Just want to get it all off my chest!

[clynn]

Oooh, how hard finding that etch a sketch note. Erase it!

Also...I don't ever understand how people's feelings can change so quickly either. That isn't how I work. I don't know how people can be so fickle like that.

Soooo, I think you are better off than being with someone whose emotions can switch off and on so freely like that.

[clynn]

And, hey - congratulations! On not texting her anymore. Way to go!

[shh!]

I don't understand how girls minds work.

We don't understand it all the time either.

Maybe she wrote (at the time) what she WANTED to be true, or maybe the note was older than you think. Who knows?

Hang in there; it will get better...

[confusded]

Hi,

I just had a really confusing break up, and help or advice that people could give would really be appreciated.

3 weeks ago, my bf of 2 years broke up with me, telling me that we jus didn't have that "spark", so hes not sure if he loves me. He admitted to me that we had a great relationship; we were so close, phsyically very affectionate relationship, great sex, intellectually stimulating, emotionally connected, but he just couldnt put his finger on what was wrong. In light of this, I really find it hard to understand why the break up happened. It would have been easier to understand if we had been fighting or not having sex or cold with each other, but that is the exact opposite of what it was.

I guess an important piece of information is that this was both our first serious relationship (he is 23, im 20), and for him I was only like the fourth person he was ever with phsyically. I think he might want to play the field a bit, still being young.

Any advice that can help me understand would really help out. It would also be good to hear from anyone who has broken up with someone in similar circumstances.

Confusded

[confusded]

gah, meant to post that as a topic, sorry guys

[confusded]

Onslow, thinking about it, there are a few parralels in our break ups. My bf was cuddlin up with me, and then just started talking about breaking up. He had jsut told me the previous nite how much he cared for me, and we had a great time that weekend before it happend.

I also asked him how long he had wanted to break up, when he made the decision, and he said pretty much just then.

I thought, how could you be with me for that long and make a break up decision just like that?

Its hard, to be honest I think it probably in both cases has to do with my bf and ur gf being afraid of commitment and wanting to play the field a little. I hope it works out between you and your gf, I know how hard it is to have been dumped like that.

[Spencer]

confusded - it just can't be true that he decided just then on the spur of the moment. its possible he said that to not hurt your feelings. ie if he said, about a week or two, then you would have been thinking things like,

but he said blah blah blah on saturday and he was already having doubts
or but we had fantastic sex on sunday and he knew he was breaking up.

sorry but most blokes will take some time to extract themsleves and only go when they are ready to.

[gingerbabe86]

Spencer is right.. ppl don't just make these decisions out of no where. They must have been through a deep thinking stage to make this decision. Trust me i've been there. I once had the thought of breaking up with my bf too because he was so caught up in his work and his sport, that at one point i felt that i was wasting his time and that our relationship was going no where. I only get to see him once a week and sometimes not even. I felt that maybe i wasn't a part of him anymore and had the urge to tell him we need some time apart. He works full time like u and i go to college. It's not her fault and it's not u'r fault either, things just happen. She just choose to end the relationship and as for me i stuck with it because i didn't want to end it just like that. There's nothing u can do now but to move on.

[onslow]

Hey everyone!

Haven't checked the forum for a while just thought I'd post up.

Haven't text the ex for a while and although still thinking about her, I was gradually getting over it!

Till now lol...

Seen her tonight in the pub, sitting with her ex boyfriend and... oh no, it was really harsh, why do we let our minds make us suffer so much!! It is ridiculous. We split up on good terms really, she said she no longer loved me, so I thought if I ever seen her it would be OK, on a friendly level. Went to say hello to her at the bar later in the night and she completely ignored me!

I mean I treated her so well, really well cos I really cared for her and she just ignored me! Later in the night she came like a few feet by me and started hugging other blokes and looking at me then looking away trying to wind me up. I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE IS LIKE THAT??

Sorry to post all this but have to get it off my chest after getting in, I'm a bit drunk and know i'm gonna feel really bad in the morning over this.

I tried to ignore it best I could to make her think it was not bothering me so I just wanted to get it off my chest now. Loooking at her tonight, she is still good looking but I never knew how much of a bitch she could be, but I still love her. Why I don't know, they say jealousy is a very powerful tool don't they, human nature I suppose!

At least I know by her actions tonight that she is not a nice person at all but I'm not taking comfort in that, truth is I'd take her back now if she wanted, however bad that sounds.

If she had just said hello and given my a hug and let me know everything is cool I would have been OK but she delibaretly tried to mess with my head tonight, and it feels so bad consdiering how close we were and how much I loved her!!

...a very depressed Onslow