Am I in an emotionally abusive relationship?

[hour_glass]

LOL...Some of the things on this thread made me laugh. Is that guy for real.

Yes, he literally said all of those things.

[Wakeup]

Yes, he literally said all of those things.

So what? What are you going to do about this besides stay and then make another thread next month which will be yet another 'same shit different day' soliloque on how awful he is instead of leaving him?

[hour_glass]

So what? What are you going to do about this besides stay and then make another thread next month which will be yet another 'same shit different day' soliloque on how awful he is instead of leaving him?

Wow, I thought this was supposed to be a place for sincere advice to be given, not criticism on the fact that I even ask for help - since I don't have anyone to talk to about this.
Sorry for even freaking bothering.

[Wakeup]

There is no point in getting advice on your situation if you don't do anything about it. As i said this is the third thread on this guy that treats you like shit while you continue to stay with him and do nothing but tell us about it.

If you just want to live journal about your life as it is, then now that I know that, I'll avoid your threads.

I do hope for your own sake that you leave this douchey, douche bag instead of just complaining about him while staying.
BTW: You've been given three threads worth of good advice so don't turn this around like you've not gotten any help whatsoever. Nice way to avoid the question on what you're going to do with all that good advice you HAVE gotten.

[HeartIsAching]

Very good point by Vashti. Emotionally abusive? Probably not. Asshole? Definitely

Either way, you shouldn't stay with him.

Actually, it is emotional abuse. I'm not going to go into detail about why just now, but it is.

[HeartIsAching]

Wow, I thought this was supposed to be a place for sincere advice to be given, not criticism on the fact that I even ask for help - since I don't have anyone to talk to about this.
Sorry for even freaking bothering.

She wasn't criticizing the fact that you asked for help. she's criticizing the fact that you ask for help over and over, get the same advice over and over, and fail to do anything about it.

[Rudeboyy]

Get out now!

[vashti]

Actually, it is emotional abuse. I'm not going to go into detail about why just now, but it is.

Eh, I disagree. Labeling something "abuse" casts her in the role of a victim, which diminishes her power. If she simply thinks he's an asshole she doesn't like, her power remains intact.

[TablesandChairs]

When someone says 'take it or leave it', what they're actually saying is 'I don't care whether you stay or go'. Either that, or he thinks you're too pathetic to leave so why bother changing. People who know how to function in relationships (and as decent human beings in general) know that compromise is necessary sometimes. The only relationship your boyfriend can handle is the one he has with his dog; I can't imagine too many women clamoring to be his girlfriend, unless they're particularly desperate.

[HeartIsAching]

Eh, I disagree. Labeling something "abuse" casts her in the role of a victim, which diminishes her power. If she simply thinks he's an asshole she doesn't like, her power remains intact.

You've got a point - but abuse takes many forms, and she DOESN'T have to give up her power if it's abuse... she just has to not accept it.

[Wakeup]

Eh, I disagree. Labeling something "abuse" casts her in the role of a victim, which diminishes her power. If she simply thinks he's an asshole she doesn't like, her power remains intact.

I see it this way: Her "power" does Not remain in place if she doesn't use that personal power to motivate herself to get out. And labelling something doesn't take away the fact that it is what it is. If it had no name she'd still be experiencing it. Just like the label placed on what ails her (codependency) it is what it is. Telling her she isn't codependent doesn't make the codependency symptoms not be codependency.

[VincenzoG91]

Wow, I thought this was supposed to be a place for sincere advice to be given, not criticism on the fact that I even ask for help - since I don't have anyone to talk to about this.
Sorry for even freaking bothering.

Why don't you have anyone to talk to about this? Are your friends so awful? Or are they tired of hearing about this because you won't leave him?

I suspect that you were hoping that we would all tell just tell you that, yes, this is an emotionally abusive relationship. Then you could feel validated that this isn't your fault and that he needs to change. Unfortunately, he has already made it abundantly clear that he isn't going to change. So it doesn't matter if this an abusive relationship or not. What matters is whether or not this relationship makes you happy. And it clearly doesn't, so you need to end it.

[Wakeup]

What matters is whether or not this relationship makes you happy. And it clearly doesn't, so you need to end it.

"So you need to end it." This will be the THIRD thread wherein she's been advised that very thing in various ways.

[hour_glass]

I am the type of person who needs a lot of support, since I haven't had a ton, outside of my parents, my whole life. I really don't see why I need to have perfect justification as to why I keep asking for advice. I just need it.
@Wakeup, I'm just going to ignore you after this - I've never heard of someone complaining that a user has exceeded the "proper" amount of threads. Someone is quite a stalker aren't they? If you don't like that I am trying to get all the info and input I need to feel comfortable, then go away, don't say anything, leave me alone. It's pointless and idiotic to "argue" about this. I do not have experience being in an emotionally abusive relationship, which is exactly why I asked if I am in one now.

I only have one female friend, whom I rarely get to see since she's very busy with work and school. I also don't want to just dump all of this on her, it seems unfair to her. I don't have a very close relationship with my mom, so I don't feel quite okay talking to her about this.

Hope that clears up things.
Thanks for your advice.

[surfhb2]

Uh, well yeah, that's why my question asks, "AM I IN AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE RELATOINSHIP?" It's a question, not a statement.

WakeUp is just trying to help you !!

A better question would be:

"Are you stupid or mentally retarded for staying with this fuccktard with such a grotesque laundry list of examples of the kind of person he is ?"