Ex text out of the blue

[daitrong]

If you want to know the truth, she is probably either feeling lonely and wants some reassurance that someone wants her, or she is in the mist of a new relationship. Most likely she's in the mist of another relationship and want to know that she has you as a backup if something goes wrong. The best thing for you to do is ignore her. If she REALLY wants to be with you, she will TELL you. A missed phone call or text won't stop her from wanting to get back with you.

[Username37]

If you want to know the truth, she is probably either feeling lonely and wants some reassurance that someone wants her, or she is in the mist of a new relationship. Most likely she's in the mist of another relationship and want to know that she has you as a backup if something goes wrong. The best thing for you to do is ignore her. If she REALLY wants to be with you, she will TELL you. A missed phone call or text won't stop her from wanting to get back with you.

I'm not sure about the mist of the new relationship. What gives you that idea? I'm not mad, just wondering

[xxazurexx]

Well I've been a dumper before who regretted my decison to end it and when I went back I didn't say outright 'I want you back'. I was too scared to say it and was afraid that he'd moved on, or that he'd found someone else. So I'd gone back and to test the waters and to see if there was still a chance. Sometimes they don't just come right out and say 'I want you back'....

This is why I wouldn't avoid contact with an ex and especially if it's a first contact since the break.

If I wasn't hearing what I wanted too after say 2 or 3 phone calls, or they were just sending random texts, 'How are you? blah blah....then I'd stop responding.

[Username37]

Well I've been a dumper before who regretted my decison to end it and when I went back I didn't say outright 'I want you back'. I was too scared to say it and was afraid that he'd moved on, or that he'd found someone else. So I'd gone back and to test the waters and to see if there was still a chance. Sometimes they don't just come right out and say 'I want you back'....

This is why I wouldn't avoid contact with an ex and especially if it's a first contact since the break.

If I wasn't hearing what I wanted too after say 2 or 3 phone calls, or they were just sending random texts, 'How are you? blah blah....then I'd stop responding.

So my ex could be "testing" the waters? Idk. My ex is a pretty direct person. Then again, ego is on the line ya know? So she wouldn't crack straight up.
Was there still a chance with you?

She initiated a lot of the contact. I started doing NC totally on June 20th and she broke it 3 times. Didn't reply 3/3 times.

So should I reply back to some of her text JUST to see her intentions?

[xxazurexx]

So my ex could be "testing" the waters? Idk. My ex is a pretty direct person. Then again, ego is on the line ya know? So she wouldn't crack straight up.
Was there still a chance with you?

She initiated a lot of the contact. I started doing NC totally on June 20th and she broke it 3 times. Didn't reply 3/3 times.

So should I reply back to some of her text JUST to see her intentions?

Well yeah there was still a chance with me, else I wouldn't have gone back. I can't remember what I'd said now, but I didn't blurt out immediatley, 'I want you back'. I waited and to see how he recieved my calling and what he said. But we got back together.

It is possible she may be testing the waters, but don't count on it. For every ex who wants to go back, there is an ex who is just lonely and maybe just misses you. It's sometimes hard and to move on from the familiar.

So I'd reply and to see what she says. If it was me recieving a 'are you ready to be friends yet', I'd reply that no I wasn't ready for friends and wait to see what they said. I personally wouldn't let an ex downgrade me to a friend and for that reason I don't remain friends with them. If they disgarded the full package, then they don't get side benefits either.

[Username37]

It is possible she may be testing the waters, but don't count on it. For every ex who wants to go back, there is an ex who is just lonely and maybe just misses you. It's sometimes hard and to move on from the familiar.

So I'd reply and to see what she says. If it was me recieving a 'are you ready to be friends yet', I'd reply that no I wasn't ready for friends and wait to see what they said. I personally wouldn't let an ex downgrade me to a friend and for that reason I don't remain friends with them. If they disgarded the full package, then they don't get side benefits either.

I feel weird texting it now. It's been like 5 days since I got the text haha but I feel like I should.

[Kayla]

I know this- the fact that you havent responded to her at all is making her think about it even more. If you want her back, respond but if you don't want her back- then continue to ignore her. If she says she wants you back then don't make it easy for her otherwise she may do this again.

[Username37]

I know this- the fact that you havent responded to her at all is making her think about it even more. If you want her back, respond but if you don't want her back- then continue to ignore her. If she says she wants you back then don't make it easy for her otherwise she may do this again.

Think about what?
And I decided I want her back. But how should I word everything if I text her back?

Problem is, I'm afraid that if I have a convo with her, it will place me into the friend zone and she'll feel that she can do anything she wants ya know?

[xxazurexx]

You have to have a convo with her and to figure out her motive for texting.

She asked you a simple question, 'Are you ready to be friends yet'? You answer and base your reply around the question she asked. Either you can be her friend, or not.
There is nothing else to say at this point - figure out what else to say and if she replies to your text.

[Username37]

You have to have a convo with her and to figure out her motive for texting.

She asked you a simple question, 'Are you ready to be friends yet'? You answer and base your reply around the question she asked. Either you can be her friend, or not.
There is nothing else to say at this point - figure out what else to say and if she replies to your text.

I decided not to text her back even though I'm still in love with her.

There's no point honestly. If this was a genuine offering of friendship, she would've at least made a better attempt to offer it.

And if she did want me back, she would be more direct not playing the water.

I'm sticking to NC.

[Kayla]

Think about what?
And I decided I want her back. But how should I word everything if I text her back?

Problem is, I'm afraid that if I have a convo with her, it will place me into the friend zone and she'll feel that she can do anything she wants ya know?

I meant think more about you. My thought that she is now thinking "wonder why he didnt answer me?" and what you are doing, if you have a new gf or not..

thats what i meant.

[xxazurexx]

I decided not to text her back even though I'm still in love with her.

There's no point honestly. If this was a genuine offering of friendship, she would've at least made a better attempt to offer it.

And if she did want me back, she would be more direct not playing the water.

I'm sticking to NC.

Good on you then, because I wouldn't settle for just friendship either.

[Username37]

Good on you then, because I wouldn't settle for just friendship either.

I find her offering of friendship fake.

If I did accept it, she would've not talked to me at all. She would just be off the hook ya know?

[Teddy057]

I was in your position too man. The ex texted me after 4 months of NC on the 4th of July, I'm guessing she was remembering all the things we did last year on the 4th... She asked How i was and then went off when I didn't respond calling me immature.. Followed the next day with a few texts of the same thing... I kinda found out how immature and retarded she is, and I never once responded. It's best to leave it as it is man, why rebuild a broken relationship when you can and will start new some day with someone better?

[cmacattack1]

Agreed, not replying was your best move.

I know how badly you want to read into her intentions like she cares more, but if her text said "How come we aren't friends?", treat it as just that: she wants friends. You don't or aren't ready for it yet, so no hurt in not replying back.

Most probably would have crumbled, good for you for staying strong.