Relationship Red Flag Stories... share them here?

[pcmaster]

Yeah americans can be pretty dramatic sometimes. Maybe because they are tired.

Once things are not going their way the drama starts.

I dont like drama too. Remeber previous girl asked do I realize its a criminally punishing(I wrote "Hi fatty" to her on dating site.) This still makes me angry cause she was rude to me too afterwards and its like it dont counts.

Still makes me angry when remembering it.

[TheEvilJester]

I don't think being overly-dramatic is a uniquely American trait. People all over the world can be drama queens. But... yes.... people in my country do seem to be especially talented at it.

[Dece capri]

Wheres my post

[lovebroken]

It doesn't show if you typed one that said more than your post 18? That one says " Wheres my post ". Try posting it again since this one showed [MENTION=85279]Dece capri[/MENTION]

[pcmaster]

I should have seen that thats a red flag when girl said she cant wait then she will jump on my D. Also should have seen red flag when she got in my pants with her hand the first time we were kissing.

[topazlight]

Anyone who hides you in any way should always be a red flag, whether it be by phone, skype, in person with people they know, their work or anything else. Sketchy people do this, not people who tell the truth.

[dollhouse]

Thanks everyone!

[MENTION=85279]Dece capri[/MENTION] ...could you post it again? This forum is always having strange glitches, were you posting from a pc/laptop or a phone?

I agree, topazlight.. honest people won't hide a person they love in any way... they'd be proud to talk about, have friends meet, family meet, and share them with others they care about.

[TheEvilJester]

I should have seen that thats a red flag when girl said she cant wait then she will jump on my D. Also should have seen red flag when she got in my pants with her hand the first time we were kissing.

Some guys might consider that the exact opposite of a red flag. LOL! I, however, would agree with you on that, PC. I absolutely don't mind strong women who do not mind being more forward.... but if somebody is that quick to want to make things sexual then they are probably not for me. Not that there is anything wrong with that, it's just I am not personally interested in "casual sex." I would prefer to date somebody first and have that lead to sex. Somebody turning things sexual that quickly would likely hold more importance in sex than I personally agree with or is interested in just a fling. Again, that is fine for them, it's just not fine for me.

[pcmaster]

Sure most guys would like girl who loves to ****. But I want to find a girl who will love me not just my D.

Especially in US people are more open about sex. And when it come to virginity then most girls in US just want to get over it, without looking for any meaning or beauty in sex.
I know in some countries its a tradition when father or uncle brings teenage boy to slut house to lose virginty cause being virgin for guy is a bad thing but girls must be virgins before marriage. LOL glad Im not girl.

Anyway back to topic. Previous girl had double standards. Should have seen this as a red flag meaning shes full of shit.

[TheEvilJester]

I definitely agree with the idea of the beauty in sex. To me, it just doesn't interest me as basically a "pass time" the way most people seem to treat it. Just something to do for fun with basically anybody who will let you, almost like watching a baseball game. Though, for the record, there is almost nothing in this world I find more God awfully boring than watching a baseball game. LOL! But, that's just me.

Anyway, for me personally, I prefer for sex only to be as part of a serious relationship. At the same time, though, don't get yourself in a trap where you over-value that. There's nothing wrong with having casual sex, or sex just for fun, if that works for you. That doesn't work for me, and perhaps it does not for you, but only decide that if it is because you are actually only interested in sexual activity as part of a serious relationship.

Sex is great.... but it is not all that magical like some people make it out to seem. Again, that's not to say it isn't great when you do get to have it.... I'm just saying, don't elevate it so much in your head that you deprive yourself.... and/or you wind up building it up too much. Nothing could ever live up to that.

