didnt replied my topic. I was waiting for days when you hop online.

[TheEvilJester]

My bad, dawg. (The kids are still saying that these days, right? )

I was a little rushed yesterday, partly because I hadn't been on for a few days so there was so much to catch up on here when I got back.

It kind of seems you've been on quite the roller coaster over the past few days with this relationship. First you were saying you felt like she restored your belief in love.... but then you were kind of saying you were too nervous to see her again.

I'm glad to hear you decided to just go through with it any way. Believe me, I know from experience that letting your doubts take the wheel and steer is NOT a good way to live your life. A revelation I wish I would have had a long time ago, because it feels like it is too late for me now.

It's not too late for you, though. As your experience with this gal has showed you. If I am understanding correctly, though, you don't necessarily feel that interested in her anymore, do you? You seem to be saying you've lost interest in her in your most recent update. If that is the case, I'd say you should just be honest with her and let her go. If you are looking for anything serious.... OR if she is, you'd only be wasting time for both of you. If neither of you is really looking for anything serious, then heck, maybe just keep seeing each other if that feels right to you.

But, bottom line, I think you've done well so far. Even if this gal turns out not to really be "the one," at least now you've seen that you do still have a chance of finding true love if that is what you want. Sometimes finding that takes a lot of experience with finding the wrong people first.

Good luck, pc!

[pcmaster]

Well man I dont blame you anymore. It really seems that forum is dying and you have full hands of work.

I think feeling love for her have healed me partially, cause I'm starting to see girls again as more attractive than guys. Before I was seeing guys like they were more attractive than girls they are with.(I'm straight btw).
I was nervous but I kinda handled it when we met. At first after date I was tired from her talking but then I rested. Really like this girl too much. What holds me back that it seems like I didn't leave positive impressions and we still chat but not like before, seems like she replies only because shes a nice girl. Also she wants kids and my friend said today to me not to waste girls time cause she wont get anything from relationship. Too early to talk about kids after only first date but we chatted online for a long time before meeting and I asked more than 100 questions so I know that marriage and kids means a lot to her.
Had a plan to ask her for another date and then go with her out of the country to 5 star hotel. Now I realize how stupid it would be cause I like her a lot already and after more time together it would be harder to let her go. I mean sooner or later I would have to let her go. Besides it wont be easy to make something happen with her without real effort, considering where things are now.

Also she have said early that she wants a strong man who could put her at her place. From first moments when I met her I understood how strong she is. Really she have more experience and stronger character than me. Feeling like a beta against alpha girl.

This girl really was nice to me and a real sunshine, held the conversation all the time. What is the chance that other girls will be as good for shy, quiet guy like me.

Update [MENTION=71386]TheEvilJester[/MENTION] I understand now why you dont like dating sites so much. I created a girls profile today on my local dating site. And really average picture nothing out of this world, 26 years old.
And got like 100 messages from guys in two hours of time. Also 9 virtual gifts. Now for comparison in my real profile I got 1 message per 2 weeks from a girl. So that says something. Now I realize how really lucky I was to have that date and actually get responded my message on dating site.

[TheEvilJester]

I know it sounds like you really like this girl, but sometimes that doesn't necessarily mean it is meant to be. Again, you seem to be saying marriage and kids are VERY important to her.... but you don't want those yourself. So, yeah, it would probably be inevitable that you two wouldn't work, so better to decide that now rather than when you feel more attached.

Again, unless, of course, you both agree that it is probably not a relationship that will last, but one you enjoy exploring for now. That CAN be okay to just enjoy a relationship in the short term as long as both people are on board for that. If you are looking for something that at least has the potential to become permanent, you'd be better off not to even continue with her.

YES, you very well can find another girl who would be as nice to you as her. Believe me, I know how hopeless it can feel sometimes, but don't feel like you have to settle for somebody who you know isn't right for you just so you can have SOMEBODY. First off, you'd honestly be better off alone than you would stuck with somebody who isn't right for you/you aren't right for them. But, more importantly, there IS somebody out there for you who would be the right match for you.... but you won't find her if you're stuck with the wrong somebody just because you don't want to be alone.

You deserve to find the right one. Believing that may be difficult at times, but it is true.

[pcmaster]

Thanks Jester ! I really do not dare to waste this girls time more since she soon will be 27 and she cannot afford waste time if she wants kids.
Right now best thing to do seems to be taking a break from dating and come back when Im ready.

[pcmaster]

[MENTION=71386]TheEvilJester[/MENTION] Help me ! I still chat with the girl everyday but she seem colder. Shes drifting away from me despite that I like her. Not sure what should I say and what should I do to stop it.
I would like to go on another date with her down the road. But if she grew so distant not sure she will want to meet.

