Boyfriend Dumped Me Out Of Nowhere - Just In Need of Some Advice

[Pancakes]

Thank you!

I just found out today from a friend of his that I completely forgot I still had on my facebook that after one week they have both already been posting how much they love each other all over her social media. How things can only get better, and loving each other is fun.. She ended her relationship 10 days ago, and he ended it with me a month ago today. I just feel like it's really fast for them to be in love already (they've only been together for 7 days), but to post it all over the place, especially where everyone can see (and where her extremely jealous ex boyfriend can see...she is still close friends with him apparently) is just really classless and distasteful. I just feel like neither of them have much respect for their previous relationships. I don't know about her relationship, but I know my ex boyfriend had it really good with me... for him to go around flaunting how in love he is now, and how it can only get better, he makes it seem like his almost 6 years with me was so bad, which is far from the truth. I never saw the actual post (because I have maintained absolute no contact as suggested), but it just all seems so forced. He never flaunted how much he loved me all over the place, he just proved it in person. Our relationship was also strong enough not to have to spend every waking moment together... he doesn't even go to work anymore and I'm pretty sure that since she lives 2 hours away and he still lives with his parents that he's pretty much moved in with her. Even though I never saw the picture or post, it still hurts to hear he's said something like that to her after a week. Especially since this new girl (and no judgement is intended here) is everything he said he never found attractive or "wife-quality" in a woman: tattoos all over her body, piercings, no education (she works at a deli) (not that there's anything wrong with any of those 3 things.. he's just never been into that and always complained about it.. i wasn't even allowed to get a tattoo of my cat's paw), she's 2 years younger than him (he made it a point to always date older because younger girls were always too "immature" for him.. ironic much?), and apparently shes a huge bitch with major ex boyfriend drama.. she posted 4 days ago how broken and sad she felt still..

I guess I just feel l like he had no respect for me what so ever (which I already felt when he didn't bother even sending a break up message), and that I was never good enough. I feel like I was a bad girlfriend.. She's been around for a week and has been praised and loved, and after 6 years with me.. after everything I did for him (supporting him in boot camp, the 12 hour bus rides, the schooling and planning to move for him, the care and thought put into every detail of the relationship), I wasn't even good enough for a break up text.. instead I got bad mouthed all over instagram (he told everyone he never had a girlfriend because he didn't settle.. he didn't bother telling me that, seeing that is how I knew he was done with me). I know everything I'm feeling about myself isn't true, it's just hard to find something like that out. I just don;t understand how two people could love each other so shortly after serious break ups and only 1 week together.. especially when 1 is clearly not over their ex.

I guess in a way this is helping shed light on the jerk he really is. but it still hurts. I just don't know what to think/feel about all this. Up until the break up he loved me (Ive seen him "fall out of love" with me before, and this time there was no evidence of that until the night of) so it's hard to imagine him falling in love with a new girl so quickly. It really hurts to feel like after 6 years he could easily forget me and replace what we had, with no effort.

I just needed to get that out, so thanks to all who are willing to listen!

[chinagirl]

As much as it hurts, you need to stop overthinking this and not blame yourself for the breakup. Apparently, if he broke up with you, it wasn't as good for him as you think it is. You now need to focus on yourself. This is the time to do something that you enjoy and love doing. You are still young and have a bright future ahead of you. It gets better with time. Good luck.

[Pancakes]

I didn't mean that in a way that he thought he had it good, I just know I did way more than I should have, so he had it far from bad. There was nothing I didn't or wouldn't have done for him. He never appreciated it (or never showed it at least) so it's obvious he thought he could do better. It just bothers me that he plays victim and makes me out to seem like I was a horrible girlfriend, when I was far from it. It really hurts to do so much for someone just to have your heart stomped on and thrown away like you were nothing, then to hear he's in love with a girl who is already starting drama in their relationship, after a week, it's just a lot to take in and it's hard not to try and find faults with yourself. I logically know I'm not to blame for any of this, it's just going to take for my heart to feel that way too. Thank you, I know it will get better with time, I appreciate your response!

[Wakeup]

Stop whining about it. Seriously. You're sounding so much like a victim when really all this is is two people finding out that they were not compatible enough to last the test of time. That is A GOOD thing because now you're free to find someone who WILL appreciate what you do for them and won't be so freaking stupid to think you did nothing.
You have to be open in mind and heart and clear of him altogether in order for you to find the right man for you though so get on with that aspect of this situation (the getting over it part)

He's a douche and it's over now. Time to do other things then talk about him and how it hurts you that he didn't appreciate you. The very fact that you did things and he didn't appreciate them cements his douchery. You've dodge a freaking bullet now onward and upward.

