Men crying.

[TAVS]

Don't you guys cry in movies? Sophie's Choice? Terms of Endearment? Bambi?

ROFL; It's called Fiction.

[vashti]

Non-fiction offers even more reasons to cry. People do horrific things to one another.

[RSK]

Crying is PERFECTLY NORMAL!!! (if you are a wimp or girl, that is)


lol - of course, i joking.

that's right, a joke!



in all honesty, you should be worried if you DON'T cry!



i've cried before, when i was going through tough times, sometimes i'd randomly cry at night, this has happened twice in my life. another ONE time was when i was driving in my car. Of course, i was going through EXTREME stress (i still hesitate to use the word depression).

I never cry in movies, i only tear up SLIGHTLY.



from what i've heard, it's normal to cry, and abnormal NOT to...

...you are fine

[funsounds]

Don't you guys cry in movies? Sophie's Choice? Terms of Endearment? Bambi?

two movies got me good...when i was in elementry school, i cried during transfomers the movie when they killed optimus prime!!!!! later on...i sorta half cried during schindler's list...that stuff was hardcore...at the end, when they show all those REAL relatives and surviors visiting the graves and stuff...

[whaywardj]

Vette, I don't recall saying anything about proprietey. But since you bring it up, I'm just saying it's unhealthy to stifle a natural function for the sake of it. I suppose I could've found a better comparison than shit, though. I'll give you that.

The whole "real men don't cry" thing just gripes my ass, in any case, and I'm loath to place any arbitrary limitations on that particular natural function. I believe the pursuit of living up to such a ridiculous expectation is the root of a LOT of uniquely male dysfunctions men go through their lives either ignoring, denying, defending, or disavowing. Or trying to.

[RSK]

two movies got me good...when i was in elementry school, i cried during transfomers the movie when they killed optimus prime!!!!! later on...i sorta half cried during schindler's list...that stuff was hardcore...at the end, when they show all those REAL relatives and surviors visiting the graves and stuff...

that reminds me, during the holidays, i read Night by Elie Weisle. I am really lost for words...i don't know what to say.

i guess you don't have to say ANYTHING really! it's just a matter of acknowledging the power, fragility, and delicacy of the human spirit, and the consequences of when this 'humanity' is lost...

....it's definately one of the most painful things that i've been exposed to "through books, documentaries, and film' in my life. what worse, is that there are people that deny the holocaust ever happened...it makes me SOOO ****in' sick when i hear or read this!

at my university, a family came to give a public talk, out in the open, in the outdoors, right outside the business building of my campus. they created a 'circle' of spectators. i remember being in the crowd, and listening to what they had to say. the family looked STRANGE and VERY OLD FASHIONED. there was a mother, father, older daughter, and a YOUNG kid - he was YOUNG. and here they were preaching some of the most repungant, and sickly things i could think of. of course, the crowd that gathered debated them, but it was no use, i mean, it would've been better to just LEAVE...

...i don't know what. i mean, i can say what i want, but i can never change the past, i mean, if something happens on the other side of the world tommorow, like another terrorist bomb in the middle east, or more soldiers dying in iraq, my heart goes out to these people....i feel hopeless, i mean, what can i do? sure, if i see something WRONG, i will speak out, but honestly, sometimes resposibility is not in my hands, and instead, some dude someowhere else has a choice to make, and he makes the wrong one....

....this can go on and on.



if you are reading this far. i am upset, because of something that happened recently: I was in my apartment, and i decided to watch the news. I watched the headlines, and coincidentally, the 2000th soldier in Iraq had died. I watched the 15 minute segment on t.v, and it made me feel a way i cannot describe....

....but that wasn't it. It was until recently, when i got the latest statistic...i think it was 2,165 at the time...

...this is when i kind of broke. I mean, in my mind, 165 Soldiers. And then, I think of the time between the day i watched the headlines in my apartment, and the day i heard the 2,165 number (on the radio)...

...i think about that brief period of time, and what exactly it was, that i've been doing, and where my mind has been, what i've been thinking about, and so on...

...well, i don't think i will go on anymore, because i'm sure we all have our own personal ways to deal with grief.

i will be 23 years old this year, and just to think that 22 year olds have died fighting this war , its too much sometimes.

i'll stop.

[vashti]

I believe that is worth crying over RSK, whether you are male or female.

[Tiay]

The whole "real men don't cry" thing just gripes my ass, in any case, and I'm loath to place any arbitrary limitations on that particular natural function. I believe the pursuit of living up to such a ridiculous expectation is the root of a LOT of uniquely male dysfunctions men go through their lives either ignoring, denying, defending, or disavowing. Or trying to.

