It's all good, bro-ham......each one teach one, and we all learn something. This is nice site
It's all good, bro-ham......each one teach one, and we all learn something. This is nice site
Strength by the wind, is found in the roots
www.bleucandle.com
Well yes i do trust her because she has yet to do anything to make me think i shouldn't plus i never caught her lying...unless she's a good liar. But at the same time, maybe I have a hard time trusting a lot of people, especially females and I am far from being or trying to sound sexist. Just with past relationships that were far worse than anything in this one. This has so far been one of the most drama-free relationships I've been in until recently.
This is going to be a problem for the rest of your life. Most women will have a hard time accepting your past. If your her number 3 and shes your number 20-of course that is going to make her feel insecure and wonder how much integrity you have. That is something you are going to have to deal with. If this relationship doesn't work out, I strongly suggest you change your ways if you want any women to respect you as a man in the future.
Sorry to be blunt here but if I was your gf, I would find it very difficult to trust also. Past behavior is a clear indication of future behavior and men with a past like yours are more likely to cheat. Most girls need to feel secure that you are not going to trade her in for the next pair of t***s that come along.
I am not judging you here or accusing you of anything but I understand what is going through her head as the same thoughts would be going through mine..
trust me no offense taken and very well put. I try and tell myself I was that way because I was insecure about myself and if I could get away with such things that it would prove something. I grew up since then and regret every thought I had concerning such things. my now ex was a part of why I told myself sleeping with many woman will do nothing but create more self esteem issues or far worse. I guess my ex taught me how to treat a woman like a woman and to have respect for them if I can't have respect for myself.
which is why I'm here, trying to understand her from another point of view, or several. everybody so far has been a huge help and definitely cleared a few things in my head and actually made me feel a little bit better.
First of all, you dont need to tell all of your past. It has nothing to do with her. If you want to be with her, and she can see that, then whatever her issues concerning YOU'RE past are, are not your issues.
Let's be clear about something. She can either decide to stay and work through it, or she can leave. Your past isn't always going to dictate your future. We grow and we learn; though not all of us, but you can't call a frog, a tadpole..because it changed. Now, if you truly want to be with ONLY her, the struggle isn't yours, its hers.
I'm so tired of hearing about women having a hard time adjusting in the present, to a man's past. This is why people who weren't/arent in our past, don't need to be fixating on it. Geez
Strength by the wind, is found in the roots
www.bleucandle.com
I didn't tell her a thing that's the most annoying part, plus she never asked me. a few of our mutual "friends" told her, things like; "I can't believe you like him, he's been with a lot of girls" which is awful for her to hear. I guess all I can do is sit and wait it out if I want her back. as of now she's only texted me once in 4 days about meeting up to grand a shirt and pants I left at her house, which I never got. and last night she liked two of my Instagram pictures, whoopee.
but what if she's waiting for me to contact her?
Last edited by spiritofjosh; 08-02-13 at 05:33 AM.
Lol better hope u dont meet a nosy girl like me coz i wud ask and if i didnt get a straight answer, id assume you have something to hide and walk..
Its great that you have grown tho and learned from this. Deal with your insecurity and have more integrity and self respect in future. Thats all you can do.
Maybe u should try and tell her y u were like that and y u have changed and hopefully she will come around
I told her everything until i literally thought my face was blue. Her side is "if you felt this way before, why show it now? Why didn't you act like I was anything special before, etc etc." and yes she has a point but I cannot change anything that's already happened, I can only learn and move forward without repeating the same mistakes, this was also mentioned to her. Now I'm just wondering what she's doing and stuff, which I can't help at all, and just think that she's already over it and is happy alone even if she isn't going after somebody else. Can't say I blame her but I wish she'd come around and see how I started to act instead of how I did originally, albeit way later than I ever should have.
Maybe u just need to learn from this experience and put it behind you. Some girls dont give second chances im one of them and it might ensure the next time u meet someone special ull look after her
People will be people, the rest of us just need to learn
Strength by the wind, is found in the roots
www.bleucandle.com
Yes this is on the top of my mind. Obviously most people in my position wouldn't want that, naturally, but I guess the way she puts things is why I still dwell on it. She said she isn't looking to move on and still cares for me and that I don't have to wait for her, she never said she was over me. I guess this is what my hope is betting on, but like I said I'm not bothering her with texts or excuses to see her, I'm letting her be and waiting patiently. Maybe she'll come back and maybe she won't, if she does than I know what to do but if not then I move on and remember these mistakes....as you mentioned. Thanks
I hope it all works out. Either way you have mature, grown and learned 1 great women is always better than 10 below average whores and how you treat that 1 woman says a lot about whether you are a man or a mouse. Good luck to you
A small update, if you will. Today there was a show that I bought me and my ex tickets for over a month ago (a birthday gift for her) and last week we discussed that we'd meet so she could get in, nothing serious. Well the day came and I haven't heard anything from her so I texted her and asked if she was still getting a ride and she said our friend that was supposed to drive was being really weird about picking her up and my ex's car isn't running well so she couldn't make it. On top of that the tickets were will call and there was a mistake and only had one ticket under my name...so it was better she didn't make it.
During the show I asked if she just didn't want to go because of me and she said not at all and she planned on going but the ride just got screwed up. And I told her at least I got her to talk to me and she just said that she wouldn't ignore more if I text her, it made me feel like I'm just some nobody to her. Her birthday is monday and I said I didn't feel right that I want to see her on it (her 21st) but due to our circumstances I feel like I can't. She said if I want to see her I can but she didn't know what she was doing yet, but it's her birthday and I told her I didn't want her to feel awkward or uncomfortable. She wasn't being mean just to the point until my phone died but when I charged it she texted me 3 hours later a iphone symbol like she used to just to be funny, which made me feel a little better because the conversation ended before that. I also asked if she was seeing anybody else yet and she said "ha, no." and that she isn't making herself openly available and I said I'm not either, because I'm not.
So for one I don't know if I should try and see her on her birthday even if its for a moment to give her flowers or something because she likes them, or just call or text her. And more of the reason why I posted this is because I have no clue what she wants and I'm afraid I'm going to sound too desperate to ask her myself. She isn't telling me to go away and to move on but then again I don't try and contact her often, I just wish I knew if she still wants time or if she wants to move on from me altogether, or maybe waiting to see what I continue to do to see if she really can trust me? Thanks again for help on my situation, I want know I should try and move on but my heart is with her especially when this is all my fault to begin with.
Josh, I'd move on man. Take it from someone who needs to move on too. My ex of 4 years put me in a very similar situation. Holding onto this situation is probably some of the worst mental torture you can put yourself through. There's nothing to be gained from this struggle - the reality is she's just not that into you anymore. Women will always keep you at that exact distance which serves their emotional needs. If it's already been this long, she's already moved on in some shape or form. You're just lucky she isn't moving on while pretending to be close to you, because I feel like that would be more painful.