A definate pickle (Long)

[DutchBoY]

ok, lil update.....we finished our talk, and I'll sum it up.....have a look and say what you think, here's our chat:

she says:
what happened?
she:
I think I've got a clue
Me:
you happened
she says:
ok
Me:
hahahahaha.......I can already picture the innocent smile you must be wearing now.......
she:
gulp
she:
there aren't a lot of moments when i don't know what to say
me:
iI'm not one to act on impulse that much as you've probably noticed.....but.....I dont know where all these feelings of the past week came from since I already know you for some time. But since last week I simply couldn't distinguish up from down
me:
and im not someone who lets himself be lead by emotions usually, I need to find rational explanations for everything. The problem is I can't find any for last week and am pretty lost.
she:
well, don't worry, most men are over me pretty fast
she:
you'll see the light soon
me:
right
she:
so you'll be over me soon
she:
or that's what I have made myself believe
me:
you need to do something on you self-image or find better excuses for saying: sorry I don't feel the same
she:
I haven't said I don't feel the same.
me:
my turn to be flabbergasted
she says:
I think we doth might feel the same, but you know what my life is like. I'm sorry to say I've lost most of my faith in those kind of things.

we talked some more, and now I truly dont know what to do anymore.....we're now having some meaningless banter.....but should I act, or give her some space. Does she really feel the same or is she just trying to spare me......I'm lost lol

[Tone]

I still go with my last post - just give it time and go with the flow. Don't try to force anything at this point - see where fate brings you.

She didn't reject you - she's just, like I thought, not ready to jump back into the whole relationship game.

[DutchBoY]

well, though I'm pretty much against the whole valentine thing, I'm sending her a letter in which I explain my feelings for her and telling her she just has to take all the time and space she needs; I'll wait. Hope that doesn't put too much pressure on her, but I just want to have it out in the open and make sure the ball really is in her court, so I can't blame myself later for not trying hard enough. Might be a bit selfish, but for now that's the only way I can handle this I guess.

[DutchBoY]

Hot damn what's up with this girl??? I've sent her a letter, of which I know she must have received it tuesday. But so far not one word about it. I just talked to her, or well, exchanged four sentences bacause she's at work, and nothing even indicated she even read the letter. Not a "thank you", or even a "how in the hell could you have written those things". Nothing at all. Which would make it seem she suddenly isn't interested at all.

But now the other thing. My best friend (of whom she was the neighboor, see first post) and I got to talking, and I told him what I've been up to so far and how I feel about her. Now he tells me he saw her at a birthday like a week or smth ago, and she was asking about me, what kind of guy I am and stuff. Now I know the only reason she would ask those kind of things (that was before I made clear my feelings towards her) is if she liked me. But now suddenly she's like all distant

Talking about mixed signals. Can anyone tell me what the hell this is all about? I know she needed time and space, and that's absolutely fine with me, I even told her in the letter she should take all the time and space she needs, I'll be waiting no matter how long it takes or what she might decide. Is anyone familiair with this type of behaviour and know what it implies?! Is it that she can't make up her mind, or has she already made up her mind but doesn't know how to break it to me?

[Tone]

Just give her time man... the ball is in her court. You said she could take as much time, as much as she wants... and now that she's doing JUST that you're gonna flip out about it?

She'll let you know, probably soon as she figures it out. Again, the ball is in her court... so all you can do is wait. (like you told her you would)

[Gigabitch]

She's fluttering around like a bird. Stay still. Don't scare her.

[DutchBoY]

hmmm, ok I guess I will......I'm not looking for a decision or anything, far from that. I meant what I said, but it doesn't mean she has to practically ignore me for the time being right? Ah well, I'll let her be and figure it out on her own.

[Gigabitch]

What does your best friend think of her? Since he lived next door for so long, he's probably know if she's a barking lunatic, right?

[DutchBoY]

wow, where did you get that idea? It's nothing like that, she just has some issues she has to work through, like most of us. My friend and she are still pretty close (not in THAT way). so no, no "barking lunatic" in the picture

[Gigabitch]

Didn't mean to attack her- I know the situation is driving you to distraction.

Two and a half hours away is pretty far. How's that going to work?

[DutchBoY]

I'm a student, so I can travel for free throughout the country

[Gigabitch]

That's because you live in a first world country.

[DutchBoY]

....and enjoying every minute of it

[DutchBoY]

and another update. Well, we had a good talk last night, in which the letter I sent was discussed as weel. I wont post the log here, but it pretty much boils down to this: she has feelings for me, but rationally she doesn't want to act on them. So she mentioned some barriers of us not getting together, which if I think about it don't have anything to do with who I am. Things like the fact that I'm going to university and she already has a job and stuff. They were all practical things. So I commented on that with something like: "so those are the reasons you are keeping yourself of getting involved with me?" And her reaction was: As long as I can fight my feelings. So I kind of got the vibe that that's the point where I have to come into the picture, so I said: Seems about time I come and make you a nice dinner. So now we're gonna meet probably somewhere next week, with me making her a nice dinner and all. Now my questions. Did I rush it? Cause I kind of got the feeling with her commenting that she'll fight her emotions as long as she can, the only chance I have is trying to get more personal and make her see she's keeping herself from something that could potentionally be something beautiful. Did I make the right move? or should I have kept my distance to make her figure it out on her own?

[clynn]

I think that as long as she is responding to your invitations with "Yes" then you're doing pretty good.

Just don't come on too strong with her, adn I don't think inviting her to do things now and then is coming on too strong.

It is a dance.