I totally agree with that.
I also think that it probably wasn't just any ol' argument with his mother about leaving old socks on the couch, but something deeper.
I guess I don't "count" because I'm female, but I have cried after an argument with my mom. Just once, because we don't argue a lot.

Of course adults of both genders don't like to cry in public, it's too personal. But if they can't "hold back" it's not because they're wimps or there's something wrong with them. Crying is the sign of a healthy, balanced person. As others here have said, you should be worried if you never cry.

Many movies have made me cry.. but specifically I remember Black Beauty, years ago..

I cried in class once.. well, after class. For a pretty silly reason, too; I was out sick and I didn't have this project done, which was okay because I had a medical certificate, but still that got to me. And then the teacher was really harsh saying how disappointed she was with the quality of work. I just felt like she was saying that to me too. I needed to talk to her after class about how to finish it, but by that time I was crying. And she's like.. do you need a counsellor? what's wrong? And when I managed to sob that it was about the project, she hit me lightly and told me not to cry about that but she was also very sympathetic and helpful. And it turned out a friend had been outside the door waiting to ask the teacher something, so he heard the whole thing heh. He was really nice too though and cheered me up. wow I have to cry more often!

eh, no, but my point is, the thing I cried about might seem silly, especially since the project wasn't worth that many marks or anything, but it hits a deeper nerve with me; fear of failing, fear of not being good enough, feeling like I don't deserve the place at college (I had a weird education, shouldn't technically have been allowed in).. etc. all that just sets off an avalanche of unstoppable self pity. My brain seems to ignore the fact that when I first applied, they told me I should skip to second or third year straight away. It turned out that isn't possible, though.

[Late_vamp]

i have trouble crying , not because i cant , its because everyone around me see's it as something abnormal , something weak , just last year was the first time i had cried since childhood , my ex was the one to do that , i cant believe i cried in front of her , she was in one of those crazy cry's where she wasnt even able to breath well . i was feeling bad , i cant remember why , she got even more mad and cried more when she saw that i wasnt crying , so then somehow , i guess as a way to show her that i was sorry and i was also hurt in some way , i also started crying and hugged her ... ohh i just remembered ... there was a time when i was going to go back to my original country , and that got her extremely sad .

like i said before , seeing someone i love crying actually makes me want to cry more than lets say for example ... physical pain ... heh , last time i cried from pain i was like 12-13 or so ...

[music_jim]

It's really strange.... after my big breakup 9 months ago with my girlfriend of 3 and 1/2 years... I haven't been able to cry. I've been incredibly frustrated and in pain many times since then, and I could feel the tears coming... but they just don't come.

I don't know why it's like that. I just can't anymore.

[indigosoul]

I completely agree with this:

This is called controlling your emotions. Crying is the same. Men and Women. If a grown women sat down in the cheese aisle at the grocery store and started to cry, this would not be acceptable either.

If someone happens to be having an emotional moment, an adult should be able to suppress that emotion (like suppressing you bodily waste) for at least 10 minutes so you can find an appropriate place to have your emotional release.

I absolutely DISagree with this:

SHE needs him to put her back together now and then, not putting him back together. Women look for an emotional level, and that is (society based) found in a man.

They both need to put each other back, when needed. The men I love best in this life are those who aren't afraid to "fall apart" in front of a trusted companion. There is strength in being comfortable enough with oneself to allow yourself to do this (and be controlled other times). Screw what "society" says about this.

[theotherguy0123]

When I was younger, I used to cry alot more often than now. I cried when my grandfather died, and that's still makes me cry sometimes. Now I only tend to get teary if I watch something emotional, not really crying. But the last time I remember I cried was when we lost our last football game to our rival, we were kicked off the playoffs, and they advanced. I have also noticed it felt good to let out my tears when I did cry.

[Bluevetteracer]

Vette, I don't recall saying anything about proprietey. But since you bring it up, I'm just saying it's unhealthy to stifle a natural function for the sake of it. I suppose I could've found a better comparison than shit, though. I'll give you that.

The whole "real men don't cry" thing just gripes my ass, in any case, and I'm loath to place any arbitrary limitations on that particular natural function. I believe the pursuit of living up to such a ridiculous expectation is the root of a LOT of uniquely male dysfunctions men go through their lives either ignoring, denying, defending, or disavowing. Or trying to.

