I don't know how I can possibly keep this up...

[IndiReloaded]

There are many people who have dealt with far worse than a breakup. Some have lost children, parents, spouses... they manage so you will too.

Most of us have experienced the pain of breakups or other kinds of doomed relationships. Not to make light of those feelings, but consider: at least those you love(d), though no longer with you, can at least be thought upon fondly and wished-well in their lives.

There are worse things than a breakup with someone. Learn to be happy without them, and happy for them if they choose to move on without you. There are far worse alternatives.

[THX]

Dear Soulsurvivor. I don't know the entirety of your back story so some of this advice might be been there done that.

My first advice to you is if you haven't already done so just feel the pain and let it take you over. A particularly good time to do this is in a "weak moment" and just let it build until it comes to tears. Men deny themselves the cathartic effects women indulge themselves in during tuff life situations. A stiff upper lip can keep grief inside rather than be spewed out in un inhibited natural displays of grief.

If you have already cried ad nauseam and you are still strongly attached at this point it is IMHO because you have not allowed the healing process to begin in earnest because you are still holding up hope for a reunion with her. To truely let go is a difficult but necissary process. It is to give up the fantasies of the future reunion that serve to sooth in the moment. To leave your post waiting for your concept of who she was to return.To say , "If you search for me I will no longer be here." Logic isn't going to help you in this venture. Doing this will make you feel worse but that's the whole point. We don't avoid pain we unearth it, exercise it, and then cleanse the wound.

I mean in no way for this to sound easy.

Also don't beat yourself up for loving her or "not being able to just get over it." I know people who can not connect with people at all. They sit and talk to me how they wish they knew how to connect. You have the gift of being a connector and it's a double edged sword. Right now it might seem like a curse but when you find the girl who is actually everything you THOUGHT this girl was and more it's going to pay you back so much in happiness as the coin turns.

Lastly sometimes not being able to let go has less to do with the break up and more to do with what you think the break up says about you. Realise that just because a woman has chosen to be with another man does not mean you are less of a man than he is. For her INDIVIDUAL tastes in whatever head space she is in now perhaps. Just don't let her dictation become the becon that you look to, to assess you worthyness as a mate, lover or friend. If you confidently display your personality to the single female population their enthusiasm for your company would desolve any such thoughts.