[TheEvilJester]

This still the same gal? I mean, didn't you decide that you two were probably not the best match anyway? She may have sensed that herself and that is why she is drifting. I mean, again, we are not talking about a minor little difference that isn't that big a deal and/or could be fixed. You don't want kids or marriage, she very much does. So,if she has started to drift, maybe it is best for you both.

If you didn't want to lose her just yet, all you can really do is keep trying from your end. Unfortunately, when it comes right down to it, though, you can't force somebody to be interested if they are not. If she's decided she needs to move on (I am not saying she HAS, I'm just saying IF), then you wouldn't be likely to change her mind. Why would you really want to anyway? You deserve somebody who wants to be with you just as much as she deserves somebody who wants to be with her. If you ever feel like you need to force somebody to pay attention to you, then they aren't worth your attention anyway.

Good luck to you either way, in whatever you decide to do.

[pcmaster]

[MENTION=71386]TheEvilJester[/MENTION] Yes same gal but we never stopped chatting. We never decided anything. Before we even met she was doubting that I could handle her. So yeah maybe she gathered her mind more now and thats why grew more distant. Anyway I can live without her but having her as a chat buddy just makes my life better. I need someone to chat with everyday, it helps me not to fall inside of black.

[TheEvilJester]

I definitely know how you feel. I've always kind of felt the same way myself. Obviously true love is an ultimate goal (and one I've begun to accept I'll never achieve), but I've also kind of always wanted a girl "best buddy." Like a "kid sister" sort of relationship where we talk and hang out a lot. Kind of like you sometimes see in movies or TV shows (but not the cases where one of them just secretly likes the other as more than a friend). Don't get me wrong. I do realize IF I had that AND a girlfriend, I'd have to be careful not to let that friendship hinder my relationship... but it has always been something I kind of wanted.

So, I get what you mean in wanting to have a chat buddy. I think, though, that it sounds like you both sort of had more romantic intentions at first, and maybe that just didn't quite work out. If you truly are okay with your relationship no longer being romantic, but want to keep her as a buddy anyway, you could always just try. I mean, no guarantee she CAN do that. Some people can't or are unwilling because it can be really hard to go back to being just friends when it has been more.

But, if you are definitely decided on no longer pursuing her romantically, but you still want her as a friend, you could maybe try just talking to her about it. Something like "I know it doesn't necessarily seem like we are the right match as a couple, but I still think we make great friends. I'd love for us to continue to be good friends, but I'd understand if maybe that wouldn't work for you." Something like that.

But, again, that is only if you have decided not to pursue her romantically, AND you are sure you can be fine being just her friend without just holding yourself in relationship limbo because you really want more with her but just know it won't be likely.

Good luck to you either way. I hope you do figure this out very soon.

[pcmaster]

Wow so forum is alive. Was thinking its dead forever since it was down for a week. Jester we should exchange FB in case forum dies.
[MENTION=71386]TheEvilJester[/MENTION] So a lot have happened. I got monopoly but didnt went to board games club but played it with friends.

And still chatting with a girl. Shes like was thinking that I see her as a friend. But I been thinking that she sees me as a friend lol.
Anyway we talked a lot about sex today. I messaged her very little today and she asked why Im so quiet and I said Im feeling down. And she started to chat with me and my mood went up.
So yeah its nice.
I wanted to give her something so I went full retard and ortered a giant white plush bear on ebay. It should be here on december. Till then want to make something happen so I would have a reason to give it to her.
Besides that she says that her apartment doors are always open for her friends. Also she once like wanted to go there at night but I saw it more like sexual and was pissed off that she asks so late. But her girl friends been visiting her late too so now I see that she didnt wanted to have sex but just hang out. Anyway I feel like in friend zone, like she dont see me as a dangerous sexual predator. LOL. But thats not the biggest problem. She a strong girl and used to be alone and have hardenet and it seems like its hard to get to her. I mean she like easly kills my mood when I try something, sometimes. For example when we first met I gave her rose but she said - was it necessary to spend money? And when I said how beautiful she looked at work she showed me her leg that was dirty with soup and asked how she looks now. That like instantly killed my romantic mood. But despite that shes agood girl and I like her personality. When we was in a restaurant that first day she asked waitress for a glass with water where to put rose. And she said that she said to all her GF's that I gave her the rose. So its not that bad but I definetly feel a wall that she have build. She said everytime shes vulnerable someone shits in her soul. Thats why she dont show her soft side.

So yeah, so far I want her to be more vulnerable with me and show her soft side. Also I want to go to her apartment what havent been a problem so far but I want to bang her or at least make out with her first time I visit her. She said she have a cold sore so no kissing for 3 days. Also its crazy that her periods takes 3-5 days, she said no sex during those too. Did you knew that some girls periods last 10 days? Thats crazy.