Should I tell her I've had sex with prostitutes?

[MaidenMinx]

My god!! No wonder some guys perceive all women to be stuck up perfectionists.

There is nothing, and I mean, nothing wrong with sleeping with a hooker. If you can afford it go for it. There are a lot of guys out there that for whatever reason are not in a position to have a relationship so what are these guys to do? Would you prefer they went out to clubs to pick up chicks for one night stands? Prostitutes (in areas were it is legal) are regularly tested for STD's, and do not perform without a condom. Much safer than picking up randoms and less awkwardness if you ever see them again when out with a future partner. They also wash after everyone they have been with so not only are they clean of STDs they are quite literally very clean.

OP, how bad is the guilt eating at you for your fib? I don't think she needs to know, but if it's going to drive you mad and distract you then tell her. She won't be impressed, and she may actually break up with you for it. She may see it as a sign of if you can lie about this, what else can you lie about. Do you really want to break that trust over a little discrepancy? And honestly, that is all it is.

PS My hubby had only been with a handful of people before me. We discussed it early on. I asked how many he had slept with, he said 7 (I think that's what it was... that's how little it matters) and I asked straight up "Did you pay for any of them?" and he said "a couple" and we left it at that. Maybe I'm cruisier than most women about it but I really didn't care. Maybe it's because of where I live (The nearest city is known for Porn, Prostitution, Politics and Pot. 10 point for the first person to guess where that is).

[Yet another guy]

Many guys pay for sex anyway even if they aren't doing it with a declared prostitute. It's usually paid for with drinks, movie tickets or food. It's no different than prostitution, except as MaidenMinx says, proper hookers are safer.

[Andariel]

I think we could have an endless debate about the merits of sleeping with prostitutes or not.My point, however, is that his gf has a right to know that she is dating a guy who feels that sleeping with prostitutes is OK and has doneit in the past so that she can decide whether this is the type of person she wants to be with. She deserves to know the truth.

I note that you mentioned that your husband told you that some of the women he had been with were prostitutes and you chose to be with him in spite of that. That is perfectly fine-the important thing is that he was honest with you and on that basis you made the decision to be with him. He did not try to deceive you and this is what I am saying: he has to tell her the truth so that she can make an informed decision about whether she wants to be with him or not.

[surfhb]

Casual dating is just fishing for sex from a guys perspective.

Also most women have no clue on their mans pasts anyway. After my divorce I had about 3 girls I paid for. It was actually pretty nice....they come over have a drink and be gone within the hour. Not how Id like to live my life but, at the time, it was most therapeutic.

[surfhb]

his gf has a right to know that she is dating a guy who feels that sleeping with prostitutes is OK and has doneit in the past so that she can decide whether this is the type of person she wants to be with.

Bullshit! No one has a right to my past if you weren't there and it doesnt affect you directly. Do you judge people on their past decisions often?

[Yet another guy]

Bullshit! No one has a right to my past if you weren't there and it doesnt affect you directly.

I'm fairly certain that most girls aren't willing to open about their past either.

[pisces25]

so that she can decide whether this is the type of person she wants to be with

If I was a guy I wouldn't want to be with someone so judgemental and close-minded. Seriously, what is the difference between sleeping with a prostitute and sticking your dick in the town bike? At least the former is in a safe, clean environment whereas sleeping with a random you never know where they have been. I actually would prefer my guy to have paid for sex rather than be the type that heads out to a niteclub to pick up the first chick willing to sleep with him. That seems seedier to me. His chick is already jealous about these other girls he has slept with, do you blame him for not wanting to be honest? When she reacts like that?

I am a chick and I feel sorry for guys sometimes. Women can be so screwed in the head. IMO if he tells her and she dumps him then he probably should thank his stars so he can go on to find someone that isn't going to judge him on his past.

[pisces25]

Oh and MM, you're in Canberra! Ahh the irony

[pisces25]

Regardless of whether you contracted std's or not, the idea of you sticking your greg into not 1, not 2, but 3 prostitutes and letting another one suck you off would be disturbing enough for me to not ever look you in the eyes ever again if i were her.

Can you please expand on this and explain why it is acceptable to you that he may have had ex's or one-night stands doing this but not prostitutes?

[Andariel]

Can you please expand on this and explain why it is acceptable to you that he may have had ex's or one-night stands doing this but not prostitutes?

She (and any one else on this forum) does not need to justify why she has a certain opinion on certain things to anyone. This is a forum where people come for advice. As such, people can state what they feel would be the right approach to something posted here and then someone can choose to take their advice or not based on their particular situation. I respect that you have a different opinion to mine and you should do the same without trying to turn this into a 'my opinion is better that yours' thread.There's no need to attack people on the forum.

[pisces25]

She (and any one else on this forum) does not need to justify why she has a certain opinion on certain things to anyone. This is a forum where people come for advice. As such, people can state what they feel would be the right approach to something posted here and then someone can choose to take their advice or not based on their particular situation. I respect that you have a different opinion to mine and you should do the same without trying to turn this into a 'my opinion is better that yours' thread.There's no need to attack people on the forum.

Not attacking sweetheart just curious as to why she feels so strongly against prostitutes. And my opinion isn't better. Did I say that at any point? Just having a discussion. Chill out.

[maxmax]

Seriously, what is the difference between sleeping with a prostitute and sticking your dick in the town bike?

I dunno ... with one you get a bumpier ride? :-/

Oh, it was rhetorical ;o)

[rafterman]

If I was a guy I wouldn't want to be with someone so judgemental and close-minded. Seriously, what is the difference between sleeping with a prostitute and sticking your dick in the town bike?

$150
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[Yet another guy]

She (and any one else on this forum) does not need to justify why she has a certain opinion on certain things to anyone. This is a forum where people come for advice. As such, people can state what they feel would be the right approach to something posted here and then someone can choose to take their advice or not based on their particular situation. I respect that you have a different opinion to mine and you should do the same without trying to turn this into a 'my opinion is better that yours' thread.There's no need to attack people on the forum.

Why are you being so defensive? You (and Bo and everyone else) are entitled to your (their) opinion of course and no one is denying that. But why are you so offended by people asking to help them understand your (or Bo's in this case) opinions.
pisces25 didn't attack anyone.

[Bo]

Bullshit! No one has a right to my past if you weren't there and it doesnt affect you directly. Do you judge people on their past decisions often?

If you were a pedophile, would i be entitled to know if i were a future gf? J/W.....lol

Can you please expand on this and explain why it is acceptable to you that he may have had ex's or one-night stands doing this but not prostitutes?

It has a lot more to do with it than the meer idea of having sex for money.....i've heard enough bad stories of things that have happened to women in the industry and also why some women were 'forced' to sell their bodies because of various reasons. Like i said i'm not thst close-minded, if it was like a once in a lifetime sort of thing, i wouldn't mind so much. He sort of voluntarily lied though, or that's what i'm assuming, so he got himself into a sticky situation....now add in what he lied about and you got yourself a pretty serious situation. Just like i don't mind my bf watching porn but the idea behind what happens in the porn industry and such, grosses me out. And i guess i would expect my guy to also have similiar views i guess....which he does so i am in luck. will explain more later, i am late for work. ****!