Point taken Wayward, I feel there is no benefit to harbor your emotions, but I do think there is an appropriate place to vent those emotions, and at school or in public is not that place. Now, if you just received very grave information, then of course.

But being torn up over an argument, or past experiance that is "flashing back", then take a moment, remove yourself emotionally from the antagonistic thought, and excuse yourself to a place for some mental downloading.

I have cried plenty in my life, heck, we buried the hanger pet (Sam) an old Lab last month and I think we all shed a tear as we buried him out back. Me included. Time and place.

Now, how would you feel if an airline captain was crying prior to entering the cockpit? Or you surgeon was crying over a fight with his mom? Time and place.

[Tone]

Some very good discussion in this thread.

that reminds me, during the holidays, i read Night by Elie Weisle. I am really lost for words...i don't know what to say.

i guess you don't have to say ANYTHING really! it's just a matter of acknowledging the power, fragility, and delicacy of the human spirit, and the consequences of when this 'humanity' is lost...

....it's definately one of the most painful things that i've been exposed to "through books, documentaries, and film' in my life. what worse, is that there are people that deny the holocaust ever happened...it makes me SOOO ****in' sick when i hear or read this!

at my university, a family came to give a public talk, out in the open, in the outdoors, right outside the business building of my campus. they created a 'circle' of spectators. i remember being in the crowd, and listening to what they had to say. the family looked STRANGE and VERY OLD FASHIONED. there was a mother, father, older daughter, and a YOUNG kid - he was YOUNG. and here they were preaching some of the most repungant, and sickly things i could think of. of course, the crowd that gathered debated them, but it was no use, i mean, it would've been better to just LEAVE...

...i don't know what. i mean, i can say what i want, but i can never change the past, i mean, if something happens on the other side of the world tommorow, like another terrorist bomb in the middle east, or more soldiers dying in iraq, my heart goes out to these people....i feel hopeless, i mean, what can i do? sure, if i see something WRONG, i will speak out, but honestly, sometimes resposibility is not in my hands, and instead, some dude someowhere else has a choice to make, and he makes the wrong one....

....this can go on and on.



if you are reading this far. i am upset, because of something that happened recently: I was in my apartment, and i decided to watch the news. I watched the headlines, and coincidentally, the 2000th soldier in Iraq had died. I watched the 15 minute segment on t.v, and it made me feel a way i cannot describe....

....but that wasn't it. It was until recently, when i got the latest statistic...i think it was 2,165 at the time...

...this is when i kind of broke. I mean, in my mind, 165 Soldiers. And then, I think of the time between the day i watched the headlines in my apartment, and the day i heard the 2,165 number (on the radio)...

...i think about that brief period of time, and what exactly it was, that i've been doing, and where my mind has been, what i've been thinking about, and so on...

...well, i don't think i will go on anymore, because i'm sure we all have our own personal ways to deal with grief.

i will be 23 years old this year, and just to think that 22 year olds have died fighting this war , its too much sometimes.

i'll stop.

I can sympathize RK... the news can be really depressing. Especially when you hear about those kind of things... I'm kind of emotional anytime it comes to war, especially WWII when you hear of the 18 year old boys that were out there, scared to death, and the things they had to experience. Or the 19 year old boys holding their intestines while crying for their mothers.

I teared up a bit on Christmas day when I heard of a mother that was pulling out of her driveway to leave and didn't know her 6 year old daughter was outside playing, didn't see her, ran her over and killed her. How horrific.

I haven't cried, myself, in a very long time. I've teared up over certain things I get emotional over. But I do agree with Bluevette that there is nothing wrong with a man crying, but there should be a place and time.

[whaywardj]

Now, how would you feel if an airline captain was crying prior to entering the cockpit? Or you surgeon was crying over a fight with his mom? Time and place.

Yes, point taken in turn. On the whole, though, I'd much rather see that than to hear either of them say, "Oops!"

Oh. Speaking of pilot, I just realized something. I might wanna pick your brain on a subject, if you're willing. It appears my son has decided to enlist in the Army at the somewhat late age of 26. Turns out, he qualifies for WO after basic (88 percentile AFQT score). Not having 20-20, he's looking at helicopters. Meanwhile, the recruiter is all over him. I'm telling him recruiters are a step above used car salesmen and not to sign anything until he's PERFECTLY clear on what they're promising him and has it in writing. He's saying, "Yeah, dad," but I can tell he's ignoring me (What else is new between kids and their parents?) and itching to get on with it.

Care to pass along anything you're aware of he might want to know BEFORE he commits? PM or here is fine. Thanks in advance, man.