Dating your boss

[Cbrider]

Qwerty, you're not a stupid person, don't make a stupid person mistake.

1.) I dated a co-worker who was roughly the same level as I was, maybe slightly lower than me, but that's not relevant. When things fell apart, it was a mess in every sense of the word. You want to know what a rumor mill is first hand, date your boss. Your co-workers will slowly resent and push you away, you have to hide your relationship for conflict of interest reasons, and when it collapses the fallout invades every corner of your life.

2.) You think that this can't potentially harm you career, but no one plays by the rules. For instance, a company can't comment on your performance while you worked for them, legally, but they can say "I would not hire xxxxxxx again." Labor laws are littered with loopholes.

I was fired from my previous job and was given no concrete reason and still to this day am not clear why it happened. The girl I dated, whom I wouldn't even acknowledge, my entire department and sister departments, two assistant store managers and my direct supervisor sided with me. My store manager didn't think I would peruse anything, but I went after them and won compensation and the legal half of it. Businesses will bend you over if you pose any problem for the company. They have two goals, to survive, and to be profitable/for shareholders. Nothing will stand in the way, it doesn't matter how much so and so likes you, or how high up your friends are.

Not only do I think this is a horrible idea from your end, its very irresponsible of your boss to even more in this direction. That's kind of a red flag on its own in my eyes. You're a cute......and....wait for it.......intelligent girl, you can do MUCH better.

Does your boss look like me?

[Perryville]

Qwert, You seem to be a very level-headed Lady, so I think that right now, it isn't a problem, but it could be, if this goes further. There are two of you doing this, so all of the dynamics that apply to you, will apply to him as well. This is one of those issues that are life-changing. Once you have a romantic relationship with him, nothing will ever be the same again. The affects will be permanent. So please be VERY careful, about starting something that will be an influence on your life, for years to come. I've done this and know about the fallout.

[qwertz]

Qwerty, you're not a stupid person, don't make a stupid person mistake.

1.) I dated a co-worker who was roughly the same level as I was, maybe slightly lower than me, but that's not relevant. When things fell apart, it was a mess in every sense of the word. You want to know what a rumor mill is first hand, date your boss. Your co-workers will slowly resent and push you away, you have to hide your relationship for conflict of interest reasons, and when it collapses the fallout invades every corner of your life.

2.) You think that this can't potentially harm you career, but no one plays by the rules. For instance, a company can't comment on your performance while you worked for them, legally, but they can say "I would not hire xxxxxxx again." Labor laws are littered with loopholes.

I was fired from my previous job and was given no concrete reason and still to this day am not clear why it happened. The girl I dated, whom I wouldn't even acknowledge, my entire department and sister departments, two assistant store managers and my direct supervisor sided with me. My store manager didn't think I would peruse anything, but I went after them and won compensation and the legal half of it. Businesses will bend you over if you pose any problem for the company. They have two goals, to survive, and to be profitable/for shareholders. Nothing will stand in the way, it doesn't matter how much so and so likes you, or how high up your friends are.

Not only do I think this is a horrible idea from your end, its very irresponsible of your boss to even more in this direction. That's kind of a red flag on its own in my eyes. You're a cute......and....wait for it.......intelligent girl, you can do MUCH better.

Does your boss look like me?

You talk alot of sense Cb.

You know no-ones as cute as you

[qwertz]

Qwert, You seem to be a very level-headed Lady, so I think that right now, it isn't a problem, but it could be, if this goes further. There are two of you doing this, so all of the dynamics that apply to you, will apply to him as well. This is one of those issues that are life-changing. Once you have a romantic relationship with him, nothing will ever be the same again. The affects will be permanent. So please be VERY careful, about starting something that will be an influence on your life, for years to come. I've done this and know about the fallout.

Yeh, I have to think ahead, rather than the now.

Probably not a good idea. But I knew that before I asked.

[qwertz]

Ok, he just phoned me and asked me if i wanted to go for a drink this eve. I really shouldve said no, but he charmed me into it lol and i forgot how to say it.

Im being stupid I know, can someone slap me please.

[NeoSeminole]

guys, pay attention. This thread is a perfect example of how a woman (even the most level-headed, smart women) think and act. Now use it to your advantage. Successful guys know this and use it to get what they want.

[CocoChanel]

guys, pay attention. This thread is a perfect example of how a woman (even the most level-headed, smart women) think and act. Now use it to your advantage. Successful guys know this and use it to get what they want.

Ouch!!!!!!

[all alone]

guys, pay attention. This thread is a perfect example of how a woman (even the most level-headed, smart women) think and act. Now use it to your advantage. Successful guys know this and use it to get what they want.

haha gold.

[qwertz]

We went for drinks, and i did the sensible thing and told him we should just be colleagues/friends and nothing more.
He agreed, and said probably for the best...then he damn well kissed me...I thought at the time i should pull away..and i should have..but i didnt.
Im a damn idiot and neo's right.

[Sanctuary]

Ok, he just phoned me and asked me if i wanted to go for a drink this eve. I really shouldve said no, but he charmed me into it lol and i forgot how to say it.

Im being stupid I know, can someone slap me please.

guys, pay attention. This thread is a perfect example of how a woman (even the most level-headed, smart women) think and act. Now use it to your advantage. Successful guys know this and use it to get what they want.

Yes, absolutely. If a woman is attracted to you, even the smartest women are easily swayed by their emotions so long as you can reassure them (in the moment) that what they're doing is the right thing; you should act before they really have a chance to think about what the hell it is they're actually doing though.

And if you've managed to establish a position of authority in the conversation or relationship thus far, they tend to listen to you.

Lol this is some pretty shady advice I'm dishin out.

[Junket]

We went for drinks, and i did the sensible thing and told him we should just be colleagues/friends and nothing more.
He agreed, and said probably for the best...then he damn well kissed me...I thought at the time i should pull away..and i should have..but i didnt.
Im a damn idiot and neo's right.

He's totally mind f*cking you, so you might as well body f*ck.

[qwertz]

Its not just in the moment, part of me is saying 'what the f*ck are you doing?!' and the other part of me is saying 'what the hell, whats so wrong with it'

Even though im reading comments here and they all make sense, something is telling me to just go for it.

why the hell does it have to be my boss!!? lol

[IndiReloaded]

guys, pay attention. This thread is a perfect example of how a woman (even the most level-headed, smart women) think and act. Now use it to your advantage. Successful guys know this and use it to get what they want.

I have never done anything stupid like this. I would never put a man over my career. So your implication its all women is wrong, Neo.

[qwertz]

Im not putting a man over my career. Like i said before, if i did get involved then it would have no impact on my job/career in terms of losing my job or stopping me achieving what i want to at this company. The most it would do is possibly make things awkward between colleagues(though i dont think it would, but you never know) and things awkward if we got together and split up.
He is my boss, but not actually involved in the hiring/firing etc side of things and is not that concerned with that.

There is no way in the world i would even consider this if i thought for one second it would affect my work enough to compromise my position at work(and thats not me being naive)

I just dunno.

[Mish]

I think now is a perfect time to start looking for a new job.

It's better to do it now, before things get awkward. Because when things get awkward you'll have no time to look anymore you'll just be firefighting.