Female Phobia

[Gigabitch]

What do you do for work? Do you have any contact with women there? Have you tried alternate types of dating? I think you need to push yourself a little, Henry.

[Henry123]

(I'm really sorry for the late reply.)
Unfortunately I'm on disabilty for social phobia and I'm in need of a operation for a thyroid problem. I'm planning to take my course on anthropology and acrchelogy but thats about it. I'm just been feeling really burnt out.

Meeting women at a work place isnt a problem (athough the choices are limited). In terms of body laguaging I'm still not familar with it (still stiff as a board).

[RandomGBFlamer]

watch the 40 year old virgin, its the dumbest movie ever seriously its not even funny
but it'll probably make you think ............... about your future

[Henry123]

watch the 40 year old virgin, its the dumbest movie ever seriously its not even funny
but it'll probably make you think ............... about your future

I already thought about my future.
Not looking good regardless.
Probably hanging by a rope.
Your post hasnt been that helpful an insighful. Can you tell me something I Dont already know. How about something on body language or non verbal communication etc. Something with specifics.

Its like telling a soldier with war flash backs to not have war flash backs or telling someone who knows he has a smoking addiction not to smoke. It doesnt help at all. Unless you can give some SPECIFIC alternative treatments or steps to take. Like how Zarathru mention hypnotism as an option.



(btw Read what I wrote earlier. Not a problem talking to women I already know at my work.)

[vashti]

I agree with Giga. I don't think there is any "magic" solution for you. You need to feel the fear, and take action anyway.

[Henry123]

man if ur scared of girls just get a knife and cut ur wrist. How man u be scared of pussy?

Please if you dont have anything constructive to say kindly dont post. Your not helping me.

If you actually READ the post its the eye contact thing with strangers (women) I'm having problems with. Women at work s not a problem because I know them already.

[Henry123]

I agree with Giga. I don't think there is any "magic" solution for you. You need to feel the fear, and take action anyway.

Thanks Vashti. I'm just soo frustrated with my progress everything is moving at a snail pace. Recently I had a friend who suggeseted his "3 second rule" inwhich he says if you think about it too long you end up talking yourself out of it. So I have to jump without looking here abit. So that helps abit. He said I should also model my body language to certain people like Sylvester Stallone or Arnold Schwarzenegger or The Rock etc (yeah I know its weird. heh heh).

[blacksun]

Well theres no magic solution you just have to get yourself out there and around people, go to trendy bars, clubs etc. Your not gonna be a pro overnight, but baby steps, or look for foreign women. In a lot of places eye contact is a bad thing so you might luck out there.

[Henry123]

Well theres no magic solution you just have to get yourself out there and around people, go to trendy bars, clubs etc. Your not gonna be a pro overnight, but baby steps, or look for foreign women. In a lot of places eye contact is a bad thing so you might luck out there.

Thanks for your encouragement Blacksun. I appreciate it.

[CherriBlossomGirl]

You said you had no problem in the classroom? Have you tried taking a short, cheap course at a college extension or something? You sound a lot like me. For the past 2 years, I haven't dated or kissed or anything. You want to know what really helped me out? I took a beginning theatre class. I had to get up in front of a ton of people I didn't know and act like a dork. It turned out to be fun rather than nerve racking, and I met my boyfriend of today through my teacher. I'm not saying you should go out and take a theatre class, because your social phobia sounds worse than mine. I just wanted to let you know that there are others out there, like myself, that suffer from a social phobia. Mine is mainly touch. It makes me want to throw up when other people touch me, even if it's just a pat on the shoulder. It's hard to deal with, and you never truly get over it, but you can keep it from controlling your life. You have my support and kudos to you for getting on here and trying to remedy the problem!

