Quote Originally Posted by cmacattack1 View Post
Indie is right, it will put your ex in a different light the longer you are in NC and really think about it and look at all the details with some brutal honesty. It took my best friend to point out where my ex was acting wrong as I was tempted to put her on a pedestal. My ex was immature, childish, and needed to grow up as well. That doesn't change who she is at the core of her person though and I still love her. I know that I cannot be with her right now but it doesn't change how I feel.
Looking at someone's flaws is a normal defense mechanism that helps in the recovery from a breakup or rejection.

As for being immature, childish, etc. I can't think of a single person I know who doesn't exhibit some of these traits, myself included. Certainly not like when I was 20 and free of major responsibility, but my point is there are no 'experts' in this. Maturity is a continuum. In fact, I would question the wisdom and sanity of anyone who would claim they are always responsible, especially at the age (I'm guessing) of the OP. People who are too serious are boring and usually have issues.

Anyway, FWIW, I think cma has a healthy attitude about this kind of thing: see someone for who they actually are, accept it in the context of us ALL being human and on our path, and love them anyway.