Does she still care or think about me?

[trinidadtx]

No, we haven't talked on the phone yet. She's on those dating sites because she knows it bothers you. Also, it's something she can hold over your head for you to commit.

How could you go so long without contacting her? Is it your pride? I ask this because I don't understand how you can feel the way you do and not act on it. A lot of people told me "if he's not calling you he's not thinking about you." I bet she thinks the same thing about you. I swear I would sit here and think "I bet he's glad I'm not in his life. He probably doesn't even think about me. He's probably with someone prettier."

When you talk to her, how are you going to tell her you've changed?

[trinidadtx]

As in, how will this time be different.

[funguyhere2010]

I don't know if this will work. I'm using my phone to type and it wouldn't let me post my last message. Hopefully it will work this time.I think in the past a lot of it was my pride. There would sometimes be weeks or even months that we wouldn't talk. She would then call or email me or call me with a private number then hangup when I picked up. I think in my mind I knew she would always be there. I cared about her but put my friends and having fun 1st before her. I know its bad. I feel terrible about it now. I was very immature. By doing things like this she thought I was doing something with a girl which I wasn't.The last time I talked to her she was upset and said I will never change and that was the last time we talked. I will private message you when I can and tell you the rest but it might be a novel if that's ok haha. Has he wrote anything to you about wanting to see you or anything like that?

[trinidadtx]

A novel's fine. I think he's waiting for me to bring up seeing each other or having a "real" conversation. I don't understand why he can't put his pride aside. It's embarrassing for me, but so many times i begged him to please talk to me and not ruin us. I humiliated myself over and over, but he can't put his pride aside for me? When I would accuse him of being with girls he'd flip out. Probably because he was. Now I want to beat him up. Just kidding!!!!

[trinidadtx]

I just found out he's with some woman!

[funguyhere2010]

Wow that's exactly what my ex said to me. She just wanted me to talk to her and said anything can be worked out. I feel very bad now thinking back at things. I'm sorry how did you find out he's with someone? Did he tell you or you found out a different way? Hmm he wrote to you 1st though on facebook? He wrote to you for a reason. I'm just wondering what that reason is.

I just found out he's with some woman!

[trinidadtx]

Because he's a bit@#. I'm so angry right now. Apparently, it was an impulsive move on his part and now he can't get rid of her. She's a little older, and struggling. Wow!!!! So, all this time he can treat me like shit, but feel compassion for her. Hmm. I sent him a msg telling him I hope he dies a horrible death, and that woman he's with is his Karma. I found out through his sister and the sister doesn't like her so she was offering all kinds of information.

[trinidadtx]

Feeling bad about the "horrible death" part.

[funguyhere2010]

Those words are a little harsh. That's the kind of things my ex used to say to me. She would call me all sorts of names & tell me she hates me & doesn't love me & is seeing other guys, etc. What do you mean he can't get rid of her? In what way? May i ask how old he is? He wrote to you for a reason. In my opinion i think he might still have some sort of feelings for you or i don't think he would have written to you at all. I wouldn't get too discouraged just yet. I know you're probably very upset & hurt but maybe wait & see what ends up happening. Just my opinion. This is weird. Last night at 2:07 am i got a call from a private number. She used to call me from private numbers alot especially at night on the weekend to see if i would answer the phone & find out if i'm out with my friends or something. The only other people that have ever called me from a private number is maybe a credit card company or a telemarketer or something like that but they can only call you until like 9 or 10pm at the latest. I have only had my phone turned back on since the middle of Oct & haven't had any private number calls until the 1 last night. Do you think maybe it was her? It could have been someone calling the wrong number but who calls someone at 2:07 am & especially with a private number & get the wrong number? I do hope it was her but i really have no idea. No one else ever calls me with that. Hope you're having a nice weekend.

