I refuse to give my boyfriend oral pleasure! Am I a bad girlfriend?

[basilandthyme]

He's not trying to force her into it...and doesn't sound like the type of guy who would do so. Though I would imagine that even the best guy would eventually struggle if a woman was carting around unresolved baggage from a previous relationship.

[TheEvilJester]

Here's the thing.... are you not into it simply because of your past experience, or are you not into it simply because you are not into it, and the past experience only made that worse? I ask because if it is the past experience that made you "not into it" then you certainly still shouldn't feel forced into it, but you should work on whatever you can do to move past that. Because, if you can get past it and get back to where you are okay with it, it would no longer be an issue for this boyfriend, or any future boyfriends if you and this guy wind up not lasting.

However, if you just flat out are not into them and that is highly unlikely to change even if you do deal with the issues from your abusive relationship, then you shouldn't allow yourself to be forced to be okay with it. There is NOTHING wrong with it if you happen to just not like doing that/are repulsed by the idea. To be honest with you, I cannot understand how it became so accepted as just a normal part of a relationship in this day and age. How does that NOT seem repulsive to people?

All the same, if it is make or break for him, that doesn't make him wrong either. ....HOWEVER, you asked and he said it was NOT make of break. So, if it IS make or break for him, then what IS wrong is the fact that he led you to believe he'd be okay living without this, only for the truth to be that he is not okay with it. You should never be forced to do something you do not like. If he cannot live without that, then perhaps that just makes you two non-compatible. He needs to at least be honest with you so you two can make that decision.

Good luck to you.