Anyways, that's a lot of blah blah blah. LOL! I think the point I'm trying to make is that you should do what feels right for you, and not worry too much about whether there is "magic" or "beauty" in it. If you don't want to have sex with somebody unless you are in a serious relationship first, then don't. If you don't mind having sex before you two are serious, then go for it if the opportunity presents itself. Just be true to who you are/what you want and also be honest with any partner you may have. Just be honest. You can be honest but still fair and caring. People often act like "brutal honesty" is such a good thing. Personally, I agree it CAN be.... but I think "fair/caring honesty" is much better. You can still be honest without having to be brutal about it.

[Hooo!]

Yes. But if you have a caring honesty also make sure your complete message still arrives.
Sometimes people think that caring is not being entirely open and honest. This is wrong. You can be completely and entirely totally honest about your thought reasons and emotions and yet at the same time care for people. Sometimes that's a thin line to walk

[pcmaster]

So only red flag that bothers me now with girl is that she drinks sometimes. She said when they gather with relatives then can drink until they get sick next moorning.

Also one more thing is that already third time our plans gets distrupted. Basicaly we talk about something and then she puts relatives- family first and we cant meet cause shes with them. I still trust her but past have showed that our plans are not set in stone. At least not for her. I always been ready and waiting for her.

[TheEvilJester]

Yes. But if you have a caring honesty also make sure your complete message still arrives.
Sometimes people think that caring is not being entirely open and honest. This is wrong. You can be completely and entirely totally honest about your thought reasons and emotions and yet at the same time care for people. Sometimes that's a thin line to walk

Absolutely agreed. There is caring honesty and then there is sugar-coating things. Sugar-coating things is not good either. Nor is sugar-coating them simply by avoiding the times when honesty may not be the most pleasant. I do think brutal honesty CAN have its time and place. Sometimes a certain person may just otherwise not listen/get the picture. However, as a general rule of thumb, I am not a fan of "brutally honest" people. Because, the truth is, many times they aren't "brutally honest..." they are just an a-hole and think they can use that as an excuse.

I don't mind people who are/can be brutally honest..... WHEN it is appropriate.

[melancholia]

I can see the beauty in sex, I can also see how it can be just for fun and not to be taken too seriously all the time. It would be a red flag for me if a guy took sex too seriously, and if he considered it a red flag if a woman wants to have sex on the first date. If you want to get down on the first date, go for it. As my mother once said, "if you don't have sex on the first date, how else are you going to know you want a second date?". Everyone sees these things differently, and it's interesting to see different points of view on the same topic.

A red flag for me is when someone is rude to people when it's not justified, for example, they are rude to servers at a restaurant or something like that. It's a red flag for me if a guy yells when he's mad, like calm the f down, dude.

[TheEvilJester]

I can see the beauty in sex, I can also see how it can be just for fun and not to be taken too seriously all the time. It would be a red flag for me if a guy took sex too seriously, and if he considered it a red flag if a woman wants to have sex on the first date. If you want to get down on the first date, go for it. As my mother once said, "if you don't have sex on the first date, how else are you going to know you want a second date?". Everyone sees these things differently, and it's interesting to see different points of view on the same topic.

Yeah, I think that is kinda what I was trying to get at, but maybe worded a little better. LOL! I do personally prefer sex to be more intimate than something I'll just do with any gal who will let me.... but at the same time, it isn't like I think it is this amazing magical thing that I elevate in my mind beyond what anything could ever live up to in the real world. I have no problem with people who enjoy casual sex responsibly.... but I personally would rather be in a serious relationship first.

A red flag for me is when someone is rude to people when it's not justified, for example, they are rude to servers at a restaurant or something like that. It's a red flag for me if a guy yells when he's mad, like calm the f down, dude.

I could not agree with this one more. You know.... after the life I've led, with how little I trust people...... I still default to being polite unless somebody gives me a reason to be so polite. I just don't see a reason to be an a-hole to people for no reason. After all, then I am just as bad as all the people who made me so unwilling to trust in the first place. It is one thing if somebody/something has pushed you to a brink. I can understand being mad/maybe unintentionally rude when you have a reason to be. But, people who are just automatically rude.... or people who go from zero to a-hole too quickly are a huge pet peeve of mine as well.