Need some serious female advice

[Wakeup]

Hah I had definitely "put him on the friends ladder", if by that you mean that I only saw him as a friend, I would have never imagined finding him attractive and I actually thought "thanks god he has a girlfriend that he loves, so he will never make it awkward by developing a stupid crush on me or something that would ruin our amazing friendship".

Well, subconsciously you likely found him attractive in some way (maybe it was his ability to be a good boyfriend, but you didn't necessarily immediately find him good looking. Attraction is more then just looks)

But of course according to me there are no "ladders", so I would never use that phrase to describe what happened.

Well, we can argue until we are blue in the face but, I still say that subconsciously the guy you ended up with that you thought was just a friend, you found potential in on a subconscious level and therefore you never actually placed him on the FL.



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Yes, because the women they're interested in are not attracted to them and they never will be. Not because they have "put them" in some imaginary "zone".

I agree to disagree.

Cheers.

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Kingz: Once again has deleted his posts (between #13 & 14) like the soggy, waffle that he is.

Note to self: Always quote, kingz.

[chinagirl]

You should let her know how you feel anyway... If you really love her, it's worth taking the risk to let her know.

[Wakeup]

I agree with that ^^^ because at least if he knows she's friend zoned him (if she has) then he can (hopefully) grab his ballzzz and keep himself totally out of her life. He doesn't want to be her girlfriend with dangly bits, he's just doing it because he thinks it's better then not having her in his life at all. Crushing on her is holding him back from finding someone that will be his romantic/sexual girlfriend.

[searock]

Well, subconsciously you likely found him attractive in some way (maybe it was his ability to be a good boyfriend, but you didn't necessarily immediately find him good looking. Attraction is more then just looks)

Well, we can argue until we are blue in the face but, I still say that subconsciously the guy you ended up with that you thought was just a friend, you found potential in on a subconscious level and therefore you never actually placed him on the FL.

Nope... it's just not what happened. I didn't even know that he had a girlfriend at first. I liked him as a person, sure, but I was not sexually/romantically attracted to him.

It has happened to me several times in my life actually: I meet someone whom I don't find attractive at all (so there goes the "first 5 seconds" silly rule) and whom I later on begin to be attracted to, even after months or years. As I said, I'm sure I'm not unique in this and the fact is, attraction is not that simple. There are no black-and-white "zones" and "ladders".

It's ok to disagree :-).

[KingZ]

Kingz: Once again has deleted his posts (between #13 & 14) like the soggy, waffle that he is.

Note to self: Always quote, kingz.

And this is where you join searock among the high ranks of WRONG.

In light of Cinco de Mayo, I am not a waffle. I am a corn.

[smackie9]

[Wakeup]

And this is where you join searock among the high ranks of WRONG.

In light of Cinco de Mayo, I am not a waffle. I am a corn.

I swear you must have been dropped on your head when you were just a nibblet.

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Nope... it's just not what happened. I didn't even know that he had a girlfriend at first. I liked him as a person, sure, but I was not sexually/romantically attracted to him.

It has happened to me several times in my life actually: I meet someone whom I don't find attractive at all (so there goes the "first 5 seconds" silly rule) and whom I later on begin to be attracted to, even after months or years. As I said, I'm sure I'm not unique in this and the fact is, attraction is not that simple. There are no black-and-white "zones" and "ladders".

It's ok to disagree :-).

You do know that there is more to attraction then looks and sexual chemistry, right? Anyway, we're talking about subconscious choosing here.

sub·con·scious
[suhb-kon-shuhs] Show IPA

adjective
1.
existing or operating in the mind beneath or beyond consciousness: the subconscious self. Compare preconscious, unconscious.

2.
imperfectly or not wholly conscious: subconscious motivations.

noun
3.
the totality of mental processes of which the individual is not aware; unreportable mental activities.

[KingZ]

I was wondering when the New Age bullshit was going to pop up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subconscious#.22New_Age.22_and_other_modalities_ta rgeting_the_subconscious

[searock]

Wakeup, I'm telling you, there was no attraction of any kind on any level - I just liked him a lot as a person and friend. It also happened with other people in the past, so it wasn't just that one time. It's ok if you don't believe me.

[Wakeup]

The fact you liked him means there was some form of attraction.

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It's okay if you don't believe me either however: Its not that I don't believe you. I totally think that you don't think there was any form of attraction but you're looking at attraction in a very limited way.

Based on this logic, of searock already being attracted to anyone she could eventually become attracted to in the future, then searock is attracted to... everyone!

Eww. searock is a whore.

0.o
Not everyone. Don't forget she's friend zoned some of them and those one's will never be repositioned on the "potential ladder"

[KingZ]

Based on this logic, of searock already being attracted to anyone she could eventually become attracted to in the future, then searock is attracted to... everyone!

Eww. searock is a whore.

[searock]

Hahah

Wakeup, there's a difference between liking someone as a person and being attracted to them. I like my mom, I am not attracted to her. With this guy (and others before/after him), there was no attraction whatsoever. It's easier to accept that a theory is wrong, than to try and make everything fit into it even when it blatantly doesn't.

[Wakeup]

Like I said, I'm talking about opposite sexes here. Not about how you like your family, Sea.

[pcmaster]

Eww. searock is a whore.

Kingz what happened to waffle? Waffle was much better. This corn is like joke is it? You will change back right? I mean theres no point, waffle was bad but corn is sweet and it dont make any sense just looks gay there. Even more gay than this

[searock]

Like I said, I'm talking about opposite sexes here. Not about how you like your family, Sea.

What I mean to say is that I felt no attraction towards him. I liked him as a person, NOT as a potential sexual/romantic/life partner. There was no attraction of the kind "between a man and a woman", on any level. He was under every possible aspect "just a friend" (or as you would say, I "put him on the friends ladder"). It fits your theory to believe that there was actually attraction, but as I said, it's much simpler to let go of a theory that doesn't work, than to try and make everything fit into that theory even when it doesn't.