Messed up getting worse. Benefactor with sugar baby

[davidtorres]

sugardaddy = DIRTY OLD MAN

give your wife a break and file a divorce.

[ashwood85]

They only way I think you will be able to move on from her and "get out of love" is to drop all contact with her. You are in a lose lose situation. When you stop talking/screwing/seeing her you will be constantly thinking about her until you either go mad or break down and call her. The sooner you let her go the better it will be for you.

[telluride11]

While I realize this was an ultimately bad decision, I came to it from a position of years of frustration with my wife who lost her sexual interest, grew increasingly overweight and unattractive leaving me in sort of a sexual void. I thought of all my options including leaving her which I did not want to do so I explored the rekindling of my sexuality with a young vibrant, unbelievably attractive and skilled energetic woman. I paid for her services thinking that this would create a implied distance, that it would be a purely professional service and that i could be detached from it for these reasons. WRONG. Her passion, sexual prowess, tireless energy, zeal and athletic performance blew me away and I became addicted to the feeling, the orgasms, the visual beauty of her sweating and arching her back and pretty much carrying our intimate times into the deepest recesses of the wildest porn movies. I absolutely fell in love and it hurts so much to realize she did all this to me under the guise of just acting as a professional whereas I got suckered in as her prey. I know she likes me but hats probably it and the idea that she can carry on this way with just about anyone that would pay her well enough drives me nuts. But it is a hard cold reality and I am so vulnerable, naive, well-meaning and innocent about this stuff that I was an easy target. In return for her amazing physical gifts to me, she gets very well paid and I would imagine draws so elemental satisfaction of a certain amount of psychologic dominance over a particular man. I warn all those out there in my position, and I would imagine there are millions of men like me, take heed and beware about this trap. I never thought it would happen and now I have to figure out how to end this. I can't cold turkey from her as I love her but I imagine I will exert some strong mind control to realize the suffering I have brought about by doing this, the psychologic damage that will linger with me and the inanely foolish, childish and stupidly self serving activity I am in.

[rackandpinion]

I've been there. You don"t have any clue whats around the corner. No stability. If your love is genuine, you are constantly worried about faithfullness. Now, if you fall in love with a girl who is willing to be a part time escort, thats big big trouble. Love demands fidelity period and if that is an issue, than the whole basis of the relationship is undermined. You will not sleep well and you will suffer. So, you need to stop romanticizing this girl. Of course she is gorgeous, sexy, seductive, willing, great in the sack. Your physical needs are being met in spades and you now are trying to go beyond that to experience her inner core and abstract more and more. You are addicted to this and it is not easy to break. Your rational mind won't kick in enough to break it so you are going to have to bear the deep pain, the feeling of fullness in your chest, the sudden surges of adrenalin, nervousness, and edginess which comes with unrequited love. You will see her again, and the very next night you will have even more fluttering of your heart as she is with someone else doing to him what she did to you. How much more do you want to torture yourself? Are you taken tranquilizers yet? Your wife must think you are an asshole as it is impossible to hide this from her. So, I am afraid you are going to suffer and suffer until your equilibrium is so upended that your self preservation instincts take over and you start fighting back to recapture you dignity, your sanity and your judgement. Because you are love sick and that is the essence of irrationality, hypomania and self destructiveness. Good luck

[Mish]

While I realize this was an ultimately bad decision, I came to it from a position of years of frustration with my wife who lost her sexual interest, grew increasingly overweight and unattractive leaving me in sort of a sexual void. I thought of all my options including leaving her which I did not want to do so I explored the rekindling of my sexuality with a young vibrant, unbelievably attractive and skilled energetic woman.

Hmmmm

Solving marriage problems by having an affair with a slut, who would've thought that wouldn't fix the problem eh?

[PYT]

You have no right. Firstly, this is a business arrangement. Plain and simple. You're the one cheating rather than working things out with your wife, yet you don't want your young, beautiful sugar baby having fun and other arrangements in her life? She doesn't have a legally binding contract. You do!

Secondly, if you and her would've discussed that she only be with you intimately, then I could see your side. But you haven't mentioned that in your post so I'm going to assume that wasn't the case. If you expect her to be 'faithful' to only you while you screw around on your WIFE, you're going to have to financially support her enough so that she doesn't have to find additional donors.

It's really as simple as that. Get over the fact that your sugar baby is not tied down to you or stop seeing her.

[girl68]

I am so well-meaning and innocent about this stuff.

BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhahahahahahaha

Well meaning and innocent.

Use those words when you're busted by your wife paying a hooker.

"But baby, I was well meaning! You're fat and ugly, I didn't want to leave you... so I sought out a hooker to satisfy me with "our money". I am innocent I tell you!"

[vashti]

ahahahahahahahah

girl 68 - you crack me up!

[seganomics]

You claim to start this arrangement in lieu of an affair but it does seem to sound like when you invovled emotions you are in fact being unfaithful.

I have a hard time believing you actually do love this other woman when you are wanting her to change her life. It sounds like a greedy addiction to the high you get being with her, and wanting it only for yourself.

I would think if it was truly love... you let her have her clients, let do her trade as she has chosen to do. I understand we're talking about a business of sex, but it is her "career" at the moment. (Remember all of this is her means to her ultimate ends) You'd wouldn't push her to quit if it was a career delivery pizza rather than pleasure.

If she loved you back then it's possible she'd reconsider her career for a life with you. But it would her choice not your jealousy.

At any rate... I don't believe you love either woman, and need to disassociate from both of them. Your wife deserves someone who loves her despite her changes... and the sugar baby does not need a client who can't appreciate her success with other clients.

[telluride11]

Okay. Here's my confession. I am a fifty year old guy who has been having the best sex of my life with this woman half my age who could easily be the playboy pet of the year, who accepts my monthly stipend willingly. I couldn't help getting hooked after seeking her the first four times as her level of passion is cosmic. Yet, I realize, she is not going to hang by me if I leave my wife and want her full time. Besides, I just learned that she has a fiancee in another city that she has separated from for a trial period to see how things work out. So how do you deal with this purely physically without letting emotions kick in with all the problems of jealousy, anger, curiosity, exclusivity, worry, panic and just plain love. I can't sleep as I am always thinking about her and I know that the 5 or 6 nites a week that I am not with her, that she is possibly having sex with other guys, friends or monied strangers. This truly sucks and I am just going to have to walk away which is really tough.

[Cain]

You shouldn't have put yourself in this position in the first place. Honestly, the emotional shredding that you're feeling is so beyond well deserved.

[IndiReloaded]

How come none of our... ahem, hoary guys are commenting on this? Carl, Lite, Ygg, Cam?

[vashti]

jeezus, for a 50 year old man, you sure sound emotionally flighty, and well.... a little whiney.

If you want to be able to cut this woman off, then tell your wife what you've been up to. Somehow I think if she knew you were spending part of HER money on some little hooker, she'd motivate you to grow up.

[IndiReloaded]

Aren't those 'love' chemicials just so addictive, Telluride?

[url]http://people.howstuffworks.com/love6.htm[/url]

Your wife is so going to own your ass if you don't get over this chick soon. LOL.

Why don't you find yourself a new SugarBaby? They must all take the same training program. That ought to put things in perspective.

LOL, have the mods considered this guy is a troll for their new service, btw? This company has been in the news recently. Just saying.

[Gigabitch]

Okay. Here's my confession. I am a fifty year old guy who has been having the best sex of my life with this woman half my age who could easily be the playboy pet of the year, who accepts my monthly stipend willingly.

Of course you are. She's a pro. I'll bet Bobby Flay cooks better than your wife too.