What happend

[pattyx7]

i promised her i would never give up on us, even when she did.
I know I need counceling. I already started working out and meditating, also working on quitting smoking.
It breaks my heart. I feel like she stabbed my heart with a dagger, pulled it out and stabbed it six or seven or 20 more times and let me bleed out everything i cared for in my life, and now its filling up with darkness.

[Wakeup]

i promised her i would never give up on us, even when she did.

don't let that stop you from getting over her and her out of your life. While you were together you never did give up on "us." It's her that has given up on the two of you.

Have you ever heard the saying: "No sense flogging a dead horse?" It applies in your situation.
You've been flogging a dead horse and it's causing you anxiety, grief, being unmotivated in your own recovery and healing. Counceling will help you to see that. Start before counceling to help yourself in your healing by accepting that you should stop this never giving up. That you should indeed give up because it takes two people to form a relationship not just one (you).

It's beyond being unhealthy at this point to keep on trying to be with someone who doesn't respect herself never mind you.

[pattyx7]

The thing is before i left to go to germany (where i am right now), we were doing pretty good. she actually started to make up. she told me she was sorry, she cried for it, etc. We went on a date and everything. On the last day at the airport she was like: "we shouldve had sex", and "its okay at least then you will want me when you come back." And now that im gone its like she doesnt want me again. I just dont understand that.

[Saya]

She's young and she want to enjoy life before settle down and get married.

She's probably bored of being with you and want to enjoy life more and have more experience.

You should just move on since what she want is not you.

Why do you even want to be with someone who cheated on you?
If you two get back together, most likely she will cheat on you again and will not stay committed to you.
It's possible that she may not love you truly because if you truly love someone so much then they would not want to cheat on you.

[pattyx7]

She's young and she want to enjoy life before settle down and get married.

she actually always pushed me to marry her =/

but yeah i understand i need to move on. I just wish i knew what went wrong, or how i could get her back. I know it could work.

[Wakeup]

I know it could work.

You don't know any such thing. You hope it will work but by what you've shared here, this girl is incapable of being happy with one guy, Stop making up scenerios that suit your dreams and start to look at things at face value. Use some logic thinking instead of emotion thinking. Doing so will help you to accept the truth. Accepting the truth will help you to recover from this so you can find a better suited woman for you.

She is not the woman you were meant to spend your life with. You haven't found that woman yet and the more you fantasize about the ex, the more you idolize her and dismiss her disrespect to you, means it will be longer before you are ready to meet who was meant to be your LIFE partner.

[Saya]

Most likely you won't get her back.

She's young, she doesn't know what she want.

She cheat on you and most likely she is still with that guy.
She already have moved on so you need to move on as well.
What do you think the reason why people would cheat?

Without trust, you can't have a good relationship!
Think about it, if you two get back together, you are always going to feel insecure every time she goes out clubbing or out somewhere.
Your going to be controlling her life by telling her not to go out, not to do this, not to see this guy etc....

How do you know that, if you two get back together, it could work???????

[pattyx7]

cause thats what she said =/

[Wakeup]

cause thats what she said =/

:o) Good one! That was a joke right?

[pattyx7]

no not kidding, lol.

But yeah i just found out shes been lying to me all day that shes been "at work", and thats why she couldnt look for this very important document i needed by today. So i think this is the final push i needed and all your comments kind of perfectly met at this very day.

But probably ill be messed up tomorrow again. The hardest part really is to stop looking at her facebook/ the other guys facebook, writing her, i dont really know how... like i care waay too much, for what i should.

[Saya]

Every break ups is hard.

Right now your upset/hurt and heart broken.

If you two are meant to be together then, she would not lie or cheat on you.

You shouldn't talk to her... ignore her when she try to talk to you.
Delete her facebook and block her our or delete your facebook.

[pattyx7]

should i tell her i slept with someone else since i found out about her actions, maybe then it will hit her?

[Wakeup]

no not kidding, lol.

But yeah i just found out shes been lying to me all day that shes been "at work", and thats why she couldnt look for this very important document i needed by today. So i think this is the final push i needed and all your comments kind of perfectly met at this very day.

You've just taken the first step in the process of getting over her her.

But probably ill be messed up tomorrow again. The hardest part really is to stop looking at her facebook/ the other guys facebook, writing her, i dont really know how... like i care waay too much, for what i should.

You are aware that looking at her page is keeping you attached and addicted to her so strive to wean yourself from peeking however; blocking and deleting her would be best. Definately go cold turkey on the actual contact. She's an addiction to cigarettes so It's like quitting smoking, you can't quit if you keep having a drag of her.

[pattyx7]

that is very true. Damn addictions...

should i tell her i slept with someone else since i found out about her actions, maybe then it will hit her? or would it push our friendship away? maybe i need to hate her, and make her feel miserable, tell her parents indirectly, make her life miserable - like mine is. mehhh its so hard to come up with the right thing to do, while the wrong thing to do maybe the easier way to get over her, or maybe not.

we still have a lease together, that she never payed before. I always payed rent. Should i make her pay rent now, when she moves out?

[Wakeup]

Bye and good luck. I trust your therapist can get you to understand that which you don't understand about NO CONTACT. "No" as in none and "contact" as in any form of communication.