2 parter

[Cbrider]

Shes on the fence, its a pretty fine line you're going to have to walk. Its up to you, jsut make sure the ties are cut, what you don't want is her changing her mind about how she feels about her ex when you two start dating. Take it from me, personal experience, make is CRYSTAL CLEAR.

[vashti]

You handled it perfectly, Tone. You established interest without being creepy. She probably was thinking about you when she went to sleep last night.

[annoyed23]

totally agree on the mentallly leaving a man a long time before physically doing so. she might def. be ready sooner than you think. i would in about a month or so, let her know of your interest...let her then take the lead! good luck!

[Everlovin]

Shes on the fence, its a pretty fine line you're going to have to walk. Its up to you, jsut make sure the ties are cut, what you don't want is her changing her mind about how she feels about her ex when you two start dating. Take it from me, personal experience, make is CRYSTAL CLEAR.

^ Follow this advice and you will be even more lost than you are now. If you tell her not to think of her ex or go back to her ex...guess what she is going to do? Yeah thats right.

If you really want her to distance herself from her bf/ex bf you need to defend him. Yes, you read that correctly.

The trick is defending him in a way that makes him look like a needy loser. For example, "Oh he still wants to date you after you guys broke up? Thats because he knows he can't hold down a relationship with you and he also can't find anyone else to have sex with. You should probably be nice to him, otherwise his feelings might get hurt."

[Zilla80]

Thanks guys.

You've given me a lot to think about.

Now I have to try to find the right balance between staying persistent while ignoring her enough to let her know she's not all that.

I was thinking of waiting a couple weeks before asking her to do something, casually. I want to first establish that I'm not going to make anything weird between us. I also have to monitor closely the situation w/ her and the ex..

[Everlovin]

I want to first establish that I'm not going to make anything weird between us.

Then you won't have a physical relationship with her and you will not become her boyfriend. You have to take risks, theres no way around it. I want you to imagine that there are two sides to this girl, the outgoing socially appropriate girl and the primevil woman who wants a guy who is man enough to lead her to sex. Then after the sex happens you get to decide what you want. A one nighter a fuk buddy or a girl friend. Be a nice guy after you hook up with her. She wants you to pursue her and to lead her to sex, it isn't going to happen if you just tread lightly and avoid stepping on her toes.

Yes, it may get weird. So what? Right now she isn't your girl at all and unless you act she never will be. Do what I told you to do, you have nothing to loose.

I also have to monitor closely the situation w/ her and the ex..

No you don't. That is creepy. For all intents and purposes her boyfriend doesn't exist. If she talks about him, change the subject immediately or defend him as I described above. If you read into the situation between her and her bf then you will miss all of the oppurtunities between her and you.

Post a follow up here later on in a month or two. Tell me if you followed my advice or the other people's advice and whether or not you got the girl.

[vashti]

I was thinking of waiting a couple weeks before asking her to do something, casually. I want to first establish that I'm not going to make anything weird between us..

I think it's a good idea to not make things weird until after your trip. I'd wait for her to make some subtle signals to make a move before then. She knows you are interested.

[Everlovin]

I think it's a good idea to not make things weird until after your trip. I'd wait for her to make some subtle signals to make a move before then. She knows you are interested.

If you wait that long you will be permanently slotted into her friend category.

Vashti is telling you what she thinks that is all. She has no experience bagging chicks (Unless she swings that way and if she does, hey, more power to her).

I am pming this post to you because that little bich Frasbee is about to ban me and delete this post.

[Zilla80]

I do like the "be aggressive" approach.

Maybe I should escalate things and stop letting the upcoming trip we are going on together hold me back..

What sucks is we only have class together 2 days per week, so there are not a whole lot of opportunities, but I will have to make the best of it.