[blacksun]

Have you tried conventions/conferences? Ive met sooo many people at conventions (both male and female) in the course of 2 or 3 days. I dont know what your hobbies are, but odds are theres a convention for it. I used to be a big anime fan, and ive gone to the local convention every year even after I stopped being really big into to anime because I meet so many people. Thing is at a convention eveyone tends to be very friendly and everyone already has something in common so you can apporoach and talk to anyone. Some conventions (anime in perticular) also tend to attract very shy people so everyone is sort of in the same boat. Short of that the community college idea somone had was a pretty good one, try learning a foreign language or some other class that involves a lot of social interaction.
If you want to try a quick solution you can try a balls out approach and try just meeting people in a public place. I myself am planning on trying that sometime this summer but its going to require the support of a freind. My idea is that me and him are going to go to the mall and were going to try and start a converation with every girl we see. Probably going to start out just commenting about the weather, then escalite it up to finding something positive about the subject and complimenting her on that then attempting to turn her response into an actual conversation. I dont know how well that will work out but it seems like it will help rid both of us of any remaining insecurities, and will be an entertaining way to spend a day

[Henry123]

You said you had no problem in the classroom? Have you tried taking a short, cheap course at a college extension or something? You sound a lot like me. For the past 2 years, I haven't dated or kissed or anything. You want to know what really helped me out? I took a beginning theatre class. I had to get up in front of a ton of people I didn't know and act like a dork. It turned out to be fun rather than nerve racking, and I met my boyfriend of today through my teacher. I'm not saying you should go out and take a theatre class, because your social phobia sounds worse than mine. I just wanted to let you know that there are others out there, like myself, that suffer from a social phobia. Mine is mainly touch. It makes me want to throw up when other people touch me, even if it's just a pat on the shoulder. It's hard to deal with, and you never truly get over it, but you can keep it from controlling your life. You have my support and kudos to you for getting on here and trying to remedy the problem!

Maybe I should take a cheap course then.

You know this may sound odd I really dont have a problem making public speeches but when it comes to other things like meeting someone at a club or on the street its a problem. It feels alittle more personal.

Maybe I should take theatre class! hymmm?!!! I never acted to a public audience. It seems alot more challenging than public speaking (well at least to me. I shouldnt say that for everyone else though.).
I knew the problem wouldnt go away and had to be continously dealt with.

Your touch phobia sounds very extreame. I'm sory to hear about it.



I really appreciate your support CherriBlossom!

[Henry123]

Have you tried conventions/conferences? Ive met sooo many people at conventions (both male and female) in the course of 2 or 3 days. I dont know what your hobbies are, but odds are theres a convention for it. I used to be a big anime fan, and ive gone to the local convention every year even after I stopped being really big into to anime because I meet so many people. Thing is at a convention eveyone tends to be very friendly and everyone already has something in common so you can apporoach and talk to anyone. Some conventions (anime in perticular) also tend to attract very shy people so everyone is sort of in the same boat. Short of that the community college idea somone had was a pretty good one, try learning a foreign language or some other class that involves a lot of social interaction.
If you want to try a quick solution you can try a balls out approach and try just meeting people in a public place. I myself am planning on trying that sometime this summer but its going to require the support of a freind. My idea is that me and him are going to go to the mall and were going to try and start a converation with every girl we see. Probably going to start out just commenting about the weather, then escalite it up to finding something positive about the subject and complimenting her on that then attempting to turn her response into an actual conversation. I dont know how well that will work out but it seems like it will help rid both of us of any remaining insecurities, and will be an entertaining way to spend a day

Hey Blacksun. I've been to one in April. Not too much of a problem. Abit of anxiety of course. But there seems to alot of commone things to talk about so its not too bad. I did speak to four complete strangers that I met at the conferance ( and I did get her number but she lives way way off in some town away from the city. So not too much luck in meeting someone nice.)
I never thouight of an Anime conferance but thats worth looking into. Public places is too anxiety provoking to me right now. Its abit over my head. Just thinking about it gives me the willy! Knowing what to say in public settings and to continue the conversation is one area i'm having problem with. (I tend to let the person do the talking more most of the time. But sometimes I'm just at a lost with words.)