How do you show you care?

[a19drift]

Damn, I have to admit as well.....that would make me feel like the world's most appreciated man/luckiest guy in the world!

Thank you.
Could I ask why, though?

I'm all about learning how people tick, so that's why I ask.

I view those things as stuff I just do. No reason but that I actually care, they aren't work..so why would someone doing those things make you feel appreciated, or lucky.

98db -- same question.

[IncognitoSir]

Well, personally for me "the little things are what matter the most". I feel like if a person were to take the time to do ALL these little things that matter to ME then they must really appreciate/care/love and want me and want to build something worth having in. I assume you wouldn't JUST do this for any ol guy right? I wish I could show this thread to my ex, I wonder if she would get it then. My last relationship was myself doing all these little things that made her happy, made her smile, let her know that I was thinking of her, but she couldn't reciprocate at all....actually refused to. Now while she thoroughly enjoyed the way I treated her and I how I SHOWED her how much I care for her she completely disregarded the fact that I needed those same acts from here. So if a woman were to act as you do toward your guy of interest she would totally win me over. Actions speak VOLUMES!

[IncognitoSir]

Thank you.

I view those things as stuff I just do. No reason but that I actually care, they aren't work..so why would someone doing those things make you feel appreciated, or lucky.

98db -- same question.

And yes it's not work because you DO care about the guy. You take pleasure in making him happy and this was the case with me and the ex. It just got to a point where she was happy and I wasn't........lop-sided love is how I think of it.

[a19drift]

Hey, you could always anon-email it to her, just saying.

Thanks very much for your input. I wish I could make said guy see this as well. I swear I'm the lowest maintenance woman in the world, I'm no work at all, lol. I don't know if the best option is to change that, or just hope for the best when he says he'll work on being a little more open, and appreciative.

Again, thanks. & keep your chin up, you'll find the girl.

[ocelot2]

98db, Maybe as a college student relationships are different but IMHO believe that a relationship just needs love and effort, as soon as any large amount of money is involved, someone gets taken advantage of.

With my GF I mostly use...
Sweet talk, the mushier the better. lol
Taking quiet naps together.
Giving her deep long kisses for no reason.
Tease, physical is better.
Lending out different kinds of clothes and stuffed animals.
Walking 3 and a half miles to get to her house because her mom and brother are gone for the day.

[98db]

Some people recognize how special it is to have someone that cares about you, and these are the same people that make conscious efforts to let that special someone know. I agree with IncognitoSir that actions truly do say so much more than words ever could.

When you do nice things for someone, it shows that you think about him, have taken the time to understand what makes him happy, and appreciate him enough to actually put forth effort for him. Long after the honeymoon stage has passed, this is what keeps relationships going.

Something else happens when you act like this. Your guy likes the way you make him feel and wants to do the same for you. Plus, he becomes more secure and confident in the relationship. Finally, at some point he realizes that he likes being happy and starts to see you as being a big part of what makes him happy.

The trick is matching the effort between both individuals. If both people are fine with doing little for each other and are satisfied with "I Love You's" then that can work. But if one person is putting out all the effort and the other is just saying "Thanks", it's bound to result in feelings of resentment from the disparity in emotional validation.

Thank you.
Could I ask why, though?

I'm all about learning how people tick, so that's why I ask.

I view those things as stuff I just do. No reason but that I actually care, they aren't work..so why would someone doing those things make you feel appreciated, or lucky.

98db -- same question.

[98db]

It's not really that much different when you get older. One thing she did that I really appreciated was call me at the end of the day to ask me to skip working out at the gym to come home just because she missed me. It was just a phone call, but it made me feel appreciated and desired. Stuff like that goes a long way especially as people get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and sometimes forget that they have someone that loves them just for who they are.

98db, Maybe as a college student relationships are different but IMHO believe that a relationship just needs love and effort, as soon as any large amount of money is involved, someone gets taken advantage of.

With my GF I mostly use...
Sweet talk, the mushier the better. lol
Taking quiet naps together.
Giving her deep long kisses for no reason.
Tease, physical is better.
Lending out different kinds of clothes and stuffed animals.
Walking 3 and a half miles to get to her house because her mom and brother are gone for the day.

[IncognitoSir]

Some people recognize how special it is to have someone that cares about you, and these are the same people that make conscious efforts to let that special someone know. I agree with IncognitoSir that actions truly do say so much more than words ever could.

When you do nice things for someone, it shows that you think about him, have taken the time to understand what makes him happy, and appreciate him enough to actually put forth effort for him. Long after the honeymoon stage has passed, this is what keeps relationships going.

Something else happens when you act like this. Your guy likes the way you make him feel and wants to do the same for you. Plus, he becomes more secure and confident in the relationship. Finally, at some point he realizes that he likes being happy and starts to see you as being a big part of what makes him happy.

The trick is matching the effort between both individuals. If both people are fine with doing little for each other and are satisfied with "I Love You's" then that can work. But if one person is putting out all the effort and the other is just saying "Thanks", it's bound to result in feelings of resentment from the disparity in emotional validation.

Perfectly said man.

[a19drift]

Perfectly said man.

I agree. Thanks