Ill just add-sometimes you need to take a few steps back in order to move forward. Have you suggested going back to basics with her? I get thats how she feels loved but you can still have the intimacy and closeness in other ways. Its worth a try. If it helps you to relax and put the focus on something else for awhile then just try it. She wants to fix this as much as you do so theres no harm in suggesting it.
Have you explained to her that her reaction is making the issue worse?
I know its not easy for guys to talk about these things, its embaressing and upsetting but you have to. Communication is the key