difference between friends and lovers

[Mish]

i would disagree on over half of those points. for example my best friend and i have been planning our future together for the last 2 years. we are moving in together and plan on if all else fails adopting some kids together, as we're both getting our tubes tied (apparenly having my ovaries removed is unethical)

Do I understand this correctly? You are moving in as partners together who will be looking after kids in a homosexual relationship? Or are you planning to raise kids in the house as two friends without any intimate, passionate or committed relations together?

Note there is a big difference in this relationship and the relationship you two will have with these said adopted children. Although it might be okay to raise puppies or kittens as friends, I personally don't think this relationship would work out as well when raising children.

[brianbtn]

this has always been something i've struggled with:
i honestly don't see a difference between your friends and someone you are seeing. the only difference is the physical aspect. i love my friends, and the one guy i've fallen in love with in my life i love no differently than my friends. i don't have many friends because i am such a picky person and the ones i do have i love with all my heart. you hug and kiss your friends... shouldn't you be able to express that in every way?
the whole relationship thing just seems like some silly convention. i'm not saying everyone should be having sex with everyone but even if it does, SHOULD it matter what you do with your friends if you really feel strongly about them as people... is there really a difference or do we just label it with one.

Alidile... I know how you feel! I love all my friends dearly and would do anything for them! I have a friend that is a female and we are very close... Its like we are boyfriend and girlfriend just without the sex. we hang out.. go to dinner... see a movie... go shopping... I bring her dinner at work on her break... I guess you could say we are like peas and carrots.. We do kiss and alot times sleep in the same bed but nothing major happens except for one night but it didnt go all the way as we realized it might change things between us and we were both fine with that... besides she has a boyfriend and I respect her too much to try and break that up... thats between her and him to decide... But I love her to death... I guess all im saying is I think its natural to have strong feelings for your friends just be careful! because I almost lost my goodfriend when i tried to keep asking her to become exclusive with me...

[xmoongirlx]

The difference between a friend and a lover?

A friend will accept you for who you are.

A lover will try to mold you into something else.

I totally agree!

The love between FRIENDS & ur LOVER are definitely different!

It doesn't need much explanation. It's something very easy to understand. I don't know why ppl are having trouble with this.

YES if we were to label both FRIENDS & LOVER:share,play,comfort,plan,expect...etc

But the love between friends & someone u love is different.

Think about it this way:The love u feel for ur mother VS ur lover!

They are all considered LOVE,friends,family,lover...it's just a different KIND of love towards each!

[alidile]

why the bloody hell would you want someone to mold you.
no dice!

[Gigabitch]

I would also like to mention that your friends will be there when your relationship with your lover ends. One of my friends has been in my life since 5th grade. My boyfriend doesn't like her. I don't care. He may be the love of my life, but she had me first.

[Mish]

i would disagree on over half of those points. for example my best friend and i have been planning our future together for the last 2 years. we are moving in together and plan on if all else fails adopting some kids together, as we're both getting our tubes tied (apparenly having my ovaries removed is unethical)

Has anyone read the above??

Does anyone else find it strange that two friends without a relationship plan to raise adopted children together?

[vashti]

Has anyone read the above??

Does anyone else find it strange that two friends without a relationship plan to raise adopted children together?

I just think of it as a youthful fantasy.

[EmoBlackBelt]

Seriously, raising children isn't some kind of fun hobby/activity that you get together and do with friends. Children should grow up in an environment rich with love and partnership. I would never think of going out and adopting a baby with a couple of my buddys. That's just ludicrous.

[IndiReloaded]

Has anyone read the above??

Does anyone else find it strange that two friends without a relationship plan to raise adopted children together?

Waiting for her reply, Mish.

[IndiReloaded]

We do kiss and alot times sleep in the same bed but nothing major happens except for one night but it didnt go all the way as we realized it might change things between us and we were both fine with that... besides she has a boyfriend and I respect her too much to try and break that up...

DENIAL^.

Brian... repeat after me: "I'm lying to myself. I want to be my 'friends' boyfriend. I am letting her rip my heart out."

[brianbtn]

DENIAL^.

Brian... repeat after me: "I'm lying to myself. I want to be my 'friends' boyfriend. I am letting her rip my heart out."

NOPE! WRONG! We are best friends! Better than ever now! I even have plans with another girl this weekend! Ive known my best friend even before she got with her current boyfriend... I love her to death but ive realized that she doesnt feel the same love other than friends right now... Im cool with that! Maybe later on?? IDK? Who Knows? but we enjoy each others company and we love hanging out together... and I am perfectly fine with that... Just dont ever want her out of my life! You got it half right yes I would love to be her boyfriend but NO she isnt ripping my heart out... we have talked and she and i understand each other now... I just got the wrong signals is all...

[alidile]

brian... you don't just want to be friends with her though.
i think i must've grown up in some totally different world because the idea of the friends raising a kid is not that foreign to me. i have special parents.
i've known her for years and years and years. these are like childhood friends. it's not something that's for sure either. it's more an idea at this point. i'm so crazy like that. i'm talking about if we ended up living together long term.

[IndiReloaded]

NOPE! WRONG! We are best friends! Better than ever now! I even have plans with another girl this weekend! Ive known my best friend even before she got with her current boyfriend... I love her to death but ive realized that she doesnt feel the same love other than friends right now.

Sure Brian. Okay, this is why you two kiss & sleep in the same bed sometimes... and had a heavy makeout session at least once??

If you're really okay w/her seeing someone else & you have feelings for her, fine, that's your choice. But you shouldn't be doing all the stuff for her (like bringing her food to work!) as if you were her beau. Its disrespectful to whoever her BF is & it reminds me of a lapdog. I'm frankly amazed you haven't had your ass kicked by this other guy yet.

If you really want to date her, you should be making her miss you. Stop doing all this nice stuff for her so she can learn what it feels like to be *without* you. Not saying not to be her friend, but stop bending over for her. You're getting screwed. Put that energy into your own GF.

[Gigabitch]

Seriously, raising children isn't some kind of fun hobby/activity that you get together and do with friends. Children should grow up in an environment rich with love and partnership. I would never think of going out and adopting a baby with a couple of my buddys. That's just ludicrous.

Actually, this reminds me of a friend of mine from grade school. Her mom was divorced, her dad was a flake and kind of a deadbeat. It was really hard for her mom to do it all by herself, so she found another mom in the same situation and they bought a house together. The two kids were the same age, and when they graduated high school, the moms sold the house, split the profits and went off to buy their own separate houses.

It worked really well. There was no homosexual relationship going on, but there was a serious level of commitment and cooperation. This doesn't seem weird to me. I think more people should consider it.

[alidile]

YES. that's more what we are thinking about!