Further: Block, delete, defriend him from all/any social media. Tell your friends you do not want to hear what he's up to in the least ever again. Don't creep any of his pages. None of that, anymore.

[Pancakes]

I apologize if it came off as whining, that was not my intention. I was using this as a way to cope and get everything out instead of bottling it up. I'm not trying to sound like a victim. He treated me wrong, yes, and it hurts with how everything was handled, but I'm not trying to play victim. I'm not a victim, I'm a girl who had her heart broken and is looking for a way to help heal it. Again, I was using this in hopes of just simply having an outlet. That's all. I don't have a strong support system at home or in real life. This is my only option. Even is no-one had read it, it still helps to get everything out in the open instead of in my head.

Since posting on here I've been doing a lot better. Yes, I had a set back yesterday, but in all fairness that was not 100 percent my fault. I have blocked and deleted all social media, and I have no made it known to his friends I'm not ready to hear about how he is doing since the break up yet. I also shouldn't be faulted for saying I wasn't appreciated, when I only said so in order to better explain my situation. By being able to type that out, and being able to read that on the screen helps show myself this isn't solely about me, that I'm not to blame. I'm not trying to blame him here either. I only started this to try and make sense of it all. He's free to do what he wants and treat people how he wants, but it doesn't stop others from being hurt and confused by it. This is a forum to try and cope with what happened. I'm not looking for sympathy, I started this looking for help in understanding and dealing with what happened. I had a set back yesterday, I put it on here, I feel better.

I'm sorry you felt that way, but I shouldn't have to feel like I made a mistake trying to have an outlet. In all fairness, and not to be rude, but you have no idea about anyone's personal lives outside of what they say on here. There's a lot of people out there too scared to talk things out for fear of being told to shut up or stop whining and resort to far worse methods of coping. Again, I was not trying to whine so I am sorry if it sounded that way. This just happened 24 hours ago and set me back. If this had happened a week ago and I was "whining" about it then yes, I'm being an idiot. It happened last night, it shocked me and took me off guard. It's now been dealt with and subsequently explained, there's no use in me continuing to bring it up.

With that, I do appreciate your response, and I will continue not tor creep or have any contact etc. I just never thought to think that I still had some of his friends on my account that might say things. But now that I have, the issue is taken care of. But thank you for your advice!

Before I receive further criticism, I apologize for the rant, and I appreciate any and all responses that have been made. This has been so helpful, and I can't even begin to describe how appreciative and thankful I am for having somewhere to just talk. No one can understand how much I needed this. So thank you everyone!

[Wakeup]

Don't get me wrong, it's certainly a good thing to get it out its just this particular schpeel that you have to get rid of repeating and thereby cementing it in your head as truth when it is not:

mean that in a way that he thought he had it good, I just know I did way more than I should have, so he had it far from bad. There was nothing I didn't or wouldn't have done for him. He never appreciated it (or never showed it at least) so it's obvious he thought he could do better. It just bothers me that he plays victim and makes me out to seem like I was a horrible girlfriend,

. Stop blaming yourself and worrying about "looking" or "feeling" like a bad girlfriend. The point is YOU KNOW YOU WERE A GOOD GIRLFRIEND so why are you entertaining negative dialogue within your head like that? That does nothing for your recovery.

Have you branched out into some of the other threads to see if you can be of help to others? Maybe it will take your mind off your own troubles for a while which, when you're not thinking of him can only be a good and positive thing for your own recovery

P.S. You're coming across as a victim again when you say things like "I shouldn't have to feel bad for venting" (not verbatim)... and, no need to apologize. Its a discussion board where people give their opinions and they shouldn't have to apologize for those opinions even if they are not what people want to hear.

None of what has been said has been said as criticism .. it's simply suggestions that will help you to put this behind you rather then keep up the negative dialogue you have going on in your own head.

[Pancakes]

I honestly didn't mean to come off as a victim there, it was definitely the wrong wording so I apologize for that. I have taken each and every bit of advice on here to heart, so everything has been helping a lot. I no longer feel the need to cry myself to sleep every night so I'm definitely getting stronger

As for other discussions, I've posted on a few other forums actually, trying my best to offer some insight into others with similar problems. I'm not sure how much help I've been since I'm having a hard enough time with my own issue, but I've been trying and hopefully I've helped in some way, and it is a nice distraction to try and help someone else.

Thank you again for your response! I'm sorry if my last post came off angry or anything, I just didn't want to come off as some whiny victim if others were thinking it too. Hopefully I'll have no more set backs so I can try and keep on moving forward!