Friendship first ?

[shyguy0806]

Well in my point of view, it should be FRIENDSHIP first. That's because a deep friendship can make you two understand each other far more better than discovering OH.! She has these types of habits tooo... OR OH.! I never thought of that.

Yes that's true. I suggest that every true relationship should start only after deep friendship that because a friendship is just like a relationship with just a distance between the partners physically. I hope you understand what I am trying to convey.

Thanks.

dude i totally know what you are saying but i how am i supposed to talk to her when i don't even know her name?

[the_robot]

dude i totally know what you are saying but i how am i supposed to talk to her when i don't even know her name?

...... How would you figure out her name without asking her? Grow some balls and go talk to her.

[shyguy0806]

...... How would you figure out her name without asking her? Grow some balls and go talk to her.

Wouldn't it be awkward if she has friends surrounding her and you just walk up to her and ask her name? I think it would be awkward for me at least.

[the_robot]

Wouldn't it be awkward if she has friends surrounding her and you just walk up to her and ask her name? I think it would be awkward for me at least.

It would probably be easier for you to start talking to a girl who is alone.. so wait until she is alone if it is so.

[GK001]

Wouldn't it be awkward if she has friends surrounding her and you just walk up to her and ask her name? I think it would be awkward for me at least.

i met my 2nd gf in a uni elevator. only saw her a few times since we're in the same building...we did make eye contact every time cos she was hot but we're totally strangers.
one day i found my self and her alone catching the same elevator with a awkward silence. so i made a witty comment about elevator music then she started laughing and the rest was history.
later i found out she noticed me the first time she saw me...so that made things easier. timing is very important, you'll need to break the ice at the right time so this first contact awkwardness goes away.

[shyguy0806]

i met my 2nd gf in a uni elevator. only saw her a few times since we're in the same building...we did make eye contact every time cos she was hot but we're totally strangers.
one day i found my self and her alone catching the same elevator with a awkward silence. so i made a witty comment about elevator music then she started laughing and the rest was history.
later i found out she noticed me the first time she saw me...so that made things easier. timing is very important, you'll need to break the ice at the right time so this first contact awkwardness goes away.

You read my mind. But how do I get in those types of situations when the only time I get to see her is in school? And we aren't even in the same class?

[sweetkissesforu]

I don't suggest being her friend first. That's how guys end up in the friendship zone, which you CAN escape but is very difficult. Being her friend but giving her hints doesn't usually work either, because as a girl, she might assume you're just naturally flirty, or she might actually get that you like her but then wonder why you never ask her out. Eventually, she'll get sick of beating around the bush, and go out with a guy who makes it obvious that he likes her.

But you also don't want to jump straight into a relationship without getting to know her and seeing if you guys are compatible. My suggestion is to ask her to something casual, like coffee/tea/lunch. Tell her," I think you're pretty/smart/kind hearted. I'd really like to get to know you better." Then see how coffee/lunch goes. If she seems flirty and open, up the ante a little bit... ask her to something fun like ice skating or hiking, something a little bit more physical. Keep increasing the "intensity" of the one-on-one interactions. This way you're giving yourself/her an opportunity to see how you guys would be in a relationship without giving her the impression you see her as a friend.

Omg you hit this on the nail best advice

[sweetkissesforu]

A bit of research... Do you mean stalk her?

Dude, I don't even know her name.....T . T

stalkers not recomended

[sweetkissesforu]

i think the same as the last guy being friends first builds a much stronger connection because you can talk about stuff not as easy to bring up under the pressure of a relationship. You get to know her on that lvl and then decide if you want things to go farther she may have alot of family issues or something you don't want to get involved with.

so very true experts have said it gives you a common bond

[shyguy0806]

so very true experts have said it gives you a common bond

yea....but how should I put myself in those types of perfect situations?

[GK001]

You read my mind. But how do I get in those types of situations when the only time I get to see her is in school? And we aren't even in the same class?

err go with the flow. when you see her alone just go up to her. why you so desperate to make things happen right away? my ex was doing fashion design and I'm doing engineering...totally different classes. i wasn't expecting anything with her at first, i just find her attractive.
things just happened naturally with out creepy stalking or wanting something to happen. you been comfortable with out been seeing as desperate or edgy will make her accept your presence more.

[shyguy0806]

err go with the flow. when you see her alone just go up to her. why you so desperate to make things happen right away? my ex was doing fashion design and I'm doing engineering...totally different classes. i wasn't expecting anything with her at first, i just find her attractive.
things just happened naturally with out creepy stalking or wanting something to happen. you been comfortable with out been seeing as desperate or edgy will make her accept your presence more.

i guess i am desperate right? idk maybe...but idk...probably i need someone to talk to because of so much stress around me lately...

[shyguy0806]

well after a few months im back and ive been seeing her more and more on campus. but every time i see her, shes just surrounded with guys which makes it quite difficult for me to approach her.

[jb1111983]

I go with friendship first. I take time to know her a bit and vice versa. Then I go for the confession. I'm not very good at hiding my feelings so I think I unconsciously show romantic interest in them right from the start with the way I look at them, talk to them, etc. Maybe that's why it doesn't get too awkward when I ask them out. This somehow works. I think there's no set rule that's effective for everyone. We need to go with what comes naturally to us. Doing otherwise may not work for you.

[Boisdevie]

There are two rules.
Rule number 1. There are no rules.
Rule number 2. Read rule number one.

It all depends so much. With my current partner we talked for ages over the net, met for lunch and by the second date we were an item. With my previous partner I had never talked to her but asked her out. We went out to the cinema. Second date we became an item and stayed together for 8 years. There are no rules.