I agree with the advice so far - except.. don't do the frying pan thing literally..

this relationship is going down a dark path here. He harps back to old disputes instead of working on resolving the current issue. HUGE DEAL. This is not how couples should communicate. It's not a "you hurt me, now it's your turn" thing. He should not be able to just ignore your legitimate issues with "ah well.. too bad".
And he makes you feel like you should be a 'better g/f'? Alarm bell! and the house isn't clean enough for him? Laundry not on time? Huge, massive, DEAFENING alarms there.

You ask "i wonder if I'M so bad why is he even with me."
this is the right question. the answer is:

you are not 'bad'. He's just trying to make you think that you are. Give it another few months and you'll be his little house slave with no self-confidence, who does all his chores while he meets up with his erotic encounters somewhere else. You need to be ultra alert here- if the relationship starts going that way, _get out_ instantly.

I make it sound kind of dramatic and I'm thinking to myself.. maybe it isn't that bad in reality. But the more I think about it, the clearer it becomes. If I did household chores for my bf, he would thank me for it all the time, and never ever EVER say that it isn't good enough. Even if I turned all his shirts pink, he'd still say "that's ok babe". If he behaved like your BF, I'd be out the door.
Have some self-respect. Set boundaries, and if he doesn't keep them, you _must_ leave no matter how much you love him.

geez girl, he's even got you asking him, basically, "what am I doing wrong? how must I serve you better, master?"
quit that! it is not you.

right now, are you thinking "i've misrepresented him on here.. these people think he's a lot worse than he is.. if they only knew him they'd understand.."?
quit that! it's not you. You've voiced your feelings on the bad things he's done to you? That is enough. I'm sure he has good qualities. They don't seem to be worth it.


good luck talking to him. I really do hope you can resolve this and save your relationship. This will require lots of apologising on his side to get himself out of the hole he dug himself so far. If he isn't apologising but instead twisting it to make it your fault, something's wrong.