Better days and weirder days...

[Gigabitch]

You're a 6 on the Jurupa scale. Only a 4 on the And_For_What scale, though.

Stop looking for reasons to be unhappy. Life will provide you with a cornucopia of crap to deal with- don't manufacture your own.

[Mathias]

Only a 4 on the And_For_What scale, though.

This person, I don't know.

[Gigabitch]

This person, I don't know.

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=15480[/url]

[Mathias]

By the way, I figured out what's making me keep my distance from Lila.

It's the Chasing Amy syndrome. Seriously.

[Gigabitch]

Silent Bob: [to Holden] So there's me an' Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then about four months in, I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Dumb move, I know, but you know how it is - you don't really want to know, but you just have to... stupid guy bullshit. Anyway she starts telling me all about him - how they dated for years, lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah - and I'm okay. But then she tells me that a couple times, he brought other people to bed with them - ménage a tois, I believe it's called. Now this just blows my mind. I mean, I'm not used to that sort of thing, right? I was raised Catholic.

Jay: Saint Shithead.
[Silent Bob backhands him. Jay raises his fist as if to strike]

Silent Bob: Do something.

Silent Bob: [to Holden] So I get weirded out, and just start blasting her, right? This is the only way I can deal with it - by calling her a slut, and telling her that she was used - I mean, I'm out for blood I want to hurt her - because I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling. And I'm like "What the **** is wrong with you?" and she's telling me that it was that time, in that place, and she didn't do anything wrong, so she's not gonna apologize. So I tell her it's over, and I walk.

Jay: ****ing-A.

Silent Bob: No, idiot. It was a mistake. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small - like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level or never be enough for her or something. And what I didn't get was that she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was looking for me, for the Bob. But by the time I realized this, it was too late, you know. She'd moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away...
[Silent Bob lights a cigarette]

Silent Bob: So I've spent every day since then chasing Amy...
[takes a drag from his smoke]

Silent Bob: So to speak.

[Mathias]

There you go.

[Mathias]

The Chasing Amy quote I was actually referring to, though:

BANKY: This is all going to end badly.

HOLDEN: You don't know that.

BANKY: I know you. You're way too conservative for that girl. She's been around and seen things we've only read about in books.

HOLDEN: But we have read about them. So we're prepared.

BANKY: There's no 'we' here. You're going to have to go through this alone. And it's one thing to read about shit, and something different when you're forced to deal with it on a regular basis. When you guys are walking in the mall and both your heads turn at a really nice looking chick, it's going to eat you up inside. You'll spend most of your time wondering when the other shoe's going to drop. Because for you, this isn't about cool weird sex
stuff, it's about love.

HOLDEN: Maybe it is for her as well.

BANKY: Somehow I doubt it.

[Mathias]

Little bit of an update here.

Went to lunch with Rachel today. I haven't been that comfortable with a girl in such a short time in a long, long time. We had a blast, never an awkward, what do we say now moment, and it turns out, she's a pretty good human being.

So, on the way out, we say our goodbyes...but there's something missing. A thank you. I have a few deal-breakers, and that, surprisingly, is one of them. I paid for your lunch...at least show a little appreciation.

So, I'm steamed about this for a lot of the day...and pretty content to let it drop. Then, she sends me a very nice message tonight thanking me for everything, and saying she had a great time.

So, game on, I suppose. This'll be an interesting ride.

[Gigabitch]

That's a dealbreaker for me too. There is no time at this point in my life to be teaching someone basic good manners.

I'm glad you're letting yourself have some fun. God knows you deserve it.

[Mathias]

Scarily enough, date #3 just ended.

Did Giga call it with "girlfriend-lite"?

More to come...

[Junket]

You boys are such teases.

It's a way of feeling like we're in control.

[Mathias]

You boys are such teases.

It's much more fun this way.

Besides, it's a fairly long story, and I need the energy to type it.

[Mathias]

Quick update for you guys...

I'm separating myself from Lila now, because things with Rachel seem to actually be going somewhere. She's pretty incredible, but I'm taking that situation slowly because it kind of scares me.

Last night, Rachel invited me to a play that her kids (she's a nanny, not a mom!) were performing in. Honestly, the best part was seeing the way those kids interacted with her. They lit up when they saw that she was there, immediately begged her to sit with them and their mom (we did), and just had a blast the entire time. Other than that, we've been going to lunch a bit...this past week, we were eating at Panera, and we lost track of time and stayed for two and a half hours. I can't say I know what's happening, but I know enough to realize that this might be a good thing.

The dilemma now is the fact that I'm leaving for break for about 3-4 weeks next weekend. She has finals (I'm a grad student, so I don't really have them), so what should I do this week? I'd like to do something nice, but I don't want it to send too strong of a message, since I am a little scared, and it's still very early in this process.

[Junket]

Why not just a casual night out?

[Mathias]

That's what I *want* to do, but that's where the old problems come up. One of the reasons the ex moved on is because she wanted more "excitement". So, of course, I have that complex with me now.