Girfriend had sex with someone else and now it just isn't the same!

[TheLostAdonis]

This reminds me of when my girlfriend broke up with me a little over a year ago. She hooked up with some random guy two weeks after she broke up with me. She just "wanted to be wild" and we were both each others firsts. The idea of her being with different men was very violating to me because she was very special, and sweet and innocent and iloved her. Now one of her boyfriends decided to marry her, and she took my dog and im left with nothing, but six years of build up...for nothing. I'm still in pain every day. Especially since she took the dog from me. All of my grandmother's died at the same time one month after she left me, i needed her most then, but instead i was alone. her breaking up with me was the scariest experience of my life. I was 27 at the time, we had dated since i was 21. She turned 30 c ouple months ago so she was a little bit older and a lot more mature. All i have left is a feeling of guilt, and violation and the sense that i lost the best thing that i ever had. i wake up looking for my dog everyday, adn sometimes in the night i call out for her and no one is there.

When she broke up with me she started going to grief counseling for people that have lost a loved one to death. I was a ghost. Still am.

[nayr]

Thanks yet again for the replies, its helpful to read what other people with more experience with relationship think. I completely agree that it must be down to ones individual perspective of sex.

At the moment im really at a loose end, I have mood swings because of what happened and I can go from happy to depressed in a heart beat. I have never been like this before! I just cant stop thinking about it, its consuming my life. I KNOW I need to forgive her for everything that happened and just forget about it, move on and look foward to the future but I just can't do it. The simple thing would be to break up with her but im completely in love with her, even when I hated her and kissed other girls it just made me miss her more. I don't know, maybe I would benefit from professional help?

Tonight I viewed all of my old wall comments on Facebook over the last few months as well as hers and I really wish I didn't, at the time I didn't realise but she used my Facebook (as it was logged in at the time) to write a status about the person she had sex with!!! I didn't even realise at the time I wasn't even aware untill over the a month later, the moment I read that my heart sunk and I broke down, my eyes are still tearful now. Its just the fact that she was at my house days later and reading other comments we were getting close again 12 days before as we had a really long phone convo and afterward I was really happy because I knew then that we were getting back together. So in the space of 12 days it went from us getting close to her ****ing someone else and then back to me again and basically rubbing my nose in it!!! It really is as if she knew we were about to get back together so decided to have her "fun" before committing to our relationship again. If you knew her you really wouldn't think she would be that sort of person, before it all happened she basically had no major faults at all. Hard to believe I know and its really cliche but she was literally the perfect girlfriend.

Another problem is that I now can't even take her to my own University ball because hes going to be there apparently!

I know all im doing it ranting about the same thing continuously and yes, I know I need to sort my self out and get on with my life with her but I don't know what else do to. Filling this thread with everything im thinking seems to help slightly anyway. At the moment im just trying not to talk to her about it as I know it upsets her, I suppose all I can do it carry on like I am and just hope things get better.

[nayr]

Last night I found out she had sex with the cunt twice!!! In between the two times she saw me, we made out and "played". It's just so ****ed up!! I puked in the toilet when I got home and felt like I was going to have a heart attack, I just lay there in bed till around 3am and must have cried myself to sleep.

I really feel sorry for her at the same time as being angry, she told me how she didn't feel a thing and how the second time she didn't want to but felt pressured and didn't know how to say no or stop it.

Last night I asked her to tell me everything, I thought it would help me get over it but after a very long conversation, im feeling worse than ever. Her friend warned her what he was like but she did it anyway. She doesn't know why she did it and said she didn't even like him. I just feel so violated as its like shes a part of me, I hate knowing I could have stopped the second time from happening (or the first for that matter!) but there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, I need to stop thinking about it, I need to stop posting here but I can't!!

As depressed as I am, I need to keep my chin up for her as much as possible. Shes such a happy person and theres no way im going to bring her down with me.

She also told me how if I proposed to her she would say yes, I love her so much but I really don't know if I could marry her.. that special bond between us just doesn't feel as strong in a weird way.

[VincenzoG91]

Dude, from now on, you need to go with a policy of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. You just can't handle this kind of information, so it's better that you don't even know.