[trinidadtx]

You know it was her! I use to do that all the time. He can't get rid of her because he let her and 4 of her kids stay with him. If he kicks them out they've got nowhere to go. I hate him! I msgd him that yesterday too. I told him I never loved him, I just felt sorry for him because he's so stupid. That's so mean.

I write things that I think will make him feel bad. For example, I wrote "I should have listened when EVERYBODY told me you were no good. EVERYBODY said that." That's not even true. When I'm so mad and hurt I want him to feel isolated, and alone like I do. I know, that's so twisted. He's 38 and I'm 35.

[funguyhere2010]

I'm 37 and will be 38 in 2 months so I guess I'm the same as him. I should be more mature. How do you know its her? I just seen that she is on one of her personal ad things. She was on those a lot when I was with her so should I not try to look to much into it? I really want her to call me again if its her but I don't think she would 2 nights in a row. I miss her a lot though. I know I should just wait and see what happens. For some reason a part of me thinks it wasn't her who called but no one else ever calls me with a private number but I could be wrong? So when he wrote to you what did he say? Maybe he wants to leave her but doesn't know how.QUOTE=trinidadtx;780673]You know it was her! I use to do that all the time. He can't get rid of her because he let her and 4 of her kids stay with him. If he kicks them out they've got nowhere to go. I hate him! I msgd him that yesterday too. I told him I never loved him, I just felt sorry for him because he's so stupid. That's so mean.

I write things that I think will make him feel bad. For example, I wrote "I should have listened when EVERYBODY told me you were no good. EVERYBODY said that." That's not even true. When I'm so mad and hurt I want him to feel isolated, and alone like I do. I know, that's so twisted. He's 38 and I'm 35.[/QUOTE]

[trinidadtx]

I really think it's her because of the time the call was made, and the fact that she's done it before. Listen to your intuition, it's usually right. I really think those personal ad things are to keep you concerned. It works right? Don't you think you should make the effort to make contact? What's the worst that can happen?

[funguyhere2010]

Well I don't check all the time but I see sometimes she's on those a few times a day. I don't even know her number to call her. I wonder if she will call again? I hope so. This is the 1st time she has called in ages if it really was her. I think it might have been. I will send you a message when I can get to a computer. Its kind of a complicated and messed up situation that will take awhile to explain. Has your ex wrote anything back to you since the other day?

I really think it's her because of the time the call was made, and the fact that she's done it before. Listen to your intuition, it's usually right. I really think those personal ad things are to keep you concerned. It works right? Don't you think you should make the effort to make contact? What's the worst that can happen?

[IndiReloaded]

This thread is like watching the blind leading the blind.

@ Funguy - you had 8 years to figure out what you want. Now that's she's gone you only want what you can't have. Unless you do something drastic like a marriage proposal, I doubt she's coming back. She might even be stringing you along simply b/c she can. Like you did to her all those years. The opposite of love isnt hate--its indifference. Learn your lesson and be kinder to your partners: either be honest and let them go when you know its not going anywhere, or make a commitment when you find something good.

@ Trinidadx - you already know your answer. This really says it all, doesn't it:

she's a little older, and struggling. Wow!!!! So, all this time he can treat me like shit, but feel compassion for her.

All you are doing now is killing time until that hate turns to indifference, like I told FG. If it helps, he doesn't really feel compassion for her, he sounds like one of those men that likes to think of themselves as 'a good guy', but really he's entirely driven by selfishness. He'll be treating her like crap before she knows it. Feel sorry for her, and those kids.

Good luck to you both.

[funguyhere2010]

For some reason it won't let me send you a private message on here. Could I email you something to a private email address? You can write to me at [email]mattloomis36@yahoo.com[/email] if that's ok? If you don't want me to know your personal email I understand. Have a great day

I really think it's her because of the time the call was made, and the fact that she's done it before. Listen to your intuition, it's usually right. I really think those personal ad things are to keep you concerned. It works right? Don't you think you should make the effort to make contact? What's the worst that can happen?