What is the funniest thing you have said during sex

[cheazypeaz]

best one for me was, .. when she was moaning she said 'ohhh spike' , and i said shh ur parents will hear (she was being noisy) then she said well i cant help it what you want me to say 'ohh *first name* ... (by the way i hate my first name it was a bit of a joke, but had me laughing)

[Tone]

Guess you had to be there.

[WhatToDo20]

Well I was thinking about the things that my girl friend said to make it easier for her to have sex. There are two. One was blast off when she would pull out. The other was ridem horsy cause I am kind of big down there.

One time, well... my girl and I were very drunk after a night of Bacardi 151, and we got busy and we were going at it, both of us nearly passing out but still made the effort... and she had just recently gotten a job at the ol' Taco Bell... like very recently, so it was kinda on her mind. And she asked me if I could close the Burrito Steamer... I was just like, whatttt? Haha it was funny ;-)

[Pears]

This isn't actually something that was said, but rather done.

He was extra excited that day and he came before expected so it flew across the room and some of it landed on my face. We never saw it fly across the room before so he almost burst out laughing. He was trying so hard to hold his laughter. I was flinching because it was on my face. I went to look at the mirror and it was hilarious. It was on one eye lid, on my nose, my cheeks, and my chin. I wanted revenge so I pulled his face to mine and I kissed him deeply and smudged it on his face. He wanted to kill me.

[Only-virgins]

This isn't actually something that was said, but rather done.

He was extra excited that day and he came before expected so it flew across the room and some of it landed on my face. We never saw it fly across the room before so he almost burst out laughing. He was trying so hard to hold his laughter. I was flinching because it was on my face. I went to look at the mirror and it was hilarious. It was on one eye lid, on my nose, my cheeks, and my chin. I wanted revenge so I pulled his face to mine and I kissed him deeply and smudged it on his face. He wanted to kill me.

Another reason why I want a virgin. Suffering from fag phobia, I dont touch anything that has had cum on it from previous males within the last 100 years.

[bluesummer]

Another reason why I want a virgin. Suffering from fag phobia, I dont touch anything that has had cum on it from previous males within the last 100 years.

Well finally we get to the root of it....you don't want a virgin simply because you want a girl you think is moral and pure. You just don't want to put your dick somewhere another guy's dick has been, because to you it's like you're touching dicks with another guy.......! Hence the 'fag phobia' you mentioned?

Eureka! I knew there was more to it.

[Only-virgins]

Well finally we get to the root of it....you don't want a virgin simply because you want a girl you think is moral and pure. You just don't want to put your dick somewhere another guy's dick has been, because to you it's like you're touching dicks with another guy.......! Hence the 'fag phobia' you mentioned?

Eureka! I knew there was more to it.

GOOD JOB!

________________

[Rosebud]

I guess that's understandable.... But after you've had sex, I'm sure your thoughts will change on that!

[Only-virgins]

I guess that's understandable.... But after you've had sex, I'm sure your thoughts will change on that!

I was being sarcastic to her but ok. Im curious why you think so.

[Rosebud]

Well think about it. There's things that turn you on that only you know right? after you have shared that with someone and experience it with them, you won't be thinking about the person prior...you'll be thinking of what she is doing to turn you on! and what you more you want her to do to take you over the edge....the stuff she has done before would be the least on your mind!

[TyRuK]

My current gf at the time once said "oh i've forgotten to put the washing machine on" and made me finish half way through so she could go turn it on lol! The relationship didn't last alot longer.

[Aprilxxx]

My ex was amazin in bed really! We had a totally amazin dirty sex life. But this 1 time i was ****in him in the back of his car i was on the verge of cumin when he said whos ur daddy? Well i had 2 bite my lip from laughin but he said it again clearly lookin 4 a answer so i said u r baby then faked it

[blauw]

I have to say ... Funniest topic EVER!

[Teezy]

Shit, the other night I was at the bar hitting on this hella fat chick, I didn't care I was hella drunk.

Anyway, got her into bed and I couldn't get it up because I was all drunk, so I was all "Hey, want to give him a HAND?" grabbing her hand and putting it down there.

She laughed, I laughed, it was corny as hell.

[Illusional]

on more than one occasion, i always have said my ex's name. and this isn't with the same girl... shit, i think that it happened with three different people already. i just you just get really close with someone and things settle. when you're with a new person, you're so used to saying your ex's name that it comes out accidentally. luckily none of them have heard it because they were also drunk. muhahahaha

raverboy