How to message a girl of interest and former good friend..

[YoungCosmo]

That could be OK by me. Do you suppose if it turns out that she is taken that I could somehow meet other girls through her anyway?

[michelle23]

yes pm good luck. fingers crossed for you. kiss for luck mwah*

[michelle23]

That could be OK by me. Do you suppose if it turns out that she is taken that I could somehow meet other girls through her anyway?

yes thats a good idea tell her all your buds have gone and you need some new friend

[YoungCosmo]

My concern with PM is if she was taken and got really uncomfortable with a PM over a public message but maybe I'm just overthinking it..I mean, a vision of a guy punching me as I opened my door came to mind..

[searock]

That could be OK by me. Do you suppose if it turns out that she is taken that I could somehow meet other girls through her anyway?

Then I can't think of a reason you wouldn't ask her to meet up straight away (in the first message). You set the stage.

When you meet her, you will probably talk about your love lives amongst other things, so ask her about hers and if she's single tell her you'd love to take her on an actual date. If she declines, don't make a big deal out of it, just laugh/chuckle and ask her if she can at least introduce you to one of her friends. I'm assuming you were good enough friends for there to not be much awkwardness/embarrassment even when talking about these subjects.

[searock]

And I also agree that it should be a private message.

[Wakeup]

Start here, dude.

http://www.succeedsocially.com/getbackintouch

[michelle23]

relax man. nobody is gonna beat you up for asking a girl out. not unless her bf is a psycho anyway lol. if she has a bf shell tell you that and you can say "thats cool, no worries"

[okwhat2013]

How about, "Did you hear the one about old friends who connected over Facebook? No? Maybe we should meet up to figure it out?" blah, also include that you will go out for some wine to compliment the cheese.

[basilandthyme]

Ooh, I am strongly considering that...yet, it sounds kind of date-like. Would it that second part be worked into a later message after first kinda setting the stage?

But isn't that the intention of you contacting her? Besides, friends meet for coffee/drinks too. If she doesn't want it to be like a date, she will simply treat you as a friend.

If you take too long to get to the point, you'll get friendzoned.

[VerticalMoon]

Public messages are for when you want to leave a message and aren't expecting a response. If you want to hear back, you should private message her.

I'd leave an opening response similar to what Michelle posted except using your own words. Then just ask some basic questions about what she's been up to. For instance, is she going to school, working, etc.? Does she still live in the same place? You can also use that exchange to ask if she's seeing anyone. Then after a few exchanges, just ask if she'd be interested in getting coffee sometime.

No reason you can't use her to find other girls if she's taken. After she says she's taken, just say "I'm still searching. I don't suppose you know anyone you'd want to set me up with you, do you?" You never know what might come out of that.

Good luck!

[YoungCosmo]

But isn't that the intention of you contacting her? Besides, friends meet for coffee/drinks too. If she doesn't want it to be like a date, she will simply treat you as a friend.

If you take too long to get to the point, you'll get friendzoned.

So much pressure! Agh. But all right, I will do it.

[searock]

So much pressure! Agh. No wonder short guys died out thousands of years ago.

Being short has nothing to do with being unattractive... one of the hottest guys I know is actually shorter than me (and I'm average height for a girl). I already told you about that other friend of mine who is even shorter and who got a girlfriend just by being confident and asking her out. It's all about confidence, charisma, ...

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You're a twat. Worse, you're some over macho bitch who's probably in the closet. His answer was so absurdly forward and creepy that no one could seriously believe it.

And riiight...adults don't ask these kinds of questions at all. Riiight. And you calling me a twat is certainly a show of maturity. Well done, bud.

Calling me immature is no insult. I act as juvenile as anyone else on this board. Generally it is teenagers that come here asking how to ask a girl out over facebook, and are shitting their pants when they ask it.

[YoungCosmo]

This is different because I actually knew her pretty well way back when (last time I saw her was junior of high school and we're both